The mum didn’t remember me.

[Getfromoutmeroad]

Weird, slightly awkward incident.

Dd started school last year, I saw a few mums at pick, exchange pleasantries etc, there isn’t really a big group of mum friends there, which I’m fine with as I have my friends outside of that, most of them with kids who Dd is friends with.
Dd had her birthday party at the end of the year, I invited all the class, lots came and it was a nice day. One of the mums I’ve said hi to came, my Dd likes her son, I chatted to her at the party, offered drinks etc, she was nice but didn’t join in massively, which is fine and I totally get it.
Saw her the last few days, said hi etc, then today my Dd wants to walk out with her Ds, they walk out holding hands which was very sweet, so we start to chat and then she asks if my dd started this year or if she was in school last year 🤷🏻‍♀️I was a bit surprised and confused and said that she was here last year.
Now I’m thinking I must be so unmemorable 😂how can you literally forget a person whose party you went to
Felt so awkward

*Pick up

God, I wouldn't necessarily remember someone from that brief a meeting. I thnik you're over thinking it, it's not personal, she's probably busy.

Maybe she has memory issues? Or struggle with facial recognition? I wouldn't be too affronted.

It's easily done, I don't have a great memory for faces to begin with then add in all the things that life throws at you and I am scuppered.

Also, some people suffer with a degree of face blindness, or struggle to place people when in another context than they usually see them, which I can sympathise with, having recently failed to recognise a colleague in the shopping centre!

We have a class WhatsApp too, where I put the invite etc…I don’t know, I remember the same ones that come for pick up every day, I’m sure there are parents who come later that I’ve never seen before, but a daily thing, then a party, just felt a bit odd 🙈

I think it’s strange. She came to your DDs party and I assume from your post she must have stayed for the party. Of course she should be able to remember you. Very odd.

This is literally my life, people never remember me whilst I somehow instantly memorise every word they say )was great in school, less great now) .

I would do this and I hate it about myself, I really struggle with names and faces, I’m even worse out of context.

Oh, I'd be guilty of this. I'm terrible at remembering people, even those I've had quite long conversations with. It's honestly not a deliberate slight, nor does it mean you aren't memorable to other people, just not to people with bad facial recognition!

I might well not have recognised you as I'm not great with faces (or indeed names). But I probably wouldn't have asked you those questions, just in case I was supposed to know you and had forgotten. Sorry! 😂

@Battytwatty I find it weird also! Yes, the parents all stayed at the party. I did find it quite odd that after the party when I saw her, she wasn’t that friendly…with most people after having that ice breaker and chats etc, most would let on to you more/chat more, she didn’t and I just assumed she maybe wasn’t keen on me…she didn’t even remember me 😅

To be fair, if it's it's a whole class party kind of school, she may have been to a lot, and they all merge together in her memm6, especially if she has multiple DC. Your DD party was a big deal to you, but pretty minor to everyone else.

I had a similar incident. I was invited to a bonfire party, by one of the families from school, I don’t know them well but was pleased to be invited. Only two families were invited so there were 3 Mums in total. When it ended I went and said thanks for having us, we had a lovely time etc. At the Christmas Fayre (six weeks later) the same Mum came over to me and said ‘Are you Kate? I said no ‘I’m Laura’ she said ‘oh but you are Sophie’s Mum? I said ‘No I’m Jack’s Mum, remember we came to yours for the bonfire party? She looked at me like I might as well have been Minnie Mouse. Same thing happened at nursery, a Mum who I spoke to every single Tuesday for about six months, later asked me at a party if my child attended the nursery? I said yes, but I wanted to say ‘yes, we have spoken many many times, I know both your kids names, I know what your husband does, I know the hours you attend nursery and the days you work.

Some people I guess are just shit with names and faces, I’ve got a great memory and I’m pretty observant. I could put Mums with the Dads, what cars they drive, what their kids are called. I don’t try and remember this stuff, I just do.

Easy done, whole class party, can't remember who what where. Definitely a sign of a busy life, don't take it to heart.

Have you had a haircut or lost or gained weight since last year?

It is a bit weird that she didn’t even remember your kids were in the same class, even if she had forgotten about the party.

Some people go about with their heads in the clouds though, and are quite preoccupied at pickups and drop offs. She is never going to be your best mate but I wouldn’t take it to heart.

Look at the bigger picture for context. Is she an anxious or shy person? Sometimes social anxiety can make people completely forget names, faces, whole conversations. I struggle with this.. just get white noise terror in my head when someone speaks to me I wasnt expecting.. I can have literally just spoken to them the other day but all ill get in my head is white noise and I won't remember until much later.
Many people also struggle with face blindness.
You just don't know but there are many reasons why this woman might not have recognised you and you should try and not take it personally.

If your child is in their second year of school, you would expect a parent who regularly picks up/drops off to recognise most of the other parents in their child’s class. Unless you/her don’t regularly do the school run? If you both are there every day then it’s very weird, notwithstanding the party situation!

I'd say it's very easily done. In the nicest possible way, I don't really care about the other school mums and their existence doesn't make much more than a fleeting impression on me.

Whatever it is, it's not about you. If this is the first time it's happened to you, you can't be that unmemorable!

My husband is terrible with faces, he's upset quite a few people in the past without meaning to.

Some people can just forget faces. Try not to take it personally- If she hated you, she would definitely remember you.

I was overseeing someone at work, I oversaw them a week later, poor bloke went through being reinducted and everything. Wasn't until the end of the evening, he said, you don't remember me, but I was here recently. I was mortified. I just didn't place his face. Perfectly nice man.

I attended an exercise class several times a week for a few years with the same person. I saw them in a different context (business meeting) and didn’t recognise them from Adam! They were very surprised, but I’m not good with remembering people unless they are significant in my life.

Also spent all xmas day with someone - sat at the same table as them at lunch etc and didn’t recognise them at all a few weeks later in the street.
its not personal.

I'm absolutely terrible with faces. Names I can remember really well, but I often can't put a face to the name. We live in a smallish village and I often have people saying hi how are you, how are the kids/dogs/ponies and I genuinely can't place them even though I know I know them from somewhere. A neighbour had a tradesman at their house a few years back who obviously knew me well as he knew the names of my horses, my husband etc but I genuinely can't tell you who he was at all. Not the foggiest. I've had to learn to play along and pretend. It's a pain in the arse!!!

Facebook has changed my life with this honestly. Like I try and add everyone I have a long conversation with at any point on Facebook. Then I have a picture of their face and their name next to each other. And I have often their kids names and maybe even important life events. And so I can fix the info in my head over time and am less likely (altho it still often happens) to end up in this embarrassing situation where someone thinks I'm massively rude because I havent recognised them or remembered anything they've said to me.
For some people it comes naturally for other people its exhausting and the bane of their life that their mind will not hold on to this stuff because of whatever reason.

I m that mum. Never remember faces of children or their mums. Mix them up a lot. Much worse for her than you.