Is this CF, and have I been out of order?

[IDontCareMatthewImSpeakingToRachel]

I don't think I am, but this has caused massive fallout.

A few months back 'friend' messaged me, telling me about a big event she was invited to and if I could help her with an outfit / shoes etc. friend is quite a glass half empty sort of person and has incredibly low self esteem so I've always been there for her to help / lift her spirits and just be an all round good friend to her.

I lent her a very expensive pair of shoes, I drove to her and helped with her hair and make up (she's not local to me) as I wanted her to look and feel fabulous for her event.
Yesterday I asked for my shoes back as I have an upcoming wedding to go to. Long story short she sent me an essay about how tough life is for her, and how ashamed she is, that she has sold my pair of shoes. (These are Christian louboutin shoes that were given to me as a wedding present a couple of years back) I told her that I was really angry at this, they weren't her shoes to sell. Friend went on to say she was under the impression that I GAVE her the shoes, and they were her shoes to sell.
I went back to the original message of when I offered them to her and it reads as follows..

'I have a pair of X you can wear, I won't need them for the time being so you can wear these if they fit you, you will look fabulous.'

From my understanding there was nothing about her being able to keep the shoes.

Anyway, I asked her who she sold them to and they were pawned. I called the store, explained that the shoes were mine and they confirmed they still have them and they haven't been sold on.
I told friend this, and told her she must buy the shoes back immediately.

She's agreed to buy them back, but has said that she will go without food, not be able to pay her mortgage for the month, and basically made me sound like a CF for asking her to do this. She's basically turning this whole thing back around on me, telling me that I could easily buy another pair of shoes. (I can't.. I don't have that disposable money as everyone knows how expensive life is at the mo!)

AIBU? I'm lucky I found the store she pawned them to and I'm lucky they haven't been sold on, she sold them recently and I gave them to her only a few months back so it's not as if they've been laying collecting dust under her bed!

She's now saying she won't be able to feed her kids (who are both in their late teens / early twenties May I add) and is trying to guilt trip me into saying don't worry about it.

The shoes have sentimental value, they were given to me by someone very special which is why I would rather have those specific shoes back rather than giving me the money for them. I guess it is my fault really for letting her borrow them. Needless to say, the friendship (of 15 years) is over.

What an absolute Cheeky Fucker.

I also have a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes and if someone sold them, I would be raging.

I completely feel your anger.
You got yours as a gift and I saved a long time to afford to buy mine. Either way, they are special.

Plus, she knew how expensive they are because she sold them to a pawn shop that specialises in designer handbags/shoes.
This means she purposely set out to get a high price for them 😡

Wow, what a cheeky bint!

You know what though? I'd let it go if she's genuinely on the bones of her arse unless you really need them back for some reason. It's a pair of shoes.

However I'm a soft touch and also not precious over material things. The friendship would be over though.

Good luck op.

Agree with pp’s this friend is horrible and doesn’t deserve your kindness.

I’d be setting out a deadline so you can at least ensure you buy them back if she doesn’t. Worst case would be someone else buys them first.

Wow! What a CF!

Your "friend" is a thieving CF ! How dare she sell property that isn't hers. She needs to buy them back. It's not your responsibility to help her with her financial difficulties. Your friendship is over, get your shoes back and remove this person from your life. Good riddance.

I’m just simply in shock…
can’t believe someone would do this to a friend? Cut ties asap

your priority is to get the shoes back, so you need to buy them back yourself now - or risk not getting them at all.

Sure, you can demand she buys them back, but she might not do it, so you will be minus the shoes.

the friendship is over, she must know that unless she’s really stupid. Therefore she has no incentive to get the shoes back or give you the money if you buy them back.

bottom line is, if you want those shoes, you need to make it happen by buying them yourself. You probably won’t get the money, you might if you try. But if the shoes are your priority, then you need to buy them back.

Go get them. There is no way she is going to pay for them or get them. Block her

I have no actual knowledge of LV shoes or pawn shops but I'm presuming it's hundreds of pounds to buy them back.
If she is saying she can buy them back then she must have access to hundreds of pounds, which to me indicates someone who is isn't living week to week. I'm not denying that she's struggling (like many) but that there's some financial mismanagement here, rather than poverty.

This. Do it quickly before they sell them to someone else.

Pawn shops operate on a short term loan basis. You offer up that vintage tea set, the pawn broker values it and offers you £50.00 or whatever, he gives you a redemption ticket and the cash, you pledge to repay him the loan within a certain length of time. Used to be six months but may have changed since I pawned my granny’s tea set. You can redeem the pledge at anytime within that six months. (Buy back the item ) If not,he keeps the item and sells it on.

The Pawn shop shouldn’t be able to sell them until the pledge is up. I once pawned something and the pledge was for six months, It may be a different length of time now but that’s how pawn shops generally work.
Another thing is you’ll need the pawn redemption ticket to be able to buy them back during the time the pledge is still valid.
When I pawned my item there was a limit to how much the Pawn shop could loan me.
Your message was clear enough to me, “I won’t need them for the time being”. Which, to anyone with two brain cells means you will want them back but not immediately the day after the event.

Being short of money doesn't entitle her to effectively steal from you.
A hard time, I appreciate, but selling your shoes massive CF.
She knew what she had, and she knew what she was doing.

Don't offer a payment plan, because the thieving cow won't stick to it. Rather makes sense that she's having a tough time when she creates problems like this resulting in potentially not being able to feed her kids, and losing long term friendships.

Tell her that she may need to go to a food bank because its certainly not your problem that she makes stupid decisions.

My jaw is on the floor reading this!! I would call the store, tell them friend will be buying them back but if she hasn’t been in to pay by X date to pay you will pay for them yourself, but do not sell them on.
Obviously don’t tell ex friend this and INSIST she goes to buy them back. Tell her you couldn’t give a shit about her mortgage and it’s her own problem. Omg this is one of the cheekiest things I’ve ever read on here!

So basically she has stolen your very expensive shoes. Looks like you'll need to get them back yourself. She is not your problem. She also sounds very manipulative.

Omg wow so cheeeekyyy!!!! Wtf I can’t believe people actually do this and think it’s ok.

She won't buy them back, she has already spent the money.

The shop might take them off sale of you show them a police report listing the stolen goods.

Do you have proof of ownership?

I doubt you will get any money from her. She will tell the police you have them to her.

If you really want the shoes see if the shop will give them back or let you buy them.

Make sure all your friends know what she has done. She may try to get in there first with her version of the story.

I'd call them and buy them and get them sent to your address.

I'd probably not tell her and I'd just stop contacting her now.

I know you shouldn't have to, but in these circumstances I'd pay by card over the phone to the pawn shop just to get them back. Then fight it out with her. Personally, I'd dump her arse. PP is right, no good deed goes unpunished. I can imagine loaning a dress but never such sentimental shoes.

Get your shoes back and ditch this friend no friend to you that's awful

This isn’t cheeky fuckery, it’s theft and fraud.
She’s lucky she’s not being prosecuted, frankly.

I hope you update all your mutual friends op.

Your 'friend' has no shame! Awful woman. Hope you get them back asap

Wow!

Your 'friend' has some neck there @IDontCareMatthewImSpeakingToRachel. Really really cheeky fucker territory there.

Perhaps because you didn't immediately ask for their return or mention to her explicitly that you wanted the shoes back, she must have imagined (quite wrongly though) that you had given them to her. Not trying to excuse what she did but perhaps trying to explain. I'm not the friend. I can't wear high heels any more <sad face> .

I really do hope you manage to get your shoes back. She had absolutely no right to sell them, pawn them or do anything other than return them to you (which she didn't do).

The absolute neck of her!