My daughter overheard another parent commenting negatively on other players in sport team

[Guiltridden12345]

My daughter is in a sports team where the standard is incredibly (unusually) high. She has only played a couple of years so isn’t that good but loves it. There’s a noticeable divide between the girls who are really good and those who aren’t - think mean girl shit - and the club has tried to address that. The coaches are amazing.

At a match recently, my daughter was on the sidelines and heard a mum of one of these girls saying ‘x needs to come off, they can’t play and y can, why is she on the pitch’. She was also approaching the coach about tactics. She doesn’t play the sport herself. I messaged the coach after to say what DD* had heard as I felt it was inappropriate. I’ve heard nothing back. Aibu to send a chaser saying ‘id really like to know what you think?

I don’t think parents should be allowed to watch if they try to get involved in coaching or slagging off players, but I’m not sporty and wonder if this is normal. Aibu?

MNHQ EDITED CHILD'S NAME

Wow ……. Your comment has just highlighted what is wrong with people - the ‘shit’ players! I do hope you’re being sarcastic in your comment by I suspect you’re not 😢
They’re a team and ALL deserve to play, they all pay fees, work hard, attend training and possibly use this time to enjoy teamwork and making friends.
Most grassroots coaches/managers are volunteers who do an awful lot of behind the scenes stuff so your kids can enjoy playing their sport not to have parents like you be so condescending of other CHILDREN.

Well done him, the FA are trying to start clamping down. I’m a volunteer comittee member of grassroots football club and we have had to warn spectators - it won’t be tolerated!
This parent certainly would be warned if heard by myself in hearing distance of others as she’s saying child x isn’t good enough so breaches our club ethics.

It's your follow-up that is weird. You did your bit in alerting the coach, who has the option of sending out a general email asking parents to be aware of what they say on the sidelines, which is probably the first step. Your follow-up sounds aggressive, as if you're stirring up trouble, or trying to provoke a reaction.

I agree with a pp that if there's such disparity of ability on the team, that investigating A and B options should numbers allow sounds like a good plan.

I agree that it's in appropriate for the parent to have been making comments like that, BUT I don't think it's something you can police such as asking her to be banned from matches.

Bigger picture I don't actually think it does our children any favours if they're completely and utterly shielded from every unpleasant thing out in the world by their parents, as they will ultimately encounter people who are unkind or thoughtless etc in life. The better lesson is as others have said is teach her to laugh it off and not notice of those kind of comments, to teach her resilience.

It's interesting how it's mostly the parents who don't seem to do any sport themselves who are the gobbiest isn't it? Living vicariously through their children. Luckily I coach a sport where most of the parents also compete and are just grateful that their kids get through a race with all their bones intact and the same amount of skin that they started off with.

I mean if the environment is too toxic for you why would you subject your child to it??