To not care about the little things that most women (and my mum) obsess about?

[KoalaChaos]

So there's some things that there is always posts about. Not just here on MN but as comedy posts and memes on platforms like Facebook that APPARENTLY as a woman I'm supposed to be infuriated by, but I just don't care.

I.e.

I live in a house where the toilet roll hasn't been properly replaced in the last 9 months.
The new roll sits on top of the holder leaning at an angle against the wall with an old cardboard tube still attached under it (there was clearly one put on at one point). I don't care though. I know women who rage and fume at the thought.
And when the roll is done, the empty tube sits on the back of the toilet and every other Wednesday we collect them all (recycling gets collected every other thursday).

And if the bed isn't made.... so what? I don't spin like a dog in the bed leaving bedding scattered everywhere. When I get out the duvet is roughly square, maybe uneven and rumpled but thats it. And when you get back in at night, your bed is designed to fit you from the night before. No shaking or jimmying the duvet to get it pulled up high enough and your pillow is still perfectly shaped to fit your head.

There's a whole collection of things like this that according to social media (and my mum) that are unacceptable but I just don't care.

Anyone else on my side here?
Or have their own things they know others go mad over that they just don't care about?

OP, HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?!

Oh wait. Your pillow exactly fits your head already. Never mind, carry on. 😃

Whilst I'd say they're more sarcastic than mean, I think they're meant as gentle humour! I also don't think it's wrong for women to defend themselves against quite a sexist post. I like the use of humour rather than outright meanness!

Literally the opposite of what they’re doing surely?

Oh I bet you’re just the easiest person going @KoalaChaos ! I bet you are happy with a milkshake from Maccys rather than a fancy restaurant, and like a night in with a film and holey pjs than dressing up and socialising, and you’d never nag about being ignored for the football or gaming, just totality chill and not fussed or contradictory about anything, just go with the flow 😊

But they’re doing so in a nasty way aren’t they? Wouldn’t it be kinder to just say - “don’t worry OP, they’re sexist stereotypes and you’re not alone in not fitting that stereotype, whatever your mum has said”.

Ah be kind I prefer sarcasm when needed !

🤣🤣

Meh. Everyone is different. My DH gets annoyed about the toilet roll stuff and I get annoyed when he throws a damp towel on the bed even though it’s on his side. He doesn’t like when I empty the dishwasher in the evenings and I don’t like him waiting until the next day when he’s been sat in the kitchen for 3+ hours and then when he does empty the dishwasher, he puts wet dishes on the already dried dishes in the dish rack instead of just emptying the dry dish rack first and then the dishwasher.

Everyone has those little things that irk them, don’t think it has anything to do with gender.

OP I couldn’t resist searching your other posts…

So you recently started your own thread asking if it was ok to stock extra food tins in a dining room cupboard. You took the time to post on a Housekeeping board. That’s surely a stereotypically ‘woman’ thing to do?

You have started a thread on how to choose a nursery. And commented elsewhere on swearing at someone taking ‘your’ parent and child space in a car park.

You seem pretty ‘normal’ to me, sorry. We all get bothered about different stuff at different times really.

I see loads of memes that don’t apply to me. Sometimes I think that people go along with what everyone else is doing and caring about because they fear being deemed weird otherwise.

Also after my afternoon being talked at by my mum, I thought I'd relax and browse some posts on MN and still ended up on a post that, from the title was unrelated, but ended up with a few hundred comments from commenters having a go at the OP there for not doing things mentioned above along with others.
And then another thread from a woman who wanted her DH to help more around the house and in her list of things 'he never helps with' was stuff like that.
Whilst there are men here on mumsnet, they are very much in the minority so I don't think it's wrong of me to assume they were predominantly women posting complaining about those things.

I like the toilet roll on the holder so that I don't knock it down the lav when I turn around in my tiny bathroom. (has happened)

I like to air the bed after I've been in it all night so that it's nice and fresh the following night.

Before now I've never thought of these things as feminist issues.

Threads are self selecting and Mumsnet isn’t representative of womankind

i found it jarring and if you had said ‘why is my mum so obsessed with these unimportant things’ you would have had a more interesting response and perhaps even proved that Mumsnet users are obsessed with these things

I don’t think it’s a woman thing, all of these things annoy DH much more than me.

Oh I didn't read the thread title properly. I understand why people are annoyed having read it but I still think the post is more about social media memes than actual other women.

Having said that though sometimes I do listen to people discussing three shades of the same blue and wonder if I'm actually colour blind because I can't tell the difference and in my bones don't give a shit. That makes me feel a bit like a freak sometimes.

Women are annoyed by these things because it's often expected that they will be the ones to sort them. In wouldn't appreciate an unmade bed being left for me to make or toilet rolls left for me to remove. But if both people are equally unbothered or equally responsible as regards dealing with those things then it's less of an issue. Women are bothered by lack of respect and the day to day small demands put on them that overtime build up and compromise our wellbeing. And it's unfair for you to dismiss women who are annoyed about that because they've a right to be annoyed by unequal division of labour in the home.

Well.

A lot of women ARE high maintenance and silly! Not just women - men too.

I have an example for you OP - my mum had some curtains made. They were a little shorter than she ideally wanted. I'd have just asked for a small discount on the price as they didn't quite meet the brief, but nope, she got them remade! They were entirely fine the way they were!

Right?! Obviously hit a nerve for many. So many things about weddings are nit worth thinking so much about as people do….

Haha

You care so little you made a post about it

I don't think it's most women who care too much about these things. It's just some women. I'm a chilled out messy person in general, so I don't hold my DH to a higher standard than I do myself 😅 Social media would have us believe that 'all the other girls' are decanting their shopping into a perfectly organised fridge and pantry. They aren't.

Surely where to store things in the house is a housekeeping question? What other board would I have posted the question on? I asked because DH had had a conversation about it and we weren't sure because it could be seen as weird just because it's food and when I looked at the list of categories it could go under on the drop down it fit best.

Picking a nursery was a genuine question and looking for advice.

As for parent and child spaces. Men absolutely should use them if they have their child with them. They have to get the pram and baby out of the car too. I class them as children's spaces. Not mum spaces.

I’m with you OP.
I see life as we are all specks on a rock here for a blip of time and these things don’t matter.
I find people who do care about these things are often uptight and get rattled about the slightest little things. The strangely angry responses you have been getting prove that.

You are unreasonable because you think you somehow deserve special attention, oh look at me I'm so special and not like other boring women at all when in fact you do sound like a boring pick-me.

I found the original post jarring, sorry, and the sarcastic responses excellent.