He's trying to take my children away

[Lillabetty]

I know this isn't a AIBU post but I'm desperate I need help from people that have been in my position please!!!

I need guidance and I need to be pointed in the right direction please. Is he going to take my children away from me?

I split with my emotionally abusive partner last week,(my therapist opened my eyes up to the abuse) due to tenancy and finances he's still in the family home.

I spent the last 6 years with this man and I don't want to make him instantly homeless so I've given him untill January to move out gives him enough time to save and look for places the plan is he moves out in the next 6-8 weeks, January is just a deadline.

Tonight he handed me a drawn out diagram of the "shared" 50/50 custody and in his eyes im only allowed to see my children for 1 and a half days a week.

I'm main career, their benefit money is in my name every legal paper doctors school etc im down as main career etc also I am main tenant on my home.

Hes adement that he is entitled to stay in the family home and make me homeless

Since I ended it with him he's turnt quite evil he has a way of talking to me in riddles and I get very confused.

Help me! What do I do? Where do I go tomorrow?

Well done! I pray this will be a fresh start for you and your babies

Thank you. I dont feel so great right now but I'm sure it'll start getting better soon

Well done for finally realising that by allowing him to stay in the house you were putting him 100% ahead of your children.

By getting him out of the house, you have put your children first.

He is a very bad dangerous man.

Well done.

There's a grieving process, because of what you thought your future would be like and now it's going to be different.

It's always difficult in the beginning. I think it's normal to feel sad when a relationship ends even if it was an abusive and terrible one. It's grieving the relationship you thought you were going to have. Be careful because it easy to romanticise. You need to remind yourself of the reality of the relationship. Maybe write a list of as many awful things he has done as you can and read it when you miss him or feel lonely. It does get easier.

Well done, love. Stay strong. You've got this! 💓

Well done @Lillabetty for the positive actions you've taken to keep yourself and your children safe. That won't have been easy.

From this point focus only on your and your children's well-being financially, physically and, most importantly, emotionally. Don't let him back in your/their home for any reason whatsoever and perhaps consider staying away from relationships with anyone else for the foreseeable, whilst you continue with your counselling and get yourself mentally stronger.

Wishing you a happier future. 🌹

Big big big hugs. All in time

So proud. Don't look behind you. Keep moving forward

🤗

Oh well done OP! You might not feel great right now but once everything settles and you feel safe, you will. You have done the right thing by you and your children. I hope you can rest easy and best of luck talking to the school tomorrow - remember they are there to support you and your DC.

WOW! You have come so far in such a short time OP. Well done you! Whatever you do, please DON'T weaken, you're well on your way to being free of this bullshitting monster. Take all the advice you are given by the authorities, and as long as you keep you and your kids safe and away from this man, life can only get better. He really did a number on you, and now, he's doubtless beginning to see that the authorities are on YOUR side, NOT his! Sending a big hug your way.

@Lillabetty how are you getting on?

Thank you for checking up on me!. I'm doing good thank you I'm seeing friends more, I'm back at work and recently jointed the gym. I'm still having really bad days but I think that's part in parcel of the situation. My therapist is very proud of how much I've achieved in a short amount of time but I also have a long road ahead of me.

Excellent delighted to hear that

Hes not going to get the kids. If you are on benefits or plan to be you'll get legal aid. Google family solicitors in your area. Pack his bags up, leave them on the doorstep. If he tries anything call the police. They'll advise him to leave if it gets nasty.

I've just read your updates. You need to go to a domestic violence unit. Hes controlling and an abuser. Do not do anything else face to face. You need it all in texts. Or record him if you can.

I'm SO pleased to hear that you're still doing well OP! You should be really proud of yourself, and while you may still have a long way to go, you're definitely heading in the right direction, and every day is a step further toward a better life for your and your kids. I wish you every happiness for the future.