Page 9 | As a man, should I post on MN

Dadfromthesea · 2023-10-02T09:03:33+00:00

I love the MN forums. More often than not I just read them, as they’re useful from a parenting point of view and often very funny to boot. I occasionally comment. I’ve started one thread ever, before this one. Saw a thread this morning about a perceived rise in ‘women hating’ men posting on here. I’m definitely not one of those, and would be mortified to come across as one. But before long the thread started talking about men in general, and whether or not they should be posting at all on a forum called Mumsnet that’s predominantly aimed at women. I get the need for women-only spaces, and would hate to intrude on one unintentionally. So as a man, as a dad, am I being unreasonable by posting on Mumsnet? If the consensus is that I am, then I’ll stop.

OneTC · 03/10/2023 10:29

DonnaHadDee · 03/10/2023 10:18

@OneTC (as a software developer) it's very easy to do a content analysis on a poster and determine gender. It's not 100%, but for an account with several posts over time, I'd consider it accurate (unless the poster is using tools to obfuscate)

Yeah sure, but I've posted on forums long enough to know that people go to any effort for their online persona. Some people have been running the same made up personality for decades

I would also reckon that people running analysis on people's posts would be the tiniest minority, so the deception/story works as intended

OneTC · 03/10/2023 10:32

BenedictCumberbatchstolemypenguin · 03/10/2023 10:23

I passed your message through a text gender analysing tool and it shows as male.

Show quote history

That's how yours came back too

Tavernatess · 03/10/2023 10:53

@ilovemydogmore because it was set up by mum. But it’s for parents.

it’s not anyone else’s fault you don’t critically think

Tavernatess · 03/10/2023 10:59

@ilovemydogmore do you think Ella’s kitchen is run by a 5 year old girl? Or that only girls named Ella can eat their pouches?

Rubyruby2222 · 03/10/2023 11:14

Tavernatess · 03/10/2023 10:59

@ilovemydogmore do you think Ella’s kitchen is run by a 5 year old girl? Or that only girls named Ella can eat their pouches?

Not sure your equivalence works.

I think that the average person with even the slightest bit of common sense can assume that a "Mumsnet" is a women's space.

And that Ella's Kitchen isn't for those called Ella.

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 11:16

Women just can't have nice things, can we?

ErrolTheDragon · 03/10/2023 11:18

I think that the average person with even the slightest bit of common sense can assume that a "Mumsnet" is a women's space.

Until, of course, they read the tagline 'by parents, for parents'. 🤷‍♀️

EaudeJavel · 03/10/2023 11:19

ErrolTheDragon · 03/10/2023 11:18

I think that the average person with even the slightest bit of common sense can assume that a "Mumsnet" is a women's space.

Until, of course, they read the tagline 'by parents, for parents'. 🤷‍♀️

the many childfree posters on here might also have some comments to make about that!

ErrolTheDragon · 03/10/2023 11:22

the many childfree posters on here might also have some comments to make about that!

To be sure. MN grew beyond its original scope.
And I'm sure that's in large part because, unusually, it's a predominantly female site.

Tetchypants · 03/10/2023 11:23

Feeling very sad for my friend whose wife died when their son was 2. He has struggled enough with women being unfriendly at playgroups and now in the school playground. He uses this site a lot for advice about raising a small child, and is the first to admit it doesn’t always come naturally, but he IS both mum and dad to their lovely little boy. How dare women say he shouldn’t use a parenting site.

Sexism and hate against men is just as bad as sexism and hate against women.

beastlyslumber · 03/10/2023 11:28

Sexism and hate against men is just as bad as sexism and hate against women

I agree. But I don't think it's "sexism and hate" for women to want their own space free from males. Or predominantly free from males. Most women here are married to men, many have sons, the vast majority will have men in our lives who we love and respect. But that doesn't mean we don't value a male-free space, especially when it comes to discussions of female experiences.

Rubyruby2222 · 03/10/2023 11:31

beastlyslumber · 03/10/2023 11:28

Sexism and hate against men is just as bad as sexism and hate against women

I agree. But I don't think it's "sexism and hate" for women to want their own space free from males. Or predominantly free from males. Most women here are married to men, many have sons, the vast majority will have men in our lives who we love and respect. But that doesn't mean we don't value a male-free space, especially when it comes to discussions of female experiences.

Exactly this.

It is possible to value women's spaces and not be a 'man-hater'!

Tetchypants · 03/10/2023 11:38

beastlyslumber · 03/10/2023 11:28

Sexism and hate against men is just as bad as sexism and hate against women

I agree. But I don't think it's "sexism and hate" for women to want their own space free from males. Or predominantly free from males. Most women here are married to men, many have sons, the vast majority will have men in our lives who we love and respect. But that doesn't mean we don't value a male-free space, especially when it comes to discussions of female experiences.

You cannot guarantee women only spaces online. On a site as broad as this why shouldn’t men comment about gardening, TV shows, Christmas, DIY, school policies, or parenting? They are a person not just a penis.

MatchingPendants · 03/10/2023 11:50

You cannot guarantee women only spaces online. On a site as broad as this why shouldn’t men comment about gardening, TV shows, Christmas, DIY, school policies, or parenting? They are a person not just a penis.

They usually seem to be found on the sex board. Many of them admitting they only use the sex board. And the relationship board when it's a thread about sex to mansplain things to us.

But yeah, I'm sure the gardening and parenting threads would be deserted without them. 🤣

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 11:51

@Tetchypants "Sexism and hate against men is just as bad as sexism and hate against women."

You show me examples of sexism and hate against men and I will agree with you. For clarity-disagreeing with men, or wanting women only spaces is neither sexism nor hate.

Rubyruby2222 · 03/10/2023 11:53

You cannot guarantee women only spaces online.

If it's established that some women want women only spaces, surely all good men would respect those boundaries?

Tetchypants · 03/10/2023 11:55

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 11:51

@Tetchypants "Sexism and hate against men is just as bad as sexism and hate against women."

You show me examples of sexism and hate against men and I will agree with you. For clarity-disagreeing with men, or wanting women only spaces is neither sexism nor hate.

I’m not going to show you examples, no. This site is full of women being hateful about males. The hypocrisy is astounding.

I welcome people of all ages, races and sexes and do not give a damn what they are. If they have a valid contribution to make on this forum, the more the merrier.

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 12:10

@Tetchypants "I’m not going to show you examples, no. This site is full of women being hateful about males. The hypocrisy is astounding."

Ah. A "do your own research" person. Right. If the site is full of it, it should be easy to find some. Otherwise your post can safely be disregarded as the nonsense it is.

Tetchypants · 03/10/2023 12:15

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 12:10

@Tetchypants "I’m not going to show you examples, no. This site is full of women being hateful about males. The hypocrisy is astounding."

Ah. A "do your own research" person. Right. If the site is full of it, it should be easy to find some. Otherwise your post can safely be disregarded as the nonsense it is.

I’m not arguing with you, I don’t need to do research to justify my opinion, and neither do you. It is ok to disagree, no?

I can’t wait for the day this site becomes ParentsNet.

Tetchypants · 03/10/2023 12:18

Rubyruby2222 · 03/10/2023 11:53

You cannot guarantee women only spaces online.

If it's established that some women want women only spaces, surely all good men would respect those boundaries?

It’s “by parents, for parents” so no I don’t think any good parent should feel they have to leave.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/10/2023 12:23

Rubyruby2222 · 03/10/2023 11:53

You cannot guarantee women only spaces online.

If it's established that some women want women only spaces, surely all good men would respect those boundaries?

You'd have thought.

giggle is an app 'made by women for women', I'm not sure what's happening with it now (I don't use it, one SM platform is enough for me, but perhaps some on this thread might be interested in trying it) but I think it's having problems trying to make that work in practice.

SpicyTomatos · 03/10/2023 12:24

Depressing thread for 2023.

Perhaps @MNHQ could provide some clarity.

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 12:26

@Tetchypants "I’m not arguing with you, I don’t need to do research to justify my opinion, and neither do you. It is ok to disagree, no?"
Of course you don't need to do research to justify your opinion. But you stated AS FACT that "this site is full of women being hateful about men." And that you do have to justify.

WomanHereHear · 03/10/2023 12:27

Don’t see any man hating here. Saying ‘LTB’ seems to have gained a bad rep but I’ve only ever see it used when it’s justified, which is very often seeing as women are conditioned to take shit from men so it’s great that there are women on here that can say that but then so many want to silence even that because of ‘man hating’.

if this forum was meant to be mixed it would not have been called mumsnet but everyone net or an inclusive term along those lines, why has a title so exclusive. Obviously what’s happened is women made this forum great, lots of different topics which show that women are more than just clearing up vomit and cooking etc but really intelligent, obv we know this but now there is written evidence to show it and guess what, men want to take some credit by joining it too as though there contributions are on the same level. But like a pp said men always infiltrate women’s spaces and can’t respect them, especially if they are successful spaces. Why don’t men go ask questions in men’s forums because they prefer women to do the mental labour for them or they like the attention they get. Nothing wrong with men being on here despite there being Dadsnet too which doesn’t seem very busy surprise surprise. If this space started off all inclusive it wouldn’t be what it is today imo.

WomanHereHear · 03/10/2023 12:28

*their