To not care about the little things that most women (and my mum) obsess about?

[KoalaChaos]

So there's some things that there is always posts about. Not just here on MN but as comedy posts and memes on platforms like Facebook that APPARENTLY as a woman I'm supposed to be infuriated by, but I just don't care.

I.e.

I live in a house where the toilet roll hasn't been properly replaced in the last 9 months.
The new roll sits on top of the holder leaning at an angle against the wall with an old cardboard tube still attached under it (there was clearly one put on at one point). I don't care though. I know women who rage and fume at the thought.
And when the roll is done, the empty tube sits on the back of the toilet and every other Wednesday we collect them all (recycling gets collected every other thursday).

And if the bed isn't made.... so what? I don't spin like a dog in the bed leaving bedding scattered everywhere. When I get out the duvet is roughly square, maybe uneven and rumpled but thats it. And when you get back in at night, your bed is designed to fit you from the night before. No shaking or jimmying the duvet to get it pulled up high enough and your pillow is still perfectly shaped to fit your head.

There's a whole collection of things like this that according to social media (and my mum) that are unacceptable but I just don't care.

Anyone else on my side here?
Or have their own things they know others go mad over that they just don't care about?

For us ironing is very depressing and a sad event because it means somone we care about has died and we are going to a funeral.

But it's also a tense topic and one that isn't allowed to be brought up at work any more. One woman I work with irons EVERYTHING, even her DD socks. She can't cope with the thought that I don't. I pointed out that I didn't iron the shirt I was wearing at the time and it's just fine and she nearly started twitching.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@KoalaChaos

Can I give you an insight into what’s going to happen in the next few years?

The most likely scenario is this one. Your child/children will get bigger. They will start adding to the little bits of chaos. The small things that don’t bother you now will start piling up and you will find that it’s only you that it’s bothering. You will gradually find yourself having to pick up more ‘bits’ daily and that’s when the veil will drop for you. You will see why ‘most women’ are seen as ‘nagging’ or ‘high maintenance’ about the little things that ‘don’t matter’. Because when it’s only you seeing the now million little ‘bits’ that need doing, your husband starts wondering where that lovely, easy going wife he married has gone. And you’ll be wondering if he was always this lazy and mess blind.

Or you both continue to ignore all the little things and your children will be posting here in a few years saying they were always embarrassed to bring friends around to their house as a kid because both their parents were lazy and folded loo rolls into each other and left them to pile up rather than put them in the recycling when leaving the bathroom….

the irony of your thread is how much time you spend discussing chores in deep details.

For someone who doesn't care, you are giving it a lot of thoughts!

Same, but I am an old gimmer, so maybe not a surprise.

Oh yuck

No! 😀

Well you’re making sweeping generalisations because I don’t think lots fi women care, and obviously you shouldn’t be comforming to something that is oppressing women or holding them to higher standards. I feel you already know the answer though so I don’t understand the song and dance about it tbh. I come from a misogynist community and I have distanced myself from the judgement, becuase I don’t agree. Same with my own mother, gone low contact because the housework is just the tip of the iceberg to the other ways they expected me to conform. I don’t waste my time thinking about it, I just wish I was tidier for myself not because I give a shit what others think. It’s very damaging imo and absolves men from doing their fair share if we tell women they should care to fit in with their community

I don't care at all, with you!

I think what you’re annoyed about is not so much that people have different priorities from you, but that your mum, who should be supportive and accepting, is nitpicking these things in your house as though you were an extension of her and ought to share her values.

I’m with you - she sounds a nightmare. And she wouldn’t be doing it to you if you were her son, I bet. She’d probably be doing it to his wife. So it is absolutely a feminist issue.

It was never going to go well asking this question in the land of daily towel laundry and zoflora, unfortunately. People don’t like it when you suggest that what they spend all day doing and thinking about isn’t important.

Isn't it ironic that all these nasty responses are so clearly from women desperate to not come across as like the women OP was describing, so they attack the OP for hitting a nerve.

Pathetic really.

OP, I'm the same. I get snide comments over my home all the time, but quite honestly could give a fuck.
It's not dirty, I'm just not bothered if it looks Instagram ready or not.

The nasty, rattled women on here can be as bitchy as they like, they're clearly just feeling attacked. Let them get on with it.

She was also excessively pointing out that my curtain poles don't have the little knobs or twirls or bits on the end that stop the last ring falling off so my curtains look broken.

Finials.

^ Yeah this. Don’t get the bitchy remarks.

Sorry OP you’d drive me insane!😕🤣 I’d be shuffling around replacing your toilet roll, recycling the empty roll, plumping your pillows and making your bed lol

You seem to have touched a nerve OP

Having a collection of toilet roll tubes for two weeks by the back of the toilet would infuriate me!

How do you clean if the empty rolls sit collecting for 2 weeks? Surely you don't take them off and put them back again?

I think the nerve OP touched was irritation about the lazy stereotyping of women and the judging of women with different standards

i’m as slovenly as they come so not offended by no ironing or loo roll not being changed - have nothing against people who iron either!!

You may not care, but others will judge you! Especially about the toilet roll. Are you just too carefree and wild child spirited not to spend five seconds taking off the old one and putting on a new one like a civilised person.

Thank you 😁
We are very much like that. We aren't dirty, just not necessarily tidy. We clean and sterilise almost everything, but those things get put down in a haphazard manner.
I keep being bought things like 'decorative tissue boxes' to keep tissues in. But... whats the problem with keeping them in the cardboard box they come in on the coffee table within reach of a sneeze?!

Wow OP rock on. Talk about sticking it to the man 🤘🏽

There are LOADS of women just like you 🙄

I did think this tbh.

I don't match socks, can't be arsed, as long as they are both clean I'm happy

This is why I buy black socks only.

They’re only made of cardboard. It’s not like OP has half a dozen breeze blocks sat in her bathroom. I should think a quick lift and clean is all that is needed.

Is this why MN doesn't answer the door to unexpected visitors?

This is quite a funny and revealing thread. A lot of female obsessions can be described as displacement activity.

What do you do, OP?