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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it’s weird dp has booked an air b and b and not just stayed at our flat?

170 replies

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 05:54

Can’t tell if I’m massively overthinking this and my mind has just jumped to cheating and staying the night with another woman. It’s typical me being paranoid really and not because he has a history. It just seems quite strange.

we own a studio flat which we will definitely upsize when we can but for his birthday he wants to have a night with his 2 best mates, I assumed it would be at ours considering I knew he was hosting it and have planned something for me to do that night (we are doing something together the Friday night) so I’m not there so he will have the place to himself.

he has actually renting a 2 bed/bath place and told me it’s because it’s just more room so they can all comfortably move about and sleep there. Is this normal? My mum has said why doesn’t he just stay in the empty place he owns and I do have to agree. Yes it’s not huge but it’s enough to have a couple of close friends over. He says he doesn’t want to feel claustrophobic and the place he has rented has outside seating etc. £120 mind!

AIBU to think it is a little strange? It’s literally right in our city as well, like a few mins drive so he’s paying £120 to be a couple of minutes away from his empty home? Does this scream suspicious?

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 06/10/2023 07:40

He's doing you a favour. Who wants a pile of pissed up men lolling about in their flat? I'd be glad he'd taken the initiative.

SD1978 · 06/10/2023 07:42

Why would you want to sleep in the same room as your partner and his 2 most likely drunk friends? He's being respectful of your shared space.

NorthernSarcasticandDownrightFantastic · 06/10/2023 07:43

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 05:54

Can’t tell if I’m massively overthinking this and my mind has just jumped to cheating and staying the night with another woman. It’s typical me being paranoid really and not because he has a history. It just seems quite strange.

we own a studio flat which we will definitely upsize when we can but for his birthday he wants to have a night with his 2 best mates, I assumed it would be at ours considering I knew he was hosting it and have planned something for me to do that night (we are doing something together the Friday night) so I’m not there so he will have the place to himself.

he has actually renting a 2 bed/bath place and told me it’s because it’s just more room so they can all comfortably move about and sleep there. Is this normal? My mum has said why doesn’t he just stay in the empty place he owns and I do have to agree. Yes it’s not huge but it’s enough to have a couple of close friends over. He says he doesn’t want to feel claustrophobic and the place he has rented has outside seating etc. £120 mind!

AIBU to think it is a little strange? It’s literally right in our city as well, like a few mins drive so he’s paying £120 to be a couple of minutes away from his empty home? Does this scream suspicious?

This seems totally normal for an adult tbf... and a very cheap overnight!

Beamur · 06/10/2023 07:44

I think he's being considerate to everyone. It's a rented space so they can relax, enough space for them to each have a private space to sleep and someone else cleans it afterwards. Plus it makes it more of an event.

Basilton · 06/10/2023 07:44

Sounds like an absolute bargain for £120. Good thinking on his part, overnight in a studio flat with two friends sounds hellish.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 06/10/2023 07:46

Recently DH was away fro 4 nights, so I booked myself into a little lodge 15mins from my house and worked there ,thur, Fri, Sat and Sun, it was a little break away for me, plus it had a hot tub. Oh and that was £90 a night.

That was me on my own, so I guess not weird

Sunsetandsmiles · 06/10/2023 07:49

I agree that you’re being unreasonable and maybe need to look at why you’re so suspicious and paranoid of your DP cheating.

Where are you going/what are you doing on this night? Would it be reasonable if your DP to become suspicious of you because you’re staying out of the home overnight?

saraclara · 06/10/2023 07:58

I would hate sharing a studio with two other adults. No privacy, nowhere to be alone, and on top of each other the whole time.

If someone invited me and another friend and I turned up to find we were sharing a studio, I'd want to go home.

I'm amazed that you can't see that. Three members of a family could share at a push, just as we've used family rooms in hotels. But three adult friends? No.

PrincessScarlett · 06/10/2023 08:02

I don't understand the problem. A studio flat is an awful set up for 3 adults sleeping over. It's obvious they want a bed each and space to chill out.

Why are you so suspicious he might be cheating?

margotrose · 06/10/2023 08:02

I really think you need to look at why you're so paranoid about this.

It sounds sensible to me. More space, more privacy and less cleaning up to do afterwards. What's not to like?!

Original poster
Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 08:02

He’s turning 24 and I’m 23. My mum had a bad experience with my dad and has definitely made me paranoid, he’s never given me a reason to think he is cheating.

the armchair is one that like reclines to a bed

OP posts:
Mummyofbananas · 06/10/2023 08:03

Is it nearer pubs/clubs to save on travel and taxis as well? I think it seems quite normal for a birthday night.

autiebooklover · 06/10/2023 08:04

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:28

I agree it does seem quite wasteful to be only a few mins away for the cost but seems quite a normal thing based on replies

That's because everyone else on mn is ££££££ 😂

saraclara · 06/10/2023 08:12

autiebooklover · 06/10/2023 08:04

That's because everyone else on mn is ££££££ 😂

Show quote history

Well OP and her partner are 23 and have their own place PLUS this studio that they don't really use. So they can't be short of a bob or two either.

saraclara · 06/10/2023 08:14

saraclara · 06/10/2023 08:12

Well OP and her partner are 23 and have their own place PLUS this studio that they don't really use. So they can't be short of a bob or two either.

Show quote history

Ah, sorry. Ignore that. I totally got that wrong. The studio is available because OP is away then. It's not an extra.

Greenberg2 · 06/10/2023 08:15

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 08:02

He’s turning 24 and I’m 23. My mum had a bad experience with my dad and has definitely made me paranoid, he’s never given me a reason to think he is cheating.

the armchair is one that like reclines to a bed

Don't punish your boyfriend for your dad's behaviour. There's nothing worse than being blamed for someone else's past. Ask your mum to keep out of commenting on your relationship. It's not healthy.

JennaLi · 06/10/2023 08:16

Be careful mentioning that to him, if my partner accused me of cheating because of this I'd be gone.

Original poster
Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 08:16

We really don’t have much money. We struggled to get on the property ladder together hence a studio and we don’t save much I’m quite frugal and he isn’t bad but doesn’t mind not saving some months if it means he can enjoy something

OP posts:
kirinm · 06/10/2023 08:18

I don't think it sounds suspicious at all. Three people in a studio flat sounds horrible and I think it would be £120 well spent tbh.

Niinja · 06/10/2023 08:21

I think you grow out of all bunking in together. Normal at 18 is not the same as normal at 30. I'm not sure it would have occurred to me (I'm pre-airbnb generation) but I think it's a very smart idea.

BlondeFool · 06/10/2023 08:22

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 06:19

Oh and we have a bed, a sofa bed and sofa armchair so 3 beds. The place he is renting means 1 is still on the sofa bed in the living area as well

Yes but he's rented a two bedroom. I can't see the issue unless there's a huge backstory 🤷‍♀️

VivaLaVolvo · 06/10/2023 08:22

Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 08:16

We really don’t have much money. We struggled to get on the property ladder together hence a studio and we don’t save much I’m quite frugal and he isn’t bad but doesn’t mind not saving some months if it means he can enjoy something

Then why dont you rent the flat out?

Original poster
Ohifhemakes · 06/10/2023 08:23

When? We live in it

OP posts:
Rewis · 06/10/2023 08:26

If 3 people in a studio sounds horrible for one night at 23 then I'm living a very different life from some of the commenters 😃

NewFriendlyLadybird · 06/10/2023 08:27

Not weird at all. It’s his birthday and your flat is not suitable. Plus it’s fun to sleep somewhere different, even near to where you live.