To think my husband should help pay for my car?

[strawberryscones]

I drive, my husband does not and never learned to drive as no interest. I have a car which I bought myself 8 years ago. I work from home these days so I don't use the car for work, but we live quite rurally so the car is needed to get about at weekends, food shopping etc. I don't use it much for solo drives these days.

I have always paid for the insurance, service, MOT, repairs etc. this seemed fair enough when I was using the car for work, but now i use the car for mainly joint 'leisure' activities, I feel this is unfair. Husband also works from home, with maybe 1 trip every two months to the office, so he doesn't have the travel costs he used to.

I said the next time the insurance, service etc is due, I believe the joint account should be used to cover it. He went ballistic, and said it's my car so I should pay for it. He said if it was jointly paid for, he would expect me to basically be his taxi driver and provide lifts whenever he wants, wherever he wants. I said I can't do that as I have a job etc, and it's my time as well as the car.

He then said ok, get rid of the car then. But I think it would be difficult with where we live to do so.

AIBU to expect the car to be a joint expect, even if he doesn't drive it?

I should also add he earns £80k whereas I am on under £30k. He puts slightly more in the joint account than I do, but even after that he still has £2k more than I do in disposable 'fun' money every month.

Your husband is a TWAT.

You need to get rid of him and keep the car.

How are people married to other people who behave like this?

What happened to being a family unit, financial and otherwise?

I would rather be single.

We had the same situation. Husband earned more and used the car everyday for work so he paid for everything car related. Now he works mostly from home and commutes by train in his days in the office, we pay everything for the car from the joint account. It’s OUR car and a joint expense.

He's being a prick! I really wouldn't bring him places anymore. If he says he will pay remind him it's not just the cost of diesel, you have wear/ etc

Your husband is a twat.

Please tell me you haven't had kids with him?!?!

Firstly, if he is earning £80k and you £30k, then he should be contributing far more to the joint account.

Secondly, then if he wants to be so anal about you being his taxi driver, then sure! That's fine. But he pays you the going rate for your time or mileage as per a normal taxi.

My DH doesn’t and has never drive. for medical reasons, I rarely give him lifts though obviously I drive when we are out.

All car costs come out of the joint account.

A few years back he offered to use his bonus to buy me a new car as he sees it as a household tool.

Your finances sound unequal anyway.

Whatever you were talking about he shouldn’t go ballistic. That’s a red flag to start with, never mind his attitude towards car costs, and him only paying slightly more for bills

This absolutely.

Tbh I would keep the car as mine. But would refuse to let him in it

so if you go anywhere he either pays half the costs or funds his own way there

Urgh a man with no interest in driving. How unattractive. It’s a basic life skill and unless you live in central London, have a medical condition that prevents it, or your financial circumstances don’t allow it, refusing to learn to drive is lazy, and selfish as it usually inconveniences others.
I agree with implementing a fare system. He won’t like that one bit but how can he argue against it?

I'd register it as SORN and keep it off road for a couple of months. You can stop paying tax and insurance etc during this time.

In the meantime take a taxi whenever you want to go out. See how he likes it.

I'd also buy him a few driving lessons as his Christmas present.

Urgh, how unattractive. He can't drive and he's also a tight arse. Get in the bin.

My DH has a company car and I own my car. I work part time and my DH earns a lot more than me. He bought my car for me, I pay the insurance and tax which isn’t much. I’ve just had to have £1,500 worth of repairs and he paid the entire bill even though I offered to pay it as he knows I don’t earn much and need the car to run the DCs around. Your DH is being very unreasonable.

This is a good answer.
Pay for it out of joint account and if he wants to learn to drive, you can work out how to split (time in the car) going forward.
If you take time out of work to drive him, then he needs to pay for your time or ensure you get that time back somehow.
I am not sure the relationship can recover from this unless this is just one blip in an otherwise great partner.

You have a husband problem, not a car problem.

Obviously it should be a joint expense. Makes you think though. Household income of £110,000 and squabbling over who pays for the running of the car.

I drive and DP does not. I use the car every day for work and obviously I drive us everywhere we need to go. We pay it out of our joint account because without the car life would be very difficult and he gets use out of the car. Your DH is being very odd in my opinion.

I cannot understand how someone can live rurally and have no interest to drive

Because they usually make sure they can leech off someone else - like the OPs DH. My brother also used to do this, until his GF finally had enough of him and left (not just the driving) and he realised he was now stuck in a village, with one bus service a day, so he either had to learn to drive or find another, unsuspecting woman to taxi him. Guess which one he chose?

YANUB. If you don't use it for work then it is a family vehicle.

Sit down with him and discuss how the family will get about once the car is sold, ie how much will it cost for taxis/public transport, assuming that you can them anyway if in a rural area.

Of course he should pay. My husband doesn't drive either (he can, but prefers not to) so cars and insurance have always been in my name. We pay for all the costs out of joint money.

Similarly, my daughter has a car. Her boyfriend, who recently moved in with her, doesn't have a car and can't drive. He nevertheless recognises that the car is a joint expense, pays for half the petrol, and will pay for half the other costs as they arise.

If a couple of 23 year olds can work that out, your husband should be more than capable of it!

What are you doing with this abusive arsehole? You’re doing your DH a HUGE favour ferrying him around at the weekends.

My husband doesn’t drive either and I bought OUR last car from my savings. We also live rurally so DH has to rely on me to ferry him about. Occasionally, I feel irritated if he wants to go to town (7 miles away) as there’s no bus service so I have to take him. However, if I had other plans or didn’t want to go, he’d accept that. I’m not his personal taxi service.

We’re a partnership and have a joint account. DH wouldn’t dream of taking out more spending money than me, even though his income far outstrips mine. In fact, he spends far less on himself because his hobbies are v. cheap.

I think you should refuse to take him anywhere for at least the next month and let him find out how tricky it is to rely solely on friends for lifts. Stand firm on this or consider Divorce.

My 25 year old and his girlfriend decided the same. He works away a lot with no need for two cars so he pays towards hers and they both use it together. Really not difficult.

It sounds like her husband doesn’t like or respect her much and OP should drive off in that car. LTB

He sounds horrid.
Are you happy with him?

I would never have expected to pay towards a car when I couldn’t drive. Fuel money for driving me somewhere , yes I’d expect to pay that.
I find it odd that you pay equally into the joint account though - he should be paying in more than you do.

I don’t drive either but it is very much a family car, he drives the kids places, collects the shopping and drives us on holiday it is a family asset