Not giving DS advance on pocket money

[bizzybeing]

DS (10) gets £5 per month pocket money. There's nothing he needs to buy with it, just fun stuff he wants. I try not to tell him what he can and can't spend it on but once it's gone, it's gone.

Yesterday DS saw a book he really wants on a really good offer but he was £1 short. I agreed that I would buy the book so he didn't miss the offer but that he would have to wait to have it until he's saved up the full amount. DH thinks I should let him have it now.

It'll be 2 weeks until he gets his next pocket money and can buy it off me.

So AIBU?
Yes - give him the book now, he can pay the extra £1 later
No - he needs to learn to budget for things he wants

It's a book and it's £1. Just give him it.

Give him a small job to do to earn the £1 if you really have to.

YABU!

I’ve always encouraged my kids to read, so look to buy them books most times we have a day out shopping and would be thrilled if my kids wanted to spend their pocket money on a boom so would have just given the £1 or bought the book myself. But we are all different and have different spending limits.

Could he do some chores to earn the £1?

YABU. Wow, I'm horrified that you are withholding a book! A book!! £5 per month is a pittance if your DS is expected to buy his own books with it. He's only getting £5 a month and has chosen to spend it on a book! I think not giving him the book now is just plain mean! This is not a good lesson imo.

It's not a terrible principle insofar as it safeguards you against the trap of backing down whenever your child tantrums thus encouraging them to turn into monsters who never take no for an answer. But you need some nuance.

£5 a month and he has to buy his own books?! YABU

Also, I voted YABU, but not to take the bloody pound off him! Just give him the book and apologise for being so bloody tight! This is the most annoying AIBU I have ever read!

I'm another one who think books should not come out of pocket money. I would always pay for books myself to encourage reading!
So I'd have treated him to the book or at least paid the extra £1 if he really wanted to buy it himself.
Doing an extra job? In my house everyone contributes to the chores as part of a being family and no one gets paid for it.
Just give him the book!

I would've bought him the book and made him save his money. It's a book!

I'm glad you asked on here OP, so you can see how unreasonable you are being. Just buy him the book!

I think it sounds fair. Waiting two weeks to read a book won’t kill him.

You must be as tight as the OP then! 'Ducks arse' springs to mind 🤣

No idea if I’m “tight” or not but I don’t really see the point in giving pocket money and then just topping it up when they want something more expensive. Why bother with the pocket money then? I don’t spend an enormous amount myself though so perhaps you’re right.

£5 a month is a TINY amount.

I was getting £5 a week at that age! And that was in the mid-90s, and we weren't wealthy by any stretch of the imagination!

My kids got £5 per week at that age and moved up to £10 per week when started secondary school. I would increase your pocket if you could possibly afford to and also pay weekly.

@zingally I got £5 a term!

£5 is little over £1 a week, and the lad has chosen to spend that on a book! I think you’re being ridiculous over a pound.

Or give him the chance to top by paying him to do washing or or tidying his room or something. Obviously ignore me if you on super tight budget...

What do you expect your children to buy with £40 a month?

Give him the book, double the pocket money.

Is this real

5 pound a month is not enough to buy anything and why would you not just buy him the book

I don't think books should come out of a pocket money budget, especially one so small. If he is going to be using his budget for books ( which is awesome) I'd minister doubling his pocket money. Encouraging a love of reading is one of the biggest gifts you can give a child.

This, absolutely.

And why so stingy with the pocket money, is money tight? If not, you really ought to look at increasing it. It's been 25 years since I was 10 and even back then I was getting £10/week which I earned by doing chores etc. I was also never expected to buy my own books, and so I devoured them and ultimately did a degree and masters in literature 🤷‍♀️

You're sending the wrong message.

He does love reading already and libraries are available or saving up for books you particularly want.

Everyone's saying £5 a month is not much, my kids are older (13 and 15) and get £6 and £8 a month. But they have literally nothing they need to spend on. If they want to go to cinema etc I'd give them money for that, I buy them necessary clothes, books, anything they need for their hobbies eg hockey shoes, and pay for their activities. If I gave three kids £10 a month each that's £360 a year down the drain. I'd rather put that towards a holiday!