To charge son rent if he's away for the week?

[tropicalcocktails]

Ds late 20s still lives at home but has family in another part of the country, he has just announced he's going to visit his other parent for the week.
We normally charge him a weekly contribution and at this current time money is pretty tight so we need him to contribute.
We have 2 young children who share a room as he still lives with us.
He's suddenly sprung this on us and as he now won't expect to pay his contribution next week that's money we will now have to find.

AIBU to think that as we don't have that bedroom free for our other children who share and I'll still have his washing to do and the fact he has known about this visit for weeks but didn't think he needed to tell us his plans which has now left us short he should still pay his contribution?

Of course he should. You don’t get rent/bill free for a week when you live in your own place

He can go where he wants ,when he wants. He still pays. That's how life works.

Not the main point of your message, I know, but if he's in his late 20s why are you doing his washing?

You don't stop paying rent because you're on a weeks holiday.
So he still needs to pay.

A small reduction if you can afford it perhaps, but there's nothing wrong with expecting him to pay as normal.

If he was renting his own home he’d still have to pay when he was away.

Why are you housing a grow adult and doing his washing?

Yes he should pay. If he was renting he does not get out of paying rent to his landlord if he went away, so the same applies here.

What does his contribution cover?
Food... well he's not eating there!
Rent/utilities/Council tax... Still need paying.

It's not a hotel so he can't pay per night. Maybe a little discount if you pay for his food

If you need him to pay then he will have to but it does seem a bit mean. I know he’s using the room, however if he left home you would need to pay the same bills. He’s not costing you anything extra whilst he’s away for a week.

We just have a laundry basket for the whole household and I've always just done it when it's full, that works for me, I wouldn't leave him out.

At late 20's with no notice that's a bonus week for you OP.

Had he given you a little more consideration maybe you in turn would consider a reduction.

Of course he should still pay. I don't stop paying my rent or mortgage when I go on holiday.

Put your foot down and tell him that's unacceptable!

Yes he should pay

If he refuses tell him you're charging him x amount for storage of his things in your spare room for the week .

Well he would still have to pay a mortgage if he went away and he would still have to pay rent if he had a private rental so why shouldn't he still pay rent when it's at home.

You could compromise and ask him for half of it. He won't be using gas/elec/water whilst he's away.

At his age, he is essentially a lodger. I wouldn’t expect him to contribute to food for that week, if you’re still buying it for him, but he is paying for the ability to store his stuff in a room that will still be waiting for him when he returns.

If he doesn’t want to pay it then he’ll need to take all of his belongings with him and hope that you haven’t either found a new lodger or put one of your younger children in the room by the time he returns.

I remember my brother arguing about this with my dad when we still lived at home and paid board.

He should definitely pay. The mortgage company will still want paying when you go on holiday.

Rent doesn’t stop when you travel.

does his rent actually cover the cost of having him live there or are you subsidizing him? By his late 20s he should be self-sufficient unless there are extreme extenuating circumstances.

Of course he should pay.

YANBU

He gets it quite easy he gets a packed lunch for work and an evening meal with the family, all washing done, has no chores to do so he is still living as a teenager but we do rely on his contribution which to suddenly not get out of the blue one week does leave us feeling the pinch.

If we wouldn't notice it financially I'd be happy to let him off the week as I do usually, while he doesn't visit them often I've usually had some warning.
He also earns more than either of us and has no other outgoings apart from his car.

Thank you everyone, I will speak to him and ask that he still gives us something as we were expecting to have it.
I don't feel so mean now.

I would make him pay still but I do think it is a bit difficult relying so much on his money. What will you do if he moves out?