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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it’s weird dp has booked an air b and b and not just stayed at our flat?

170 replies

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 05:54

Can’t tell if I’m massively overthinking this and my mind has just jumped to cheating and staying the night with another woman. It’s typical me being paranoid really and not because he has a history. It just seems quite strange.

we own a studio flat which we will definitely upsize when we can but for his birthday he wants to have a night with his 2 best mates, I assumed it would be at ours considering I knew he was hosting it and have planned something for me to do that night (we are doing something together the Friday night) so I’m not there so he will have the place to himself.

he has actually renting a 2 bed/bath place and told me it’s because it’s just more room so they can all comfortably move about and sleep there. Is this normal? My mum has said why doesn’t he just stay in the empty place he owns and I do have to agree. Yes it’s not huge but it’s enough to have a couple of close friends over. He says he doesn’t want to feel claustrophobic and the place he has rented has outside seating etc. £120 mind!

AIBU to think it is a little strange? It’s literally right in our city as well, like a few mins drive so he’s paying £120 to be a couple of minutes away from his empty home? Does this scream suspicious?

OP posts:

WorldPeaceV · 06/10/2023 05:58

I don't think it is really. There will be more space. Two bathrooms too. £120 isn't that much these days. I assume they are having a night in. If so, 3 in a studio would be cramped. This way they presumably get a bed/sofa to themselves.

If he was cheating he'd only need a one bed surely?

Quitelikeit · 06/10/2023 06:00

Well a studio can be teeny?

I mean do you even have one bedroom in there?

Some men might like a little privacy and I wouldn’t blame them afterall a studio is like sharing a hotel room

Would it be ok if one of his friends did pull? Though I doubt that’s the real motivation as if they did they could go back to hers/hotel etc

Daffyaboutdaffs · 06/10/2023 06:00

Where would they all sleep in the studio flat? I think it seems reasonable to want more space for 3 of them.

saffronsoup · 06/10/2023 06:01

That sounds completely reasonable to me. Unless they are uni students, it is very normal for adults to want space.

Renting an air bnb for a birthday with friends couldn’t be more normal and reasonable.

I think your view is the odd one.and unless he has done something in the past then looking at this as suspicious and maybe cheating neg is just completely unfair and borderline nasty.

Kinneddar · 06/10/2023 06:02

Nope I'm with him on this one. I presume if its a studio flat it's basically one large living/sleeping area. I can see why that really wouldn't sound like fun for 3 of them.

I'd gladly pay £120 for a bigger flat & separate rooms and a nice outdoor space rather than having to be in the one room all evening then have to sleep in the same room on the floor

Exasperatednow · 06/10/2023 06:06

Suspicious of what?

Simonjt · 06/10/2023 06:06

So when his friends stay he needs at least three beds, how many beds does your studio flat have? Sharing a studio with mates screams child like sleepover, I would find it more weird if he hadn’t booked somewhere suitable for everyone to stay.

PinkMoscatoLover · 06/10/2023 06:07

Where in the world are 3 people meant to sleep/relax in a studio flat?

Surely it makes a lot of space for him to book somewhere else so all men have enough space? Why would that scream suspicious I’m so confused?

£120 to rent a two bedroom property for the day/night is extremely cheap. I really don’t understand the problem tbh

jolies1 · 06/10/2023 06:07

Also £120 split between three & no one needs to share a bed / clean up the next day I think he’s got a bargain!

Overthebow · 06/10/2023 06:08

I’d do the same as him, I wouldn’t want to invite two friends to stay with me in a studio.

YourNameGoesHere · 06/10/2023 06:09

Seems incredibly reasonable and if I were him I'd be pretty pissed off at the assumption it was in any way suspicious.

A studio flat is very unlikely to have enough space for 3 adults to comfortably sleep. He sounds like a fantastic friend putting the comfort of his guests as a priority.

WereYouListeningToTheDudesStory · 06/10/2023 06:12

I love my friends, but between sharing a studio flat and having my own room, you couldn't take my money fast enough.

Mummadeze · 06/10/2023 06:16

Surely this is more of a birthday treat than staying in the studio flat! I have booked a £300 hotel room for one night to stay over in London when I live in London! It was a treat!

Original poster

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:16

He’s paying. They aren’t splitting despite it being his birthday though. He said he’s hosting so makes sense he covers it and they’re going to bring drinks etc

our studio is quite big with it basically being a 1 bed place

you’re right maybe I’m being my typical paranoid self and I haven’t said anything to him about it really, just asked some questions

OP posts:

Ladyj84 · 06/10/2023 06:18

Haha we have a house but always more than happy when other half goes with mates on birthday overnights

Original poster

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:19

Oh and we have a bed, a sofa bed and sofa armchair so 3 beds. The place he is renting means 1 is still on the sofa bed in the living area as well

OP posts:

WereYouListeningToTheDudesStory · 06/10/2023 06:20

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:19

Oh and we have a bed, a sofa bed and sofa armchair so 3 beds. The place he is renting means 1 is still on the sofa bed in the living area as well

It doesn't have privacy though! Plus a night on an armchair sounds wretched.

jolies1 · 06/10/2023 06:21

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:16

He’s paying. They aren’t splitting despite it being his birthday though. He said he’s hosting so makes sense he covers it and they’re going to bring drinks etc

our studio is quite big with it basically being a 1 bed place

you’re right maybe I’m being my typical paranoid self and I haven’t said anything to him about it really, just asked some questions

If your studio has 1 proper bed and he has 3 friends coming it makes sense… they’re grown ups & will probably appreciate a bed and space to shower/change. I’m sorry OP I think you’re being a bit paranoid. I don’t think it’s uncommon now for people to rent a place that’s a bit bigger / more set up for a lads or girls weekend than home especially as you can relax and not worry about damage / cleaning up with a hangover! My DP has done it for big sports events they get together somewhere with a big tv and bigger social space where they don’t have to worry about wives coming back to a mess.

Kinneddar · 06/10/2023 06:23

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:19

Oh and we have a bed, a sofa bed and sofa armchair so 3 beds. The place he is renting means 1 is still on the sofa bed in the living area as well

Who'd want to sleep on an armchair.

Plus they'll all be in the same room all the time.

There's just no completion between the place he's (very sensibly) renting & the studio flat. He's definitely done the right thing

Simonjt · 06/10/2023 06:23

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:19

Oh and we have a bed, a sofa bed and sofa armchair so 3 beds. The place he is renting means 1 is still on the sofa bed in the living area as well

Yeah, suitable for a childrens sleepover, but not adults meeting up.

YourNameGoesHere · 06/10/2023 06:25

you’re right maybe I’m being my typical paranoid self and I haven’t said anything to him about it really, just asked some questions

You say your typical paranoid self? Being honest are you often looking for evidence he's up to no good or doing something suspicious?

Does he give you any reason to actually be suspicious or is this all your imagination? To be honest he probably already knows that's exactly how you're feeling even without telling him and it's a pretty shit way for a partner to behave to always assume you're constantly up to no good.

For most people as you can see from the replies this is a totally normal and sensible thing to do.

Original poster

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:25

Thank you. Clearly eased my mind. It’s not something I’ve ever done or considered since living out of my family home over 5 years ago!

OP posts:

MNetcurtains · 06/10/2023 06:26

All of the above, plus no bedding to have to bother with/launder.

autiebooklover · 06/10/2023 06:26

I think it's a waste of money when they could stay at yours or the flat. But I wouldn't assume cheating.

Original poster

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:28

I agree it does seem quite wasteful to be only a few mins away for the cost but seems quite a normal thing based on replies

OP posts:

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