Is this CF, and have I been out of order?

[IDontCareMatthewImSpeakingToRachel]

I don't think I am, but this has caused massive fallout.

A few months back 'friend' messaged me, telling me about a big event she was invited to and if I could help her with an outfit / shoes etc. friend is quite a glass half empty sort of person and has incredibly low self esteem so I've always been there for her to help / lift her spirits and just be an all round good friend to her.

I lent her a very expensive pair of shoes, I drove to her and helped with her hair and make up (she's not local to me) as I wanted her to look and feel fabulous for her event.
Yesterday I asked for my shoes back as I have an upcoming wedding to go to. Long story short she sent me an essay about how tough life is for her, and how ashamed she is, that she has sold my pair of shoes. (These are Christian louboutin shoes that were given to me as a wedding present a couple of years back) I told her that I was really angry at this, they weren't her shoes to sell. Friend went on to say she was under the impression that I GAVE her the shoes, and they were her shoes to sell.
I went back to the original message of when I offered them to her and it reads as follows..

'I have a pair of X you can wear, I won't need them for the time being so you can wear these if they fit you, you will look fabulous.'

From my understanding there was nothing about her being able to keep the shoes.

Anyway, I asked her who she sold them to and they were pawned. I called the store, explained that the shoes were mine and they confirmed they still have them and they haven't been sold on.
I told friend this, and told her she must buy the shoes back immediately.

She's agreed to buy them back, but has said that she will go without food, not be able to pay her mortgage for the month, and basically made me sound like a CF for asking her to do this. She's basically turning this whole thing back around on me, telling me that I could easily buy another pair of shoes. (I can't.. I don't have that disposable money as everyone knows how expensive life is at the mo!)

AIBU? I'm lucky I found the store she pawned them to and I'm lucky they haven't been sold on, she sold them recently and I gave them to her only a few months back so it's not as if they've been laying collecting dust under her bed!

She's now saying she won't be able to feed her kids (who are both in their late teens / early twenties May I add) and is trying to guilt trip me into saying don't worry about it.

The shoes have sentimental value, they were given to me by someone very special which is why I would rather have those specific shoes back rather than giving me the money for them. I guess it is my fault really for letting her borrow them. Needless to say, the friendship (of 15 years) is over.

She's dim as fuck as well as a thief 😂look at the date on the link she posted.......

I know all my sisters' shoe sizes, my brother's, my husband's, my mum & dad's, my son's, daughter's, my in-laws' and some friends too. Am I weird?

PS strangely I'm getting loads of ads for shoes suddenly on this thread.

I am sure CFer and/or her grown children would have no problem trying to obfuscate the situation.

No, that was the date that particular thread about Mumsnet was started. The post was made at 5.06 this morning.

What is the "Tattle" site?

You think an older woman befriended you when you were about 14 in anticipation of you getting married and your brother buying you a pair of designer shoes which she would later borrow and then pawn / sell? I think your friend has behaved appallingly, but that really is a stretch.

Truthfully, I think now you have got the shoes back you need to let this go, block the friend and take a lesson about lending / borrowing.

You are probably going to lose or waste money again at some time in your life, it happens sometimes. You are not doing your mental well being any favours here is pursuing this, a legal case is a very stressful process. I am also bemused that you and all your friends have been on the phone crying over it (and again I don’t want to minimise it, I think it was dreadful) but I am struggling with that scenario.

The people that really matter believe you. The rest can either show some proof or they can pound salt. Some people really get testy when they find someone is getting more attention than they get.

@BMW6

I think the thread was started on 16th September but the reply about this thread was done at 3am (I think anyway, I'm not sure how tattle works)

Whether it's CF or not, they've been a bit silly here as if I've made the whole thing up how would they know as my sibling that it was me or who I am!

It's probably CF, or some random (maybe the same person who called me Maria below..)

Whoever wrote that reply on tattle is obviously on here so if they want to out me, at least tell the posters on here who have taken their time to reply my name or something to 'catch me out.'

I won't be caught out as this isn't a fake thread. Someone's just trying to be that person and get the thread pulled or try to get everyone to turn on me I think.

Thank you @BMW6 @Nanaof1 and everyone else who have stuck up for me and everyone who's taken the time to give me so much helpful advice. I'm sorting the headed letter today and will post it signed for tomorrow, and fingers crossed my shoes turn up tomorrow! (Yes I'll post a pic of them )

Good catch! I totally missed that.

Dear God.

Me too. I don't think it's weird at all. Maybe some of the doubting Tina's here have brothers who wouldn't buy them a pair of shoelaces so they're jealous?

@Aprilx

No I don't think she befriended me when I was a teenager just to borrow my shoes.
I met her when I was very young, in an environment where I would see her a lot. I was going through something very significant at the time and she really helped me through it. I listened to her as she was a lot older than me. As time went on and I grow older it turned into a friendship. It wasn't until I was in my 20s the tables sort of turned and she was in a bad place and I started helping her.

I don't think she befriended me for shoes. I think she saw an opportunity with a very young vulnerable teen, and as I got older, started a good life with a good job etc she probably used that at her chance to manipulate me into helping her. I think a lot of the things she's told me over the years are lies. For instance, she told me she went to prison. I don't think I would've met her where I did (her place of work) if she'd been to prison. I don't know for sure though.

This is where the dots are joining in my head. I think she's manipulative and she's lied for years, for her own personal and financial gain. If she has lied for all of these years, she's fooled a lot of people though she is incredibly good at it.

I find there are more and more people who make poor choices in their own lives, blame others and then keep making the same ones. Work part time or not at all with lazy often grown up kids who are still deciding ‘what job they will do, or trying to find themselves’.

They look at others and bleat it’s not fair, they take anything given but explaining to themselves it’s not right that others have what they don’t..

The friendship is dead. I would buy back the shoes myself and then send her a final letter explaining how shocked you are at her selfish behaviour and entitlement. Block her and get on with life. Hopefully she will have some guilt but somehow I think she will blame this all on her you.

She must buy your shoes back and return them to you. As you say the friendship is over but she doesn’t need to know that until you have the shoes back

Perhaps read all the OPs updates before posting …

This thread is now full of posters saying buy the shoes back and others saying read the thread 😄

It's another forum, mainly celebrity gossip. They have an off topic section though where they talk about other things. A lot of people joined on there from mumsnet - it's quite entertaining to be fair. And with a lot being ex mumsnetters they sometimes take the piss about threads on here - especially one's such as this which end up as one big fight. It's smaller and at one point you needed a referral code to sign up so there seem to be fewer trolls than on here.

So, you didn't read the thread or didn't understand the thread?

Did you miss the part where all of her friends have been taken for $$$$ by the CFer? Some of them more than once? No idea of the total amount but I will guess it will be more than a run out to a pub or a bottle of wine.

Did you miss the part where the CFer's kid has scammed her brother out of $$$, more than once?
Did you miss the part where the friends accepted the CFer into their circle for years and years, only to find out CFer betrayed them all? They are sad about that fact because it damn ass hurts when someone you thought was "decent" ends being anything but. They have a lot to grieve, a lot to be angry over and some truths to face.

Several hundred, if not a thousand plus pounds is not "losing or wasting" money. It's being taken advantage of someone's good nature and out and out theft of the shoes.

She isn't Elsa and this isn't a Frozen movie so she shouldn't be letting anything go. Small claims is not stressful, except to the CFer.

Tell the CFer that she isn't going to get away with this, okay?

AAahhh...thank you for the info! I'll have to try and see if I can find it.

Just for the record

I HAVE BOUGHT THE SHOES BACK.
They are on their way.
Please read at least my post before you either:
Pick the bones out of my thread.
Tell me to buy the shoes back.

There are a few posters on the Tattle page sticking up for you OP (which doesn’t really happen that often)

Glad you’re getting your shoes back but I’d be pursuing the CF though the small claims court to recoup what’s owed to you.

Please see attached screenshot, as per my earlier post. The post we are discussing was made at 5.06am today, on a long Mumsnet discussion thread which was started on 15th September.

This is a really good idea