To not care about the little things that most women (and my mum) obsess about?

[KoalaChaos]

So there's some things that there is always posts about. Not just here on MN but as comedy posts and memes on platforms like Facebook that APPARENTLY as a woman I'm supposed to be infuriated by, but I just don't care.

I.e.

I live in a house where the toilet roll hasn't been properly replaced in the last 9 months.
The new roll sits on top of the holder leaning at an angle against the wall with an old cardboard tube still attached under it (there was clearly one put on at one point). I don't care though. I know women who rage and fume at the thought.
And when the roll is done, the empty tube sits on the back of the toilet and every other Wednesday we collect them all (recycling gets collected every other thursday).

And if the bed isn't made.... so what? I don't spin like a dog in the bed leaving bedding scattered everywhere. When I get out the duvet is roughly square, maybe uneven and rumpled but thats it. And when you get back in at night, your bed is designed to fit you from the night before. No shaking or jimmying the duvet to get it pulled up high enough and your pillow is still perfectly shaped to fit your head.

There's a whole collection of things like this that according to social media (and my mum) that are unacceptable but I just don't care.

Anyone else on my side here?
Or have their own things they know others go mad over that they just don't care about?

It’s called being a scruffbag. Me and DH are both scruffbags but we try not to be.

THIS ^
This is the most helpful reply here!
And actually explains it so my brain gets it.
DH and I are the same in our thoughts thats why.
For us the house work we do is split nicely and so there's no arguments about things not being done, and making the bed neither of us do and neither of us care.
But for me if there is something that he would normally do, that hasn't been done, then I'm not going to do it and then kick up a fuss about how I'm doing his work. It can sit there not done until he gets around to it. Same with the things I do. I.e. If I didn't have time to clean the fish tank, then I'll get to it at the weekend, I don't expect him to do it for me.

I'm another that just doesn't care. The carpets need hoovering, the sides need dusting, the bathroom needs cleaning but I spent the day in the garden instead. The garden did need doing too though. I just get round to things very slowly and don't really care in the meantime. My mum is obsessed with every small detail like yours OP, maybe that's why we've gone the other way?

I think lots of people just like the environment around them to be nice, and if nice to them means making their bed and changing the toilet roll then that’s it. I doubt it’s just a woman thing either.

I don’t think posters are being mean; the blatant stereotyping is in the thread title!

I think some women do these things so that kids see them being done and will then therefore hopefully learn good habits.
You can’t preach to a child to make their bed / tidy their room if yours is untidy

You’re such a cool girl OP 👧❄️

Or not.

I hate to break to you but most women don’t give a shit about these things. Social media isn’t real. If every other women you know does, you need to widen your social horizons.

Fair enough. Sorry for the bad title.
My collective for comparison is; my mum, SILs, the women at baby groups, the women in my department at work and people on mumsnet.
(And "the women in my department at work" is a whole other issue and management's sexist hiring practices. I work in a traditionally female dominated environment and it is a whole other battle I'm trying to fight. I technically have hiring power but every time I've tried to hire a man -and there have been some great interviews- I get over ruled by senior management and HR claiming they think somone else is better. They never give an official reason because they know it's illegal but its maddening)

I live in a house where the toilet roll hasn't been properly replaced in the last 9 months.

Was that when you replaced the Santa decorated toilet roll?

Oh, you're not like other girls. How I wish I could be like you.

But you must make the bed sometimes? I mean, how often do you change the sheets, once a week? So you ‘make the bed’ then. Doesn’t there come a point say four days in when the ridges on the bottom get a bit too pronounced…..

never mind.

if you don’t hook your curtains into the ring on the other side of the pole support, they won’t fall off. In the lack of a finial ( posh word for it) you could stick a bit of plasticine under the end ring. This also works with rails.

Just trying to be helpful here….can’t grasp the loo roll installation neglect at all, though, that’s just self defeating as it must be harder to pull a sheet off when the roll is not being held firm by internal support and gravity. And the fish agrees

I would suggest the solution to the loo roll issue is to get a loo roll holder that you just side it on and off. Super quick and makes loo roll dispensing less of a faff

I have no idea who this is and I'm torn between googling it to get the reference and not googling it based on what you have said about them...

Also just thinking that every one who uses an unfettered toilet roll handles the thing with both their bummy hands, but then the roll is handled pre wipe, so perhaps not bummy hands.

Argh, I've turned into one of 'those' women who obsess about toilet rolls.

OMG welcome to Mumsnet

Well didn't you just come here to tell us you're better?...
I've got news for you, you aren't special or one of the cool girls.
A lot of women don't give a fuck about the things you've listed.

Well for starters, OP isn’t actually worried that she ‘isn’t like other women’. The post is smug and condescending, and people tend to react to that kind of ‘pick me’ energy.

It only drives me mad when the loo roll is put on the wrong way round, and if I have to say which is the right way you are probably doing it wrong 😉

I only make the bed as it does make the room look nicer, but mainly because the dog sleeps on it if I go out and I'd rather not have her hair on the sheets.

Totally on your side OP but my husband gets his knickers in a knot if the loo roll isn't put on the holder properly 🙄

@longtompot somebody once told me that to turn the loo roll around from the 'wrong' way brings bad luck. So now if someone in the house puts one on the wrong way round I can't bring myself to turn it around and live in a toilet roll hell for a few days.

Exactly!
She keeps buying me trinket baskets and boxes and stuff like that from temu/shein because her house is full of them.
If I've got a half used strip of paracetamol thrown on the kitchen counter then it's because I've had a headache for 2 days and am going to want more in 4 hours. I didn't put it there because that's its "away". I have a medicine cupboard it lives in if its "away" and I don't want to rummage with a headache.

(But I am going to have to not do this soon when the baby is less of a baby and more of a todler so that might be a bad example)

Well it drives me mad and I don’t care who knows it.
If the empty rolls are stacked in the cistern lid for a fortnight between recycling does that mean the toilet hasn’t been cleaned for two weeks?
Make your bed stop being lazy.

I have resigned myself to living with a level of slight chaos at all times. I notice that things need doing but either I can't spare the cash for someone else to do it or the skills to do it myself. Major things get done but there's a lot of other stuff that is neglected

Wow I wish I could be just like you

Tidy house - tidy mind! If they don’t bother you that’s fine! But I get irritated by clutter - that’s fine too! My house isn’t immaculate, the garden is a friggin shit tip that resembles a children’s nursery garden - but empty loo roll holders strode around the bathroom DOES annoy me! It’s just easy to replace and put in the bin isn’t it?!