To charge son rent if he's away for the week?

[tropicalcocktails]

Ds late 20s still lives at home but has family in another part of the country, he has just announced he's going to visit his other parent for the week.
We normally charge him a weekly contribution and at this current time money is pretty tight so we need him to contribute.
We have 2 young children who share a room as he still lives with us.
He's suddenly sprung this on us and as he now won't expect to pay his contribution next week that's money we will now have to find.

AIBU to think that as we don't have that bedroom free for our other children who share and I'll still have his washing to do and the fact he has known about this visit for weeks but didn't think he needed to tell us his plans which has now left us short he should still pay his contribution?

Never questioned that. Feel free to look up my first post.

It's all a bit odd.

They pay less if you change to monthly.
So if used to £100pw
£100 pw = £400 every 28 days.
£400pm = £400 every 28-31 days.
Those odd days add up to a couple of free weeks over a year.

Not necessarily. You're presuming everyone who changed from weekly to monthly would just multiply the weekly cost by 4 which is only one way to do it...

Another way is to £100 x 52 then divide by 12...

So you cook for him, make his lunch and do all his washing and he is 29?

You have much bigger things to worry about than whether he pays for a week when he is not there.

Tell him to shape up, contribute to the house hold ( ie chores) or he can ship out and see how he fares when mummy dearest isn't there to be a house keeper. I feel sorry for any future partner he might have...

He should be contributing BUT I'm slightly concerned that one missed week from him throws your finances into disarray. I take it he won't be using any resources so realistically you shouldnt be relying on it this much.

What will happen when he moves out and you lose his contribution for good

Well, if the OP can't let her own son/daughter off of a couple of 'free' weeks, maybe charge them a daily amount...that can be then paid weekly or monthly?

Definitely charge him!
Bills don't stop when you go on holiday.

Because the bar is set low for men.

He probably should pay but as an adult if he were living in rented accommodation he wouldn’t have to give notice if he was going away so I don’t know why anyone is bringing up the fact he didn’t give notice- he’s in his 20s!!!

Not the main point of your message, I know, but if he's in his late 20s why are you doing his washing?
Because the bar is set low for men.
When I loved at home and paid rent my mother would have done the washing too and the whole joke about adults living at home is at least they get a good cooked dinner and they’re washing done. It definitely isn’t just a man thing

Late 20s and doing this! Time to ask him to move out perhaps? Just for 6 months ish, so he appreciates subsidised accommodation you provide and the sacrifices everyone in the family makes for him.

I worked away 3 out of 4 weeks I still paid my parents keep each month even though I was only there for a week. If he moved out his landlord wouldn’t let him off with a weeks rent because he’s going on holiday so neither should you.

looks like this is a leaning opportunity for DS, bills don't disappear when you go away, rent still payable, mortgage still payable when you go on holiday. Why on earth does he think he can command what bills he pays when?

Personally, I wouldn't dream of making my child contribute to the bills when they were away (uni, holiday etc). For me, their contribution would be to pay for what they use, if they're not there then they're not eating the food I buy, not using the energy, not needing lifts here and there, so what are they costing me? Nothing. So nothing for them to pay.

If he was renting, would they let him off a week or two whilst on holiday? There's your answer.

Also late 20s, still living at home and you're doing everything for him? Don't make the same mistake with the other 2 - as a parent, your job is to raise them to live in the adult works independently.

I personally wouldnt charge my child the full amount if they are away, but yes id still expect something. People saying your rent or mortgage doesnt stop just because you're on holiday. Fair enough, but you would still have no food shop for that week, wouldn't be using as much gas / electricity / water etc. If your child is contributing to those things too then I feel its abit unfair to charge for what he wont be using that week. But if in both your minds its purely for a bedroom hes paying, then yes charge the full amount

If you have time to reduce the amount of food you are buying, then I'd make a reduction to reflect that (rounded in his favour because there will also be a small diminution of electricity used if he's not running/charging devices).

If he didn't give you enough notice of intentions for you to buy less, then this time he has to just suck it up and learn from it.

I have adult children living with me. Their “rent” is composed of two elements - bills and food. One buys their own food, so their overall “rent” is lower. If the others are away, then the bills element remains, but I let them off their food element.

You do clearly say in the op that it's money you'll have to find next week.

That insinuates that his money IS needed to cover your outgoings.

So you have an adult son who earns more than you and your husband, has his washing done for him, his packed lunch made for him, dinner cooked for him, has no chores to do and pays ‘rent’ when he feels like it.

our role as parents is to teach our children all the life skills they need to thrive when they fly the nest, not to keep them at home because we either can’t bear to let them leave or because we need their money. You are creating an adult incapable of functioning on their own or behaving like an adult.

please tell me this is a joke post or the daily mail trying to get us to bite for a story?!

My 23yo daughter still lives at home because private rentals are too expensive for her to move out alone. I expect her to pay her share and expect it even when she goes on holiday for a week. She earns more than me and I have the house to pay for and her two siblings to support as a single parent. Ultimately I'm subsidising her living costs as she pays me far less than she she would pay as a lodger elsewhere.

Tell him there's a set monthly rent for living at home, end of. I do think you need to stop doing washing too, that's ridiculous

Will he bring his washing home with him for you to do after his holiday?

Unless he brings his washing home.

I’d probably ask for a reduced amount if his rent includes food/hot water etc.