PLEASE Stop shaming me for breastfeeding

[thisbetheverse]

15 month old daughter, genuinely get some sort of judgemental comment every week. Why is it like that? It’s literally what breasts are made to do!

today it was from a teenager! A 17 year old. I’ve had family members, mum friends, school friends, complete strangers, people I work with all make the same comments ‘oooo STILL?’ ‘When are you stopping!’ ‘You poor thing’

has anyone got any tips on how to respond? I plan to breastfeed until she’s 2 but have started just saying to people I’m stopping soon just to move the conversation along. But then I’m left feeling like I should be ashamed.

I'm keen to hear from those on the camp of ew it’s gross after 1 year old too - please can you explain why and how it makes you feel? Also is this a British thing?

even partner thinks it’s weird!

I fed son until he was 3.5.
If anyone gave a shit they didn't tell me about it.

@CowboyJoanna Shitting is not the same as eating. I eat in public. My babies ate in public. I wouldn’t have denied my toddler comfort from breast feeding to save the feelings of an adult.

If the people asking drink cow boob milk (made to feed baby calves) then they are massive hypocrites!

It’s not about breasts being seen as a sexual plaything it’s about a child’s autonomy and healthy boundaries.

I’m still going at nearly 2. I get the comments. I think it’s because my toddler is huge and it probably looks strange to some people who associate bf with babies. I want to stop because I’ve got to the point i want to and I think my daughter isn’t as bothered either.

I'm bf my 6 month old currently. I don't enjoy it. I would probably inadvertently appear to have pity for someone doing it past one as I'd assume they feel the same as me.

I’ve breastfeed all of mine til around 4. I didnt get many comments. A GP said something once and I said the World Health Organisation says til 2 and beyond.
Strangers and colleagues should have a short response along the lines of none of your business.

I breastfeed my almost 3 year old - I’ve never had a negative comment. I’ve had friends or family ask when I’ll stop (believe me I wish it had stopped - easier said than done!!) but not in a negative way, just general curiosity. That’s rubbish that you have shitty people around you that make these comments. You’re doing a great job and keep going for as long as makes you happy!

The who recommend breastfeeding for as long as possible as they are giving advice globally, especially to counties like Africa and Yemen where the children do not have always have access to a healthy nutritional diet, clearly breastfeeding is best for them. It’s weird why rich western women would jump on that and apply the advice to their own very well fed children 🤷🏼‍♀️

My DS is 19 months and I'm lucky not to have had any negative comments (apart from my mum asking if there's even milk still in there!) I didn't plan to bf for as long but once I read into all the benefits I haven't felt a need to stop. I taught my DS the sign for milk so rather than him saying anything out loud he just makes the sign and I know what he wants.
For some reason society has no qualms with our kids drinking the milk from another animal but think it's creepy and weird that they would drink the milk our own bodies make especially for them. Our own milk changes fat content and nutritional values for what our LO individually needs. Our mammary glands can also detect if our LO has a virus (it's thought that it's detected through saliva) and will start producing the antibodies needed for fighting that virus. I think like a PP said, breasts have been sexualised so much in the UK that this overrides the amazing purpose of them. There are so many fascinating facts about breast milk that just aren't shared.
I agree with the FB groups mentioned, they're really helpful and also the breast feeding mentor on Instagram shares lots of interesting facts.
Apparently we're one of the countries with the lowest bf rates in the world and elsewhere it would be very unusual not to bf after 2.

I’m breastfeeding my toddler, I haven’t had any negative comments from strangers and I have fed DC on several flights in the last month (some business,
some economy), on airports, on trains, in shopping centres, cafes, fancy restaurants, park benches, and anywhere else we happen to be.

I’ve had a few negative comments from family and told them I will stop when DC wants to.

One colleague asks me even though I don’t discuss it at work but I think it’s curiosity, I don’t get any negative vibes from her. She asks lots of other questions too, maybe she is comparing experiences in a clumsy way.

Stop if you want to but I think to stop because of other people would be a real shame.

Because breast milk is food and poo is waste. Do you eat your sandwiches sat in a public toilet?

I wouldn't say anything to somebody ever because it's their business. but older toddlers being breastfed is just gross. You did ask.

I think honestly it's for comfort at that age , nutritionally they're eating full meals so feed them healthy food, but it's like a toddler with a dummy there's no need and lots of other ways to comfort child then suck body parts. If you enjoy it jeep going and ignore others though uts your child. I do also think lots of mums do ut because they know its a good thing for babies but can be not enjoyable so it may be almost pity comments that you're still doing it- obviously though you enjoy ut otherwise wouldn't do it- say that!

@Lastchancechica I agree

‘The NHS recommendation is to
breastfeed until 2. Please stop making me uncomfortable for following my medic’s advice’ … is what I’d say

OP please disregard current guidance from both the NHS and WHO to breastfed infants until 2.

@Iammetoday off the internet knows better

Well, they are able to do that from birth, so you might want to re-think your strange criteria.

I would tell them that they're still breastfeeding now!!!! Most people on here are still drinking the breast milk of a cow, intended for a baby cow but ingested by grown arse adults.

The most natural milk in the world for your child is the milk you produce. Why do people think its rank to drink milk from their mother, but it's perfectly acceptable to drink another mammals milk and switch it over to that asap... totally fucked up. Your milk provides immune boosts and has great nutritional value, it also does not contain cows faeces, blood and pus.

Tell these people that you'll wean your kid when they wean themselves. Judgemental, ignorant, uneducated idiots. And as your best friend, what an arsehole.

Yeah this. Regardless of what WHO recommends a woman should be doing it’s really not essential as the majority of us know. It makes no difference. However, as a mum I would never judge or share my opinions on your body or your choices. You do you.

Tbh I've seen more formula shaming than I ever have breast feeding. I tandem fed for a year until my eldest was 2.5, although never in public after 1. Not deliberately, it just wasn't necessary.

Thank you. I had to hold my breath and post, because I don’t want to offend anyone but I had to be honest.

The reason why only close friends and family mention it to them is because they are gently saying what everyone else is thinking. It’s not right after a certain age when children can eat a balanced and nutritious diet without breast feeding to continue anyway. It becomes unhealthy and it’s obvious it is more about the mothers needs than the child’s.

I'm sorry but that is a ridiculous comparison. The need you're talking about is a baby eating. It's like eating lunch in the town square. Fair enough if you don't want to, but the implication that mums who use what their breasts are for without hiding are doing the social equivalent of shitting in public is pretty stupid.

It bothers me most that your partner is being unsupportive. That is a problem. He needs telling. Anyone else, I agree with the: "Why are you bothered about my boobs?" style comments.

It's definitely a British thing - I mean not only Britain of course, but I had DC2 and 3 in Germany and fed both past age 2, including in public, and everyone thought it was totally normal, nobody is ever even surprised if it comes up and I have NEVER been told "he's getting a bit old for that" or "you'll have to stop soon". Which were always the comments I'd get in the UK if the subject came up and most of the time I'd just lie by omission or avoid mentioning it.

In the UK I found months 12-24 the toughest because DC is old enough for people to be like "What, still??" but they are still young enough to have no discretion. Teaching nursing manners helped (no pulling at top, ask for it using a non-obvious word, accept no gracefully) but it was sooooooo much easier with the younger two where nobody gave a shit so I didn't have to.

If you can crack the nursing manners you'll find from 18 months or so people just assume you've stopped, unless they know that you were still feeding past 12m, and then they get weirdly nosey about it. You can either do a noncommittal "Yeah I expect he'll stop soon, he's only really feeding at bedtime/every now and again now." (even if this is a lie) or just go full on EBF advocate and start droning on and on about the benefits and they will decide you are a total nutter and back away and avoid the subject.