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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So upset about dp prospects

397 replies

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 09:38

I don't know what I wish to achieve by posting here but I need it off my chest.
Dp came from another country several years ago and was granted work permission last year I helped him get work through an agency in a factory setting but it's only minimum wage and he has relatives back in his home country who are always looking towards him for financial help due to extremely low wages there.
Dp attended school in his home country but he left at age 14 to work and help his family who where quite poor.
Dp said there was no such thing as leaving school with grades etc and he was never able to release any potential.
What I've found is that dp is actually very clever and appears to pick things up very quickly and is very capable but we are stuck we can't afford training and he is working full-time so no time and I've helped apply for jobs but we are finding his cv is very tricky as hardly any work history here in the uk and no UK education.
He is never selected on any job application rejection after rejection and he is 46 now.
His current employer is so happy with him thinks he's great etc but it's minimum wage and he can't increase his income or learn new things. Please go easy on me I'm upset about this.

OP posts:
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ntmdino · 05/10/2023 10:18

There are alternatives - another way to approach it would be to find a low-requirements job that has regulatory qualifications. For example, being a carer - lots of foreign-born people come into the care industry with no recognised qualifications, and the minimum requirements mean that the employer has to get them a minimum level of qualifications in maths and English (as well as a few industry-specific accreditations). He just has to stick in the job for a year, and then he comes out with a set of qualifications that he can take elsewhere.

It's not much, and it's pretty low-level, but it's a start that he may not be able to otherwise get.

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 10:19

He got his stay due to me and part of the case involved my issues.

OP posts:
Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 10:20

ntmdino
I totally agree

OP posts:
IslaWinds · 05/10/2023 10:21

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 10:14

talknomore
His English is good

Does he have a IELTS test result? He should have done one for his visa, he can list that on his CV to show his proficiency in English. Perhaps spell out International English Language Testing System (IELTS) and put in the score and band descriptor, ie score 9 expert or score 7 good

https://www.ielts.ca/take-ielts/results-and-scores/ielts-scores/

IELTS Score Explained | IELTS Band Score | British Council

All you need to know about IELTS scores. From how the IELTS band scores work to the marking criteria and how IELTS aligns with the CLB, find out more here.

https://www.ielts.ca/take-ielts/results-and-scores/ielts-scores/

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 10:21

Has I said his speaking English is good but written is a issue for him.

OP posts:
IslaWinds · 05/10/2023 10:21

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 10:19

He got his stay due to me and part of the case involved my issues.

So is it a partner visa? Is he on the ten year or five year path to ILR?

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 10:22

IslaWinds
He never had to do one for his visa not sure why.

OP posts:
Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 10:23

IslaWinds
Yes partner visa and on 10 year route but we may be able to switch to 5 year not sure yet.

OP posts:
MojoMoon · 05/10/2023 10:25

Where in the country are you located?

There are free maths courses (called Multiply) which are available to adults without GCSEs in England.

https://skillsforlife.campaign.gov.uk/courses/multiply/?gclid=CjwKCAjwvfmoBhAwEiwAG2tqzJHQb2xrUyBmLvccav8EVsloEZn0wOW0vOrI48f3hznG5Jzap3bjnBoCeR8QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

If he left school at 14 in a poor country then his formal education is not likely to have reached GCSE level so while you think he is clever, he all likely have missed out on a lot of functional maths skills

Also funded training in English,.maths and IT skills for low paid employed:
https://functionalskillsuk.co.uk/aeb-employed/
He needs to have been in the UK for three years - not clear if legally or irregularly counts. Assume from the fact he got work permission last year that his immigration status was irregular before that?

Multiply - Skills for Life

Multiply is a free numeracy skills programme for adults without GCSE maths, including free courses, on-demand tutorials and support.

https://skillsforlife.campaign.gov.uk/courses/multiply?gclid=CjwKCAjwvfmoBhAwEiwAG2tqzJHQb2xrUyBmLvccav8EVsloEZn0wOW0vOrI48f3hznG5Jzap3bjnBoCeR8QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

IslaWinds · 05/10/2023 10:26

Hm. He can still take an IELTS test and adding that score to his CV is a way to communicate he is good in English.
https://takeielts.britishcouncil.org/united-kingdom

You sort of have to counter every prejudice enployers might have.

IslaWinds · 05/10/2023 10:28

Desperatetime · 05/10/2023 10:23

IslaWinds
Yes partner visa and on 10 year route but we may be able to switch to 5 year not sure yet.

Yes, he can switch to 5yr route if the minimum income requirement is met by you or him. However, when you switch the clock starts at 5yrs, you can’t count time already spent on the 10yr route towards the 5yrs.

NorthCliffs · 05/10/2023 10:28

OP, I can feel the pressure you're under. You don't have to stay in any relationship that isn't working for you.

Alwaysoneoddsock · 05/10/2023 10:30

Companies like McDonalds and KFC can offer schemes to help people with limited qualifications access opportunities. They might have something to offer your DH.

IslaWinds · 05/10/2023 10:31

NorthCliffs · 05/10/2023 10:28

OP, I can feel the pressure you're under. You don't have to stay in any relationship that isn't working for you.

? Wtf? It’s not the relationship that is the problem, it’s the hostile environment towards immigrants that is the problem.

Milliondollars · 05/10/2023 10:31

Can he do some evening/night shift/weekend work to supplement his income? Does he drive and have a vehicle? Could he do deliveries or security or warehouse work?

androidnotapple · 05/10/2023 10:35

He needs to give his relatives notice that he can't send them money qny more and put that money into some training

Normalsizedsalad · 05/10/2023 10:37

Op you posted before didn't you. He didn't have papers, was acting as your carer etc.
Am I right?
He can get on many courses even if he doesn't have recourse to public funds. There are charities for immigrants which can help.

Nevermind31 · 05/10/2023 10:38

I mean, he can’t really afford the relative back home. It is not like his financial situation is better; at the moment relative doesn’t have to try to sort out themselves (unless it is his child, then of course he has to support).
but otherwise… unless he works on his qualifications and builds his cv, it is not going to change.

Robinni · 05/10/2023 10:40

Speak to student finance, query his eligibility. He may become eligible if you marry, for instance.

With regard to your income, only your income as spouse/partner would be taken into account. Anything he earns on the side during holidays (3 months where he could work 40hr wks + overtime) and term time (15-20hrs) is not counted.

If one or other of you is disabled in some respect the money will be more.

You might actually find his income as a student who works on the side of this is much more than a minimum wage job.

He would never have to pay it off unless he earns over a certain amount and even then the amount is minuscule.

It’s a no brainer, could even be done online!

The only tricky part would be doing an access to Uni course first, which is usually in person and funding not as generous. However, you can do this part time 6hrs a wk night or day.

IslaWinds · 05/10/2023 10:42

Oh, on the no recourse to public funds as that is the case for partner visas.

This is the list of which benefits are considered public funds. It’s not all of them, and the free courses I linked are not considered public funds.

https://www.nrpfnetwork.org.uk/information-and-resources/rights-and-entitlements/benefits-and-housing-public-funds/benefits/benefits-that-are-public-funds#guide-content

Make a note that if his company does shut or he is made redundant he CAN apply for new style JSA as that is a contribution based benefit, it is not a means tested (public funds) benefit. So his visa allows it.

Benefits that are public funds | NRPF

Benefits that a person with no recourse to public funds cannot claim

https://www.nrpfnetwork.org.uk/information-and-resources/rights-and-entitlements/benefits-and-housing-public-funds/benefits/benefits-that-are-public-funds#guide-content

QueenOfTheLabyrinth · 05/10/2023 10:58

Have you considered McDonalds OP? If your partner is willing to put the work in, they have clear progression routes and learning opportunities available which will allow him to gain qualifications and rise through the ranks. Their training programmes are actually quite respected in the hospitality industry. They’re also very open to hiring from a range of backgrounds and there are no minimum qualifications needed to start with them; it will be bloody hard work but might be worth considering.

1month · 05/10/2023 10:59

Can you be more specific on what job he does/what his skill set is?

Has he always worked in the same field?

Unfortunately, so many more of places are wanting qualifications now.

I was working as supply at my old workplace for over a year and did a great job at it.
The person who I was covering didn’t return and her job was advertised.
I applied and everyone said how pointless it was because I was obviously going to get the job.
But I didn’t get the job because my GSCE’s that I took when I was 16 weren’t great ( we were homeless due to DV and my mum had MH issues) even though as and adult I’d done a college course to get better grades, did a university course and then my teacher training.

If I was DH I would try and move up within a company.

Even things like Aldi and McDonald’s have good prospects because you can move up the ranks.

He may never earn over £30k but that is common for the majority of people but if you can both aim to eventually earn £20k+ each then you’ll have a combined income of £40k which is a great income.

1month · 05/10/2023 11:01

The only tricky part would be doing an access to Uni course first, which is usually in person and funding not as generous. However, you can do this part time 6hrs a wk night or day.

I did an access course and got funding which got wiped if you went onto to uni.

It was 2 days a week and aimed at mature students.

I can’t remember if you needed certain qualifications to get into it though.

MariaLuna · 05/10/2023 11:15

He needs to give his relatives notice that he can't send them money qny more and put that money into some training

Yes, in theory but that's not how it works in those countries.

We live in a society of individuals. In those places society is a collective. Family always help each other out.
It's called survival.

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