The mum didn’t remember me.

[Getfromoutmeroad]

Weird, slightly awkward incident.

Dd started school last year, I saw a few mums at pick, exchange pleasantries etc, there isn’t really a big group of mum friends there, which I’m fine with as I have my friends outside of that, most of them with kids who Dd is friends with.
Dd had her birthday party at the end of the year, I invited all the class, lots came and it was a nice day. One of the mums I’ve said hi to came, my Dd likes her son, I chatted to her at the party, offered drinks etc, she was nice but didn’t join in massively, which is fine and I totally get it.
Saw her the last few days, said hi etc, then today my Dd wants to walk out with her Ds, they walk out holding hands which was very sweet, so we start to chat and then she asks if my dd started this year or if she was in school last year 🤷🏻‍♀️I was a bit surprised and confused and said that she was here last year.
Now I’m thinking I must be so unmemorable 😂how can you literally forget a person whose party you went to
Felt so awkward

She could be Face Blind, it affects quite few people and it very stressful for them.

I would 100% do this. I can’t recognise faces at all.

That said, I know what I’m like and err on the side of caution so always greet people in a manner that would work if we have met before rather than using a line like “you must be new here”.

Menopause.

I am also that mum. I work in a shop and people come up to me and say how’s (one of my sons) doing, and I’m thinking ‘oh crap, which parent are you?’ I sometimes go through the WhatsApp group trying to put faces, names and children together and I still generally get it wrong!!!!

I’m awful with faces, really good with names and details though - so I’d remember that you were Billy’s mum, Lorna - for instance - but wouldn’t be able to pick you out of a line up.

Ha that is me, constantly. If I have met you once the chances of me remembering who am you are are slim to none. Nothing to do with you, I just have a terrible memory.

Don't take offence! I need to meet someone at least 4-5 times before I can remember their face. I've always been like that. It's not because people aren't memorable, it's just how my brain works! I've been caught out so many times introducing myself to someone I've met before! 🙈

I once went to someones birthday dinner and afterwards agreed to meet them for a coffee as we had things in common. It was only when I was waiting outside the cafe that I realised that I had no idea what she looked like. Not a clue . Luckily she recognised me and approached me but not before I had had an awkward interchange with another woman who was wondering if I was going into the cafe ( thought it was full and I was waiting ) and I almost gave her the full beam welcome but luckily something stopped me in time.

A friend has longish blonde hair with a fringe and wears dark rimmed glasses. Have you any idea how many women there are out there who have this look? I dont approach anyone now but wait for them to speak to me first. I shouldnt be allowed out 😂

In Outnumbered the Mum is chatting to a couple at a wedding who clearly know her well but she can't remember them at all. I think it's a pretty common thing to happen.

I've mistaken one school Mum for another before because they both had grey pixie cuts (that was very embarassing because I asked a question that was very specific to the wrong one!), and I increasingly find it difficult to distinguish between young blond women at work who I don't work closely with. Or the identikit blond women on TV.

I went to DS's friends party last year, chatted to both parents, I would not be able to pick them out from a crowd of 10 even if my life depended on it.

I'm on the receiving and giving end of this. I have a really good memory for names and information but faces out of context - I struggle. On the other side of the coin, I'm also quite unmemorable looking - there are loads of white 40 something mums with longish brown hair around.

Also I have two kids, they go to 3 form entry primary and a secondary school with 6 classes a year. Each have school clubs and hobby clubs 3 times a week. I'm class rep for two classes and on the PTA. That is hundreds of parents in my social circle. I cannot remember everyone!

Also whatsapp - the minority of mothers have their picture as their profile IME.

I may well have not remembered you. I forget people quickly. I hate it. It’s not your fault but don’t be too hard on her either.

I have terrible facial recognition, so I hardly remember anyone from their appearance. Unless you think she was being intentionally mean, I wouldn't worry about it.

I don't remember people very well who are acquaintances and am constantly being said hi to in all walks of life by people who remember me and most of the time I can't remember them! Embarrassing and I need to focus more!

This is not me, but I have a few friends who are too vain to wear their glasses and forget to put in contacts, so they are walking around in a blur ! Might be that too.

I am quite memorable for various reasons but sometimes people have clean forgotten me, I am more surprised than offended.

Sometimes if I'm going through a very stressful time, I can look a lot like I'm functioning (but a bit quiet, maybe people might say disinterested etc). I am actually not functioning and am struggling to structure sentences and behave like it is not my first day on Earth. When these days have happened I would not remember anyone I met or what I said to them or them me.

I wonder whether this mum might have been going through some stuff and it's not about you

I‘ve done this and feel terrible about it. Chances are she feels terrible too! And it’s not that you are easily forgettable.

I once spent an evening at a restaurant/ bar run by a couple known to DH‘s sister. We had dinner with them (and some other people) and chatted all night. We ended up getting snowed in and they kindly let us stay in their private residence along with everyone else.

About a year later I was working at DH sister‘s restaurant. I was serving a couple all night and thought they were being overly friendly. When they left, they said ‘say hi to DH‘s sister, from us at X restaurant/bar‘.

I was absolutely mortified, I have no idea how I didn’t remember them!

I actually disagree with all of these people. If I am the host of a party, and at that party you stay and chat etc, yes, I will be insulted if you do not remember me. I will not be insulted if you can't quite remember my name or whatever, but yes, not remembering ME would be insulting.

I would NOT expect someone to necessarily remember exactly who I am if they spoke with me briefly as one of the many mums lurking on the sidelines at a party at which neither of us were the host. But actually, I WOULD expect them to at least recognise my face, even if they don't quite remember who I am or who my child is.

She may just be poor at face recognition. I am quite severely so, as are about 3% of the population, and have had very embarrassing experiences as a result. I will remember everything about a person EXCEPT what they look like. Many other people are not quite as bad, but still not good at it; and might not reliably recognize everyone whom they had met once at a party.

Or she may have a poor memory in general, or have been very preoccupied with something on the day of that party.

It's most unlikely to be something personal about you, or to mean that you are unmemorable.

Oh god that is the sort of thing I do. I have 4 kids, work in 3 different jobs which have lots of clients that I see sometimes once or twice, ran a local community project and spoke publicly lots and met 100s of people through it. If I work around my local park about 3 or 4 people usually say hello. I must know about 500 people or more in my local area. I can get a bit confused as to how I know them all!

Now I’m thinking I must be so unmemorable 😂how can you literally forget a person whose party you went to

I have done this. I was a +1 at someone's party and didn't recognise them the next time I saw them. I need to meet someone half a dozen times before I remember their face. In my case it certainly isn't rudeness but it is mortifying because I'm aware that's exactly how it seems.

I heard Emily Maitliss talking about face blindness recently. I didn't even realise it was a "thing". I wonder if it could be something like that?

I once introduced myself at a party to a man and he responded with "Jesus Christ, Mom... we have met at least 5 times! We have eaten a meal together!" Now he had a valid reason to be upset. I think you may be overreacting.

I’m not offended really, just quite baffled/surprised by it, but then I am an observant person and remember encounters/conversations etc, which can be to my detriment too!

I am hopeless with faces and have to really study someone if I think I’ll need to recognise them again. Give me an address or birthday and I’ll never forget it. Same with cars - I know number plates but couldn’t tell you the make, model, or sometimes even the colour. I’d quite like it if everyone had a number stamped on their head tbh. Try not to take it to heart, OP!