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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids Football sideline spat

230 replies

Lionessmummy · 01/10/2023 19:27

OK- this is my first post so please be gentle.

My 8 year old DS is passionate about football. It's not just a hobby It's a passion. I fully support him and take him to training, extra practice, matches etc... It's very much become our bond which we both love.

I would also like to add that academically my DS doesn't excel, he sits and watches all the other kids at school get certificates for maths, spellings, star of the week which he accepts no problem because his goal is to get player of the match on a Sunday.

This weekend I had a little spat on the sideline with another parent because I was encouraging my DS and he thought I was acting more like a coach rather than a parent? I was telling my son to keep on his toes, keep his chin up, keep moving into space etc.. all which my son loves and appreciates. He said I was bang out of order and should let the coaches do the talking. He said they are all playing for fun and should be enjoying the game (which I don't dispute) but my son wants to win, wants to compete and wants to achieve. Is my son wrong in wanting to win?

AIBU to think who the f**k do you think you are?

I absolutely love my football weekends with my son but this has really made me not want to be part of this team.

OP posts:
snoooom · 02/10/2023 12:52

You've done the right thing by speaking to the coaches.
Have you read the FA "respect" rules that all parents have to sign when their child joins a club? If you did, you'll see that you shouting comments to your child is not acceptable.
There are many reasons why I don't like watching my children play football and parents like you are one of them I'm afraid.

Let the coaches do the coaching.

snoooom · 02/10/2023 12:54

Oysterbabe · 02/10/2023 11:25

My son's football team has a silent sidelines rule. The only thing you are allowed to do is clap and cheer when ANY child does well, not just your own. Coaching is definitely not allowed. We still had a dad screeching 'come on, find space, get into them!' at his kid during a match once. Every person there thought he was an idiot and the coach did tell him to shut up.

Enjoy the matches, clap and cheer. Otherwise, shut up. No one wants to hear it.

I would love this!

GodDammitCecil · 02/10/2023 15:15

EaudeJavel · 02/10/2023 11:57

Picture it, you are 8 years old, in the middle of a match. You have team mates shouting, coach shouting, and random parents screaming on the side at the same time " go right, go left, go forward, go back" and parents from the opposite team shouting the complete opposite instructions, all at the same time😂

You are too little to tell them to shut the fuck up, but HOW is any parent thinking they are helpful?

So much this ^^

@Lionessmummy - the only reason reason what you’re doing is allegedly OK, or ‘working’ is because you’re the only parent (or one of very few) doing it.

If literally every parent of both sides was yelling instructions at their kid from the sidelines, do you think it would be effective?

Do you think it would get results?

Do you think it would be in the best interests of the two teams?

Everyone else is foregoing what you’re doing (coaching their kid from the sidelines) to enable you to do it.

Do you think that’s fair? Do you get any insight now into why the other parent was so annoyed with you?

I don’t understand how anyone who even vaguely understands the game, or sports in general, could possibly think 22 parents yelling conflicting information at the field could possibly be helpful.

Puffalicious · 02/10/2023 16:10

EaudeJavel · 01/10/2023 22:21

It's to plaster social media with photos of the ASTONISHING future Messi and boast about a kid doing what the parents never managed to achieve.

Same parents whose kids changing team the way all do, is painted as having been "signed" for being the start of the century.😂

Show quote history

Oh God- this!

I took both my boys out of a Sunday football training -fun thing- many years ago due to absolute nightmares like the OP.

Now 19 &17 they've loved rugby for 13 years, play for the love (and are both good players, but that's second ary) & there's no parental shit in the rugby community. There's prizes for team spirit in the junior leagues, and it's very much pitched as a community we're all invested in.

Both have now gone on to coach - younger players & in Camp America- because they were coached properly themselves & grew up respecting the game & everyone in it. OP you have a lot to learn from the rugby community.

bellamountain · 02/10/2023 17:27

@Soontobe60 not sure how my comment comes across as snobby? It's an observation from my experience. I am working class, always will be so certainly not being snobby about it. I admit I find the club my DS plays for a bit odd, in that parents are not allowed to say anything at all. It kind of lacks atmosphere but on the flip side no parent should be shouting at their child.

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