Colleague taking too much time off for baby illness?

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My close colleague (shared workload), has been back from maternity a few months (working full time), but this is the 4th time she’s taken time off because her DD has a bug and can’t go to nursery. Employer is generous and so it’s paid time off, her DH is self employed so ‘can’t take any time off as he won’t get paid’. But it’s a flexible trade so he could work the weekend etc to make up any time/lost earnings, they just want to keep the weekends free.

I have 2 young kids, so understand it’s difficult, but when mine were at nursery DH and I would share the absences, emergency pickups etc, and juggle work to cover each other? I’d also work over the weekend to make up time if had time off during the week. My colleague doesn’t do that.

AIBU to think her DH should be covering some of these sicknesses, at the moment it’s having a real impact on my workload as I’m having to cover!

Yes I'm familiar with the concept, I've had paid time off of my work when I was physically to ill to work (or make up the time).

However, if I'd been off 4 times within a few months of being back from maternity leave and my employer was good enough to pay me for it, I'd feel the right thing to would be to make up for it (possibly not the full amount of time off but as much as a reasonably could). Any decent employer I've worked for who has been flexible in this regard worked on a 'give and take' basis and the flexibility/decency goes both ways.

Personally I think one partner taking all the absence and not making up the time purely cos the other is self-employed is absolutely taking the piss. The dc should be a joint responsibility

Perhaps

When ds starts nursery, dh will be in his busiest period in work and noone is allowed leave for about 4 months over that period as it massively affects the running of his workplace. He could of course take unpaid absence but firstly we can't afford that and secondly it would affect his credibility in his job.

My job are more understanding that this is what happens and it will inevitably be me who has to be off with ds. Which I hate because I want to be seen as reliable and back hitting the ground running as fast as I can.

I think you need to be a bit more understanding because you aren't fully informed on their situation and there isn't enough support in place to help parents sustain work and family life as it is. Not everyone has grandparents etc to help out and given that the weekend is the only family time most people get I would do my best to hold that as a boundary too.

Yanbu to complain that you're struggling with your workload, but yabu to complain about your colleague especially since at some point you've been her and isn't it a good job noone complained about you.

Everyone knows the first few months of nursery etc are brutal but kids can get sick at any time. I'd be incredibly thankful that yours are healthy enough that you're able to be in work consistently.

It doesn't matter WHY she is off, her personal arrangements are completely irrelevant.

You do need to complain about your workload and having to deal with unreasonable extra workload. Your company should employ some ad-hoc help and cover for missing staff if it impacts you that much.

Her absence should not impact you so much, whatever the reason.

Contractually, there is no paid time off…at discretion only…but in reality we still get paid. So no limit as such, I wouldn’t want to kick up such a fuss that she won’t be paid. But it would be better if she wasn’t off every single time baby has a temp!

What would you do if she were a single parent with no one to share the time off with? You can’t make her DH take the time off, he doesn’t work for your company. She’s taking time in line with company policy. What happens when she takes holiday normally? Or if she has sick days? Presumably you pick up her work then, too?

This is why I think paid time off is unfair....unless its government mandate and therefore equal.

Just MYOB.

You should be speaking to your boss about how your colleagues work is covered if you are unable to delegate it to others yourself.

But it would be better if she wasn’t off every single time baby has a temp!

I'm sure it would be better for her, too - however, her family dynamic isn't your business.

If the PTO is "discretionary" then the person at fault is the manager approving the PTO and expecting you to complete the work of two, not your colleague who has asked and been granted her PTO. Your manager needs to either arrange the workload appropriately, or stop approving the discretionary PTO. They will only do that if you make them aware that your workload is inappropriate, so start there.

Can understand your frustration but as many have pointed out, your colleague and her childcare arrangements are nothing to do with you.

If you have an issue with extra work, you need to talk to your manager.

So what would you do if she was the one that was sick multiple times in close succession? Presumably you’d raise the issue with your manager that you were struggling with workload and it then becomes their issue to work out a solution.

It’s possible that she feels awful about leaving you to pick up her work but in the event that you’re ever in the same position (for your own sickness or a dependent) you’d expect your colleagues to be understanding and raise the issue of workload with management. I had a colleague off multiple times in succession for cancer related illness/treatment and it was a struggle but we kept the manager updated and she got stuck in to help out wherever she could.

I wouldn’t want to kick up such a fuss that she won’t be paid.

why not? that's not your problem.
That shouldn't come in the discussion, her absence and pay are none of your business, but the impact on your workload IS your business.

You will be the one being blamed if you have too much on and don't deliver the standard you should be delivering.

You should make a fuss, just stay professional and stick to your own workload.

I’m the one approving the PTO….sorry I’m not describing the setup very well…if I complain then there is a risk our managers response will likely be to not to pay her…which I don’t really want to do. I’d rather just cover the workload/extra hours and hope she was just off less.

I don’t know the nature of your work but can’t you just not cover her stuff? Just do your own and leave hers for when she gets back.

She isn't doing anything wrong. She could take unpaid parental leave for several weeks at a time if she wanted to. I think you need to have a discussion with your manager that when the workload becomes too much it either needs distributing differently or there needs to be compensation for the extra time you put in (if that's what you want). You're doing it out of the goodness of your heart for a company, which is insane. I would put some boundaries in place sharpish. You can happily go the extra mile without taking on absolutely everything. However, as long as you do take care of it all, this isn't actually anyone's problem but yours. I would change that for a start.

I'd be incredibly thankful that yours are healthy enough that you're able to be in work consistently.

trust me they are not! But DH and I share the time off, and I will always make up the hours later, or at weekend to catch up for any time I’ve taken.

So your colleague is asking for time off, you're saying yes as the person responsible for approving, and then complaining about your colleague's time off?

Oooo tough one. I would be annoyed about having to pick up the slack but equally if I was in her position I'd definitely do what she's doing as the company are chilled and she gets paid. My husband's a teacher and having any time off is such a pain I imagine when I'm back at work I would always cover illness (although I can easily work from home). Is that not an option for her? To log on from home. Otherwise can you get extra help at work or push deadlines? Definitely not fair for you to be expected to get two people's work done in the same time x

Literally none of your business.

But the OP is picking up the slack. Why should she. The company needs to provide cover for the colleague when she is off.

This in a nutshell. I just prioritise the urgent/ important stuff in these scenarios and if the other things slide, tough shit.
Management won’t do anything if you’re doing extra to pick up the slack, they’ll just have their cake and eat it. If you let it pile up, and they query it you can say it’s because you can’t do 2 people jobs then they might do something about it.

It’s not your job to solve the problem, all you do is raise the problem with HR, and they look for the solution.

What you also have to do is push back on an unreasonable workload.

She needs back up childcare of some sort, but that’s for her and HR to sort. They can find someone else to help with the extra work for now.

I don't think it's up to you to decide how they manage their childcare and children's sicknesses. If she's entitled to paid time off, I don't see why she wouldn't take it. This is something you need to address with the management since you shouldn't be expected to pick up the slack. But you ABU to try to redistribute the childcare in a family that isn't your own.

She would maybe still be the one taking the time off if it was unpaid, which gets you nowhere and just makes life that bit more difficult for her. Your workplace has a policy that's great for working mothers, its not on your colleague that you didn't use it as frequently with small children.

I really don't see this as taking advantage any more than you/the company taking advantage of her by paying her less to have the same workload as you.

It's literally your job as her manager to delegate whatever you can to the teams and yourself to cover her workload, and escalate if this isn't possible.

But not paying her doesn't actually solve your issue. She might very well choose to not be paid on days where she has to look after her ill child. How does that improve your situation?
Work on the actual problem which is the workload when only 1 person is dealing with it.