Not giving DS advance on pocket money

[bizzybeing]

DS (10) gets £5 per month pocket money. There's nothing he needs to buy with it, just fun stuff he wants. I try not to tell him what he can and can't spend it on but once it's gone, it's gone.

Yesterday DS saw a book he really wants on a really good offer but he was £1 short. I agreed that I would buy the book so he didn't miss the offer but that he would have to wait to have it until he's saved up the full amount. DH thinks I should let him have it now.

It'll be 2 weeks until he gets his next pocket money and can buy it off me.

So AIBU?
Yes - give him the book now, he can pay the extra £1 later
No - he needs to learn to budget for things he wants

Oh the poor little bugger, you meany!!!

If it was for sweets or plastic tat then I'd make him save up but not for a book! Plus, you've already bought it so that's mean to make him wait for it.

Maybe think about paying him weekly so that he doesn't have to wait weeks to save up for things. Or if you want to be a complete stickler, just bargain it off with a little household chore. Be thankful he likes books!

Five pound a month is fine if that's all you can afford, but it's not very much these days.

And he wants a book - I don't think that should come from pocket money.

you could have asked him to do a little job to ‘earn’ the extra £1

This. If it’s the principle of saving up/only buy what you can afford you want to encourage, then let him ‘earn’ extra too.

This! Excellent idea.
If it was sweets or toys, a definite no no. But a boy being interested in a book - that is cause for celebration OP.

Also agree £5 is very low for a 10 year old. Mine gets £10 /month and she's with her dad nearly half the time .

Why does a 10 year old need pocket money?

Yabu

It's a book not sweets or crap.
I would have just bought the book and be thankful he is reading and not playing on electronics.

You wouldn’t just give him a pound? I’m all for teaching budgeting and saving but if my DC wanted a book over some random plastic toy I’d give them the pound

Why does a 10 year old need pocket money?

So they can buy themselves things? Magazines, toys, sweets, games?

It's very normal for 10yo's to have pocket money.

It teaches them the cost of things.

It gives them a little bit of independence to buy something we might think is a waste of money but that is important to them.

It helps them learn about budgeting and saving up.

for me though, the independence is the main thing. Everyone, even little children, should have a tiny bit of money they are free to spend as they wish (within reason).

Why does a 10 year old need pocket money?

So they have money that I’m not in control of, and can buy things that they want that I might think is a waste of money but that they would enjoy. To learn the value of money, and to make choices about how they use it. To learn to budget and save for things they really want? To have a little bit of financial freedom? Why on Earth wouldn’t you give pocket money if you could afford it?

£5 per month is really low. £1 is a can of pop.
It's a book encourage them just give them it.

YABVVU

its £1, it’s book not some crap

tbh I would have just bought it for him. Stop being so bloody mean

Is it just me who’d make him wait, on principle now I’ve said that’s what I’d do?

Part of raising a child and preparing them for adulthood includes educating them on how to manage money. The schools do not teach it. He is almost old enough to have his own bank account, cash card and online banking. It is my firm view that pocket money is how you train your child the basic concepts of budgeting, saving and giving to charity. They cannot learn the value of money, or how to price compare, do research on quality and so on if you buy everything they need.

Doesn't he have money left over from Christmas or Birthday money ? By the way, i think you are doing the right thing, he needs to learn to live within his means after all it is a valuable life skill that many don't seem to have.

I wouldn’t make him wait for a book, but I wouldn’t expect him to buy a book out of his pocket money so I’m not the right person to ask.

More generally I’ve been known to top up my DSs savings if he’s very close to the amount he needs to buy the thing he’s saving for. He’ll save for months to buy something special - I look at the last £10/20 as interest and will give him it to get to the final amount he needs.

I wouldn’t. Being able to admit a mistake to your child and change your mind is a sign of maturity and fosters a good relationship with your child. It does no good for children to maintain the pretence of even when I’m wrong, I’m right as being “on principle”.

Agreed. Its so important we teach children that we are able to listen to them and change our minds if we realise we have got things wrong.

YABU.

Give him the book.

Most people have concerns about children, especially boys not reading. Encourage it.

Give him the option to do a chore and earn the £1. Then let him have the book.

What is your thought process with the £5 a month? What’s the aim?

As others have said, if it’s all you can afford, then fine, but I’m not sure that £5 per month really is teaching him to budget. I suspect at that rate, you’ll still end up buying things for him that he could have made choices about himself.

Mine both get £5 a week from their grandmother. I think this is possibly too generous, but that’s a whole different thread. What’s interesting is the thought processes they have developed about it. One saves theirs for months/years and then buys something big (a switch!) The other likes the freedom to be able to buy himself a can of pop or an ice cream at times when I’m not buying. Both of them know that I will buy the basics (eg squash at home, a single cone on holiday) but if they want ‘better’ things (a can of pop, a double cone or a flake) then they have to pay for it.

He’s 10.
You are quibbling over £1 with a child.
He has demonstrated he loves reading.

YABVVU.

I see that you are trying to build good money habits, which is great, but this isn’t one to battle.

This is so mean, I'm astounded.
You should be thrilled that your son wants to spend his money on a book. In actual fact unless you are really really really struggling, you should have bought the book for him.
I think you might be teaching him to be very mean with his money as well. This has made me really sad actually!