Can't stop crying how are you supposed to live without your mum? Forever?

[justneedmymum]

I think I'm going to vomit or pass out, I just can't stop crying and keep getting waves of nausea and dread.

It has been over 8 months since my mum died and I just can't figure out how this is it now forever? I am in my 30's she was in her 50's and there is too long left without her?

Waiting for genetic testing to come back to see what risk I have for the same cancer that killed her so I suppose there is a reasonable chance I won't live that long myself which is a whole other thing but even the thought of 10 more years without my mum is unfathomable.

Honestly don't think I'm ever going to be okay again, not really.

How did you manage when you had no parents left? How do you cope with feeling cut off and isolated if you don't have much other family? I have 2 other family members left who I'm close enough to ring for a chat every week or so but we live in three different countries now. See them a couple of times a year.

I feel so adrift.

Dipping in and out of this thread (reading all at once would be too overwhelming).

But I just wanted to send so much love to all the ladies who have lost their Mums and have shared experiences.

As I said I am several years down the line and it still hurts.

Has been of huge comfort to me that I am not alone in feeling like this. And OP I hope it will have been for you too.

There is hope on the other side beyond the intense grief at the beginning.

Hugs to you all for being so strong and god bless our wonderful Mothers.

My mum died 3 years ago and it’s been very hard. Her death was unexpected. I still tear up a lot. The grief is very intense in the early months, I think it took a couple of years before the feelings of panic and horror subsided. Outwardly I have functioned in that time, busy even but inwardly I’m a mess.

Its been a long and rotten journey, I’m definitely still mildly depressed and self neglect in many ways. I went from a slight mania at the beginning, long vigorous walks and threw myself into work to a real slump now, can’t remember the last time I took any exercise and I do what I need to at work, but no more.

Be kind to yourself and talk to an understanding friend, relative or counsellor if you need to. I had some counselling after a year and it was helpful.