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Original poster

So upset about dp prospects

397 replies

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 09:38

I don't know what I wish to achieve by posting here but I need it off my chest.
Dp came from another country several years ago and was granted work permission last year I helped him get work through an agency in a factory setting but it's only minimum wage and he has relatives back in his home country who are always looking towards him for financial help due to extremely low wages there.
Dp attended school in his home country but he left at age 14 to work and help his family who where quite poor.
Dp said there was no such thing as leaving school with grades etc and he was never able to release any potential.
What I've found is that dp is actually very clever and appears to pick things up very quickly and is very capable but we are stuck we can't afford training and he is working full-time so no time and I've helped apply for jobs but we are finding his cv is very tricky as hardly any work history here in the uk and no UK education.
He is never selected on any job application rejection after rejection and he is 46 now.
His current employer is so happy with him thinks he's great etc but it's minimum wage and he can't increase his income or learn new things. Please go easy on me I'm upset about this.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Besidetheriver · 05/10/2023 12:46

The last chimney sweep that came to the house
He had a van & a suction machine that sucked the soot out of the chimney

Tryingmybestadhd · 05/10/2023 12:48

It happens a lot to people from abroad even with those with studies . It’s a mix between racism’s and bigotry . My partner is on a low paid role simply because unless you worried in the U.K. before you cannot get a job , despite having qualifications and coming from a job that paid him 3 x what he earns ( he came here to live with us ) . It’s very frustrating as he is in his 40 s and capable of so much more but he doesn’t get given a chance .

TheLightProgramme · 05/10/2023 12:48

What work did he do in his home country? Does he have work related skills and experience from there?

Tryingmybestadhd · 05/10/2023 12:49

Oh and no criticism from me regarding money . We have family in an African country ourselves, thankfully only a sibling of my partner and his child but we often help as it really means the child being able to eat well and go to school

EeesandWhizz · 05/10/2023 12:50

You write about what he can't do, but have you tried to think more about what he CAN do. What has he done done in the 32 years since leaving school? What skills has he learned in that time, what aspects of his employment has he enjoyed? What are his interests and hobbies?

What does he actually want to do? And how can he get there?

PikachuChickenRice · 05/10/2023 12:50

Janieforever · 05/10/2023 12:45

Your replies are confusing me, they seem evasive or defeatist. If he’s 46 he’s got over 3 decades of work experience, irrelevant of country, he will have transferable skills, if he has poor written English and has been here a a few years there are plenty of resources he could have used to fix this, if you can drive you can teach him.

if you wish to progress then he needs to actually start doing these things

and what was his plan? Both your plan? You both must have know no qualifications, poor literacy and no driving ability would be a major hurdle?

Show quote history

I suspect they've been scammed by the media hype r.e. shortage professions.
IT for example (especially CyberSecurity) there are literally THOUSANDS of bootcamps, skills shortage articles, etc loads and loads of studies showing how we have a skills shortage.
But that's not true. We have plenty of people. Companies just don't want to train them and they want a bigger labour pool so they can drive wages down., And in a bad economic climate like now loads of people get laid off.
People like @babyproblems who have some related experience and re-training into UX design for example are OK but there are loads of other people with no background retraining, hoping to get a job and then find it was all for nothing. Unless of course they do loads of free work, spend lots of time doing their own portfolio etc but that's time they're not getting paid.

Original poster
Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 12:50

Janieforever
I'm just a humble carer but a worthwhile job surely.
Dp only ever worked as a shoemaker also I have taken everything on board and realise we need to start at the bottom I'm not been defeatist or evasive I intend to work through all of the helpful suggestions on here

OP posts:
Gillypie23 · 05/10/2023 12:52

Welcome to the poverty trap! People on average wages are all in the same boat.

PikachuChickenRice · 05/10/2023 12:52

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 12:46

PikachuChickenRice
So many times I've wondered if he'd be better off on his own dp doesn't want us to part says he loves me is used to life with me that he respects the help I've given him etc etc.
On his income alone he still can't increase the money to relatives unless of course he lives in a shitty house share he may manage then but he only has his visa because of me.

He has to be clear on what he can give them - then say, no more.
He is struggling. He will come through but it takes time.
I can understand preventing them from starving but you know in these cultures there's also an element of 'oh I have a relative abroad and they can pay for everything AND give me a luxurious life so I can show off to others' it's a source of social embarrassment sometimes they're still in poverty but got this person 'abroad'.
He needs to say no to that.

Original poster
Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 12:53

Janieforever
I guess I'm saying I don't know if all the effort of training etc will lead to anything due to possible prejudice like his friends may have suffered who knows

OP posts:
Normalsizedsalad · 05/10/2023 12:54

https://www.timpson.co.uk/repairs/shoe

Famous for giving chances

Brokendaughter · 05/10/2023 12:54

If his written English is not good, he can correct that for free by taking courses online & self studying (e.g. Khan Academy).

Before he looks at anything else, improving that is important.

His age will be going against him too, but I wouldn't consider taking on anyone with poor written or spoken English skills, no matter where they were from or how old they were.

Original poster
Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 12:54

PikachuChickenRice
Spot on

OP posts:
SBHon · 05/10/2023 12:55

I agree with the suggestions of making the CV/applications much more obvious that he has GCSE equivalent qualifications.

I bet if he works on his CV and then you ask some people here to proof read it then that will help a lot, especially with places like McDonalds.

MrsApplepants · 05/10/2023 12:55

I was going to suggest Timpson and his shoe making background could be really relevant

YouveGotAFastCar · 05/10/2023 12:55

What free things has he done to help himself? Lots of places offer free interview practice, CV help, some places have ESOL courses, English and Maths basic qualifications... Has he explored any of that?

You seem to be tied in knots. He needs to be with you to have a visa to stay. You have a job but also your own circumstances to take into account and you can't bankroll him, or fund his training, which is fair enough. His family need his support.

If he could pause sending money home; he could put that money towards qualifications and trainings that meant he could earn more and send more home; but if that's not possible, he has to be earning.

So what free things has he done? How many applications has he done?

It sounds a little bit like he's stuck in the idea that nobody will hire him now, and he's doing his agency job but not really trying to improve his circumstances. That's not okay, if it's impacting on both of your lives; and making either or both of you depressed.

PikachuChickenRice · 05/10/2023 12:55

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 12:53

Janieforever
I guess I'm saying I don't know if all the effort of training etc will lead to anything due to possible prejudice like his friends may have suffered who knows

It will OP. You just need to get the right training.
Which country is he from - there might be community groups willing to help!

YouveGotAFastCar · 05/10/2023 12:56

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 12:53

Janieforever
I guess I'm saying I don't know if all the effort of training etc will lead to anything due to possible prejudice like his friends may have suffered who knows

I guess I really sympathise, genuinely, but your last few posts like this one have suggested he might have already made his mind up that's the prejudice and he'll never get any more opportunities, so he'll settle for what he has?

Timpsons is an excellent shout, has he explored that?

Original poster
Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 12:56

Applied at Timpsons some time ago and never heard back but could be worth another try.

OP posts:
PikachuChickenRice · 05/10/2023 12:56

Also to add a friend of mine family came from Iran as refugees and the Iranian community here helped set him up, now owns a grocery store. Could be worth seeing if there's anybody like that

BlueYonder57 · 05/10/2023 12:56

My friends husband came from Pakistan with a BSc in computing science some 20 years ago. He's fluent in English. He couldn't get a job with all his skills, so he worked full time in Morrisons warehouse and did an MSc at a British university in his own time on top of that. He's still stuck in Morrisons warehouse. Applied for thousands of jobs and more internal promotions that you can shake a stick at. Never got one. Often doesn't even get an interview.

I can't imagine why that is.... 😖

Original poster
Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 12:58

YouveGotAFastCar
Not at all we keep trying

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 05/10/2023 12:58

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 12:53

Janieforever
I guess I'm saying I don't know if all the effort of training etc will lead to anything due to possible prejudice like his friends may have suffered who knows

Government boot camps line up interviews on exit.

PikachuChickenRice · 05/10/2023 12:59

BlueYonder57 · 05/10/2023 12:56

My friends husband came from Pakistan with a BSc in computing science some 20 years ago. He's fluent in English. He couldn't get a job with all his skills, so he worked full time in Morrisons warehouse and did an MSc at a British university in his own time on top of that. He's still stuck in Morrisons warehouse. Applied for thousands of jobs and more internal promotions that you can shake a stick at. Never got one. Often doesn't even get an interview.

I can't imagine why that is.... 😖

Does he have a strong portfolio of personal projects? Given the large amount of non-British people in tech particularly of South Asian descent I highly doubt that his situation was due to prejudice. But this is today... maybe different 20 years ago.

Volvooo · 05/10/2023 12:59

Could he work as a translator at all, in person/online etc. Not sure what his other language is but if it's something that people need help with into English could be an option.