Is this CF, and have I been out of order?

[IDontCareMatthewImSpeakingToRachel]

I don't think I am, but this has caused massive fallout.

A few months back 'friend' messaged me, telling me about a big event she was invited to and if I could help her with an outfit / shoes etc. friend is quite a glass half empty sort of person and has incredibly low self esteem so I've always been there for her to help / lift her spirits and just be an all round good friend to her.

I lent her a very expensive pair of shoes, I drove to her and helped with her hair and make up (she's not local to me) as I wanted her to look and feel fabulous for her event.
Yesterday I asked for my shoes back as I have an upcoming wedding to go to. Long story short she sent me an essay about how tough life is for her, and how ashamed she is, that she has sold my pair of shoes. (These are Christian louboutin shoes that were given to me as a wedding present a couple of years back) I told her that I was really angry at this, they weren't her shoes to sell. Friend went on to say she was under the impression that I GAVE her the shoes, and they were her shoes to sell.
I went back to the original message of when I offered them to her and it reads as follows..

'I have a pair of X you can wear, I won't need them for the time being so you can wear these if they fit you, you will look fabulous.'

From my understanding there was nothing about her being able to keep the shoes.

Anyway, I asked her who she sold them to and they were pawned. I called the store, explained that the shoes were mine and they confirmed they still have them and they haven't been sold on.
I told friend this, and told her she must buy the shoes back immediately.

She's agreed to buy them back, but has said that she will go without food, not be able to pay her mortgage for the month, and basically made me sound like a CF for asking her to do this. She's basically turning this whole thing back around on me, telling me that I could easily buy another pair of shoes. (I can't.. I don't have that disposable money as everyone knows how expensive life is at the mo!)

AIBU? I'm lucky I found the store she pawned them to and I'm lucky they haven't been sold on, she sold them recently and I gave them to her only a few months back so it's not as if they've been laying collecting dust under her bed!

She's now saying she won't be able to feed her kids (who are both in their late teens / early twenties May I add) and is trying to guilt trip me into saying don't worry about it.

The shoes have sentimental value, they were given to me by someone very special which is why I would rather have those specific shoes back rather than giving me the money for them. I guess it is my fault really for letting her borrow them. Needless to say, the friendship (of 15 years) is over.

How did you meet her?

Laughing over the tattle thing 😂

I've just read up to date. I'm so sorry this happened to you. What a CF she is!
Hopefully, your shoes will arrive soon and you can breathe a massive sigh of relief. I definitely think you getting them back yourself ASAP was the right thing to do given the sentimental value.
It also sounds like it was a blessing, in some ways, to find out what she's really like now.
It's crazy how much some of these posts blow up.

I can't really say without outing her and me completely, it's a very specific place / reason why you go to that place if that makes sense.

So sorry to be vague when I've been pretty open on this thread.

How can it be more outing than the details already given on the thread, it being posted across 2 forums and getting posted in the daily mirror?

I can't really say without outing her and me completely

It sounds like you have already told all of your friends and family so who else can you 'out' yourself to at this point?

OP, I do hope you allow yourself time and space to grieve for the friendship. Once the whole shoe debacle is over you may feel quite upset. Please remember to be kind to yourself.
You were a good friend, her poor behaviour is on her and not a reflection of you.

Meet her at rehab?

I'm not racking up the suspense.

I met her at a support group that I used to go to weekly, (and no, nothing to do with drugs and alcohol) it was for something else.

I just didn't want to open up that can of worms as it's not relevant by that's along the lines of how I met her / saw her all the time.

Precisely why I didn't want to say how I met her.

No. I have never touched drugs in my life.

I would make her buy the shoes back and be GLAD if she starved. What a piss taking bitch!

SHE HAS

SHE HASN'T.

She bought them back herself.

"I met her at a support group that I used to go to weekly, (and no, nothing to do with drugs and alcohol) it was for something else."

I wondered if it was something like this because of the age gap (I thought perhaps teacher/pupil). It sounds as though she has abused a position of responsibility in the first place and has continued to groom you ever since. I'm really sorry this has happened but now you are now aware of who she is/what she is like you are well rid of her.

I'm looking forward to the update where you get your lovely shoes back, but manage your expectations in advance of that - I desperately hope she didn't sell them because she somehow damaged them and was too embarrassed to admit that.

You're along the right lines in regards to how we met.

I just want to make it clear it was nothing to do with alcohol / drugs. I have never done drugs in my life.

I hope so too, the shoes were advertised as 'excellent condition' so I think they're exactly how they were when I handed them over to her. Because they're red bottoms I don't actually think she wore the shoes at all as they scuff v easily and I've had to get them repainted every few times I wore them. I'm just so happy they're on the way to me finally!

TIL that repainting Louboutins is A Thing.

I imagine there’s people who try and paint the bottom of ordinary shoes red to pass them off as CLs.

For those asking what Tattle is...

It's like a Mumsnet for grown ups who don't turn into nests of vipers on each other and so it isn't full over over-policing moderators. You get to read and follow threads for weeks, months or years without them getting pulled.

Except they take pictures from the lovely people in the style and beauty section and laugh at them

It's an open forum though. I guess the people in style and beauty are happy to share these images? They're not indecent or anything I don't think. Just people wearing new outfits, yes?

Sorry what? It’s a nest of mad vipers with no moderation at all.

I wouldn't expect a friend to pay me for babysitting!
Op travelled for over 2 hours to help cf with her hair and makeup for the event, and drop the shoes off. 4 hour round trip.
Op sounds like an amazing friend, very kind and considerate. Cf has lost out big time.

Plenty of fake brands try to do this.

Tattle is a mixed bunch. There are some threads that go too far, some that are very informative (especially around the illegal/immoral actions of influencers and those in the media) and some that are just a chat

One thing is for sure you do not get pile on’s, grammar police and people doing the fake “I don’t know what you mean” if someone has done a small typo that you get on MN. So for that the threads, mostly TV related ones, I go on are fairly tame and friendly.

The best one recently was everyone giving each other tips on how to get Taylor Swift tickets and then cheering for each other when people said they were successful or commiserating when they were not (I was in the second camp trying to get one for my niece for Christmas but never mind)