PLEASE Stop shaming me for breastfeeding

[thisbetheverse]

15 month old daughter, genuinely get some sort of judgemental comment every week. Why is it like that? It’s literally what breasts are made to do!

today it was from a teenager! A 17 year old. I’ve had family members, mum friends, school friends, complete strangers, people I work with all make the same comments ‘oooo STILL?’ ‘When are you stopping!’ ‘You poor thing’

has anyone got any tips on how to respond? I plan to breastfeed until she’s 2 but have started just saying to people I’m stopping soon just to move the conversation along. But then I’m left feeling like I should be ashamed.

I'm keen to hear from those on the camp of ew it’s gross after 1 year old too - please can you explain why and how it makes you feel? Also is this a British thing?

even partner thinks it’s weird!

'i find it amazing how interested people are in my tits'.

With pointed glare.

so strange. i breastfed until just over 2 and never had one negative comment. in fact i often wished someone would because i had my whole script ready on why it was still beneficial at that age 😂 just tell them WHO guidelines recommend extended breastfeeding etc

I breastfed both of mine till they were 3 and a half. When people asked "omg, how long are you going to keep doing that??!", I'd reply "I don't know, but every time someone asks me that I add on a month.

Well done for keeping going. I'm sorry you're getting comments like this, it says a lot about their lack of understanding.

How do they all know? Are you breastfeeding at work?

I breastfed for years more than that, I'd love to know what they thought of me

I need to try a firm approach like that! @gamerchick

@satellitesunshine i can’t believe you had no comments that’s amazing - clearly you are surrounded by some lovely people who respect your personal decisions

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal that’s so lovely you did it until 3, the only reason I’m stopping at 2 is everyone’s opinions, as I can’t use the line of ‘the world health organisation says till at least 2’. But I love the line you used haha may have to try that one!

The old mumsnet favourite of ‘did you mean to be so rude?’ I really do think most are just saying it for something to say as they really really won’t care whether you are breastfeeding or not or how old your child is unless they are really invested in your life and even then probably not.

Thats so strange I'm sorry you're dealing with this!! I fed dd1 to 18m dd2 to 4 and dd3 is still going at 3. Genuinely never had a disparaging comment other than from my exs weird sister. Maybe I'm scary or maybe people round here are less judges. Maybe both!

Never had any comments about breastfeeding. I breastfed DD1 until age 3.5, DD2 is 17m and am still breastfeeding. Tbh once the DCs were over 12m I was mainly breastfeeding at home morning and bedtime, so very few people are aware. I'm also in London where I've found people are chilled about it, and lots of places have private spaces for it.

Don't let other people make you stop if both you and your child want to continue.

@WillowCraft with friends and family etc it’s because they see me do it, with work it’s because they were having a boozy night and I said I couldn’t have too many because breastfeeding

If you keep on apologetically telling people that you’re stopping soon then you’re giving the impression that you’re breastfeeding reluctantly and not really enjoying it - hence the “you poor thing” type comments. Just tell them you don’t know when you’ll stop but you presume sometime before your kid’s a teenager.

You are surrounded by absolutely ignorant cockwombles who are way too invested in your breaststroke and your choices.

Please don't stop because of them.

I only managed to feed my second, and only for a few months.

Ah love to hear you are still going!
I had my first on 2014 and really tapped into the breastfeeding groups on Facebook (breastfeeding older babies) which was great for advice and support. I do think things have become very anti breastfeeding since then, which is a shame.
Don't feel you need to answer questions or remarks, remember it's your precious bf relationship with your dc, no one's business.

I fed DD till nearly 2, & DS till just after 1 (both self-weaned) & never had any comments. But as PP said by then I was only really feeding at home so very few people saw me & I could skip a feed if needed.

it’s really encouraging to hear people doing it after 2, I had a friend say recently it would ‘definitely be weird’ to do it over 2. She is a good (and otherwise lovely) friend.

people seem to genuinely feel sorry for me about it and that I should ‘get my boobs back’

Mate mine’s 3.5 and I promise you he has no intention of stopping until possibly he goes to university, and even then I’m worried he’ll
opt to live at home.

The only time I ever had a comment it was a ‘thank heavens’ from my manager who’d spotted my pregnancy/breastfeeding vitamins when we were knee deep in a one year project. I think you’re rather unlucky there, OP.

Don’t tell them you’re stopping soon, don’t stop at 2 unless you or your child want to. I fed DD till 3.5 when she self weaned and I was pregnant so that might have stopped it anyway.

The only person who ever commented had been weird about me feeding at all, her issues not mine!

Your breasts, your baby, your choice. Stop giving a shit about what anyone else thinks. You’re doing a great job.

I can only assume that some people think you don’t want to breastfeed hence why the ‘oh poor you’ comments. Some people assume that mum’s are only happy to breastfeed their children when they’re little babies and not when toddlers.

I have no clue what your response could be but it sounds awful

Ah I didn’t know those groups existed, I will check them out as none of my nct group are breastfeeding so I have no mum friends in the same situation @PangramAddict

@ComtesseDeSpair thank you I hadn’t thought of that but I think you might be right here!

i'd never be so rude as to say anything but ,yes ,the older the child gets the more the yuck factor comes up for me...generally as soon as the kids is able to put the boob in their mouth themselves!

I fed until 21 months but honestly not in public once he was walking, from about 14 months. He just had a quick feed in the morning and the evening. He was just as happy with a snack at that age if we were out and about so there was no reason to be faffing about in cafés any more.

Personally I find it uncomfortable but that’s literally my personal preference (I BF mine until she was 12 months ish). If you asked me why I find it uncomfortable I honestly wouldn’t be able to tell you why.

However I would never make a comment to another mum about her choices. I think it’s a very personal choice and you should do whatever you feel best. Don’t stop just because other people make you feel uncomfortable. It’s completely natural