School mums asking for money

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Well not quite that but…..on WhatsApp group Someone suggested for birthdays we should not buy any presents but just give cash. I’ve got no issue with that but one of them has now volunteered herself to collect all the money for all birthdays! I don’t know why but I’m finding all this really odd and dictatorship.

If you want to give a present or cash do it but now there’s a list going “I’ve just transferred x amount did you get it?” etc. plus this volunteer is now going to make a list of all the parents names and how much each one giving?! I’m finding it so bloody odd, am I being weird or is this set up weird? The kids are 4/5 surely they want to open presents rather than get money put into mums account.

What would you do? Follow the sheep and transfer money and it’s done or decide yourself for each child whether to buy a gift or give cash?

All 4 year olds are different ! Unless you really know what this child needs or will find useful (it would absolutely be over 10 pounds) any supermarket stuff will be in a bin in 2 days. I am all for good quality presents especially for close friends but for random classmates who u don't know too well money is better. Especially when kids grow older and develop particular interests.

The recent 3 birthdays I had to look for presents it simple made more financial sense to give 10 pounds towards something special as there is nothing of quality u can find for this price anymore. The times I got thoughtful and much needed gifts for dc's closest friends it cost me 30 pounds and a trip to a few shops.

Ah this fun thing. So…my son is Y2.

We never got into the money thing, gifts. Reception is a merry go round of parties because they haven’t got groups. We had two years of whole class parties. It was almost a weekend thing, every week! Mad.

We do presents. However, when it was my sons turn, around 25/30 presents was WAY too much. Most people don’t want to spend much so it’s a lot of tatt.

I wish we had (like my sisters year group) gone with money. However they don’t have a collector (that’s weird!!) they all just put some money in the card.

Ny nephew in reception had anywhere between £5-10 from each person. Loads! They went to the toy shop after the party and he got this big Lego set my sister otherwise wouldn’t have bought due to the cost. Therefore it cost the parents less as £5 is great and he got a toy which was otherwise unaffordable and my sister didn’t have plastic tatt and rubbish floating round the house.

I would love to have had class parties at £5 in a card. Those who didn’t do cash bought gifts and that’s fine too as a lot less presents. Kids do not need 30 presents.

My son was really disappointed when he got only money in cards last year & he's 9! I can only imagine how devastated he'd be if he was 5! Tbh I'm sure he only still wants big parties so he gets a mountain of presents to open afterwards & I'm sure he's not the only one.
I'd definitely buy a gift & stay out of the arrangements, I'll bet you're not the only one to think this, just everyone being polite...

Did you try bringing your child to his favorite shop with that money from the cards and have a special afternoon where he picks something he likes (ie. A big lego) and afterwards you bring him for food/ cinema and make a bit of an event with that day?
That's what I do with my kids. They LOVE IT.

Of course if they experienced the mountain of gifts they might want that but we should know better. The same as it would make them very happy to eat sweets and junk all the time but we know that even if they make them happy, it's not good and we give them proper food.

Traditions can be changed. We don't need to keep them without questioning them. The environment only has one chance, if we all start making good decision as individuals.

Wow I have never heard anything like this before. It definitely sounds like a school gate bossy thing. I would not go it. I know it’s hard sometimes but idk f you don’t want to do t.

I’d say that you’ll do your own.

I don’t like that idea, I am sure they are not but who is to say people won’t cream off a slice?

Oh God, why did you have to suggest something so obvious and so instantly effective, when the OP could do something to create playground drama and whip up the huns into a frenzy with three threads about Whatsapp Woman?

Bloody typical.

This sounds awful, the kids love the presents no matter what they are it's the whole opening and surprise they enjoy!

I really hate things like this, I’m so against it. However, Im also not a fan of group chats because conversations always ended up happening that I end up drowning at and thinking why am I a part of this haha. I’d say just do you’re own thing unless it’s going to make you feel uncomfortable.

Weird. Opt out, nicely. Buy a gift.

F that! My experience of reception year was everyone had a party and invited everyone - it petered off and turned into smaller parties by year one. Or doubling up on parties where kids shared birthday weeks.

Om the money gifting, I would just say “Thank you so much for being super organised. [mychild] really enjoys picking out a gift for his friends so that is what we are going to do”

I do remember a lot of mumxiety about different things but I bet you if you do this someone else will be relieved and pipe in that they’re doing it too.

In 6-7 years you won’t be allowed anywhere near school so enjoy it while it lasts.

Definetly weird and also could be very awkward for some. We have a friends group and they all go to each others parties etc and we just give whatever sometimes its money and sometimes it's a present. It just depends on what we can afford at the time and if the kid in question is saving for something special. The only time we did a collection is when our favourite teacher was leaving x

PS - that reception year of 45 presents also meant we regifted a ton of them where we had duplicates.

Wow that's like £300 a year if 30 kids in the class no way on earth I could afford that. I think I will be homeschooling my boy if this becomes common practice 😯 I thought you just gave presents if your child went to a party and you have a choice to go to the parties.

Eh?! This is weird

Surely the joy of giving cash in a card is kids get to have a little collection?

My mums Paypals me the kids’ birthday money as she lives abroad, I still take it out the cash point and pop it in a card

Ok yanbu about this odd idea of paying money - never understand just moving money about. If you get £10 for your child from everyone but then give everyone £10 you may as well all keep your own money.

However, yabu putting your child's birthday money in your purse and not spending it directly on them. Wtf?

It’s quite handy for teachers presents … but then I hve seen it gets out of hand too - when each teacher / school expects a gift of x tokens or hamper each year and it becomes more like an impersonal (and expected) bonus. The flip side is it’s damned convenient if it’s the last thing on your mind.

Our two in highschool never done this at all always been money and sweets or a gift individually not as a group.

Only time we did a group gift (not money) was y7 as there were a few inc my DS who were after something specific like a footy kit /cricket bat but we had asked the mum wst if there was anything specific and we all put in and it never breached my personal budget I set aside for my kids close friends.

Group money giving nope seems wiered to me unless it's a teacher

My kids school do this at Christmas and it drives me insane! They do it for teachers presents and then only put down the names of the children whose parents have donated! I wrote a message asking if all the children's names can be put on as you never know who's struggling to put food on the table and can't give away their last fiver or however much and they did a separate card from the whole class 🤦🏻‍♀️. Anyway they collected nearly £300 and I think that's absolutely ridiculous 🙃

Just no!!

Very weird !!

Never heard of this

if you go to the party, you buy a gift

not all kids have a party so they won’t be getting a gift

Sorry this doesnt sit well with me either. If i want to put money in a card then I'll get my own card for the child to open or a present if i see something they'd like. I dont like these "raising money" in whatsapp chats when i dont know the people. I'd mute the chat and ignore them, then when next birthday comes say oh ive bought something sorry. Just dont understand why shes come up with this idea. 🙄

I understand that people don't like the idea of sending money for a joint gift, but I don't get why so many assume this woman is looking to make a profit by pocketing some of the money intended for the kids.

That said, when parents at my DC's school do this it is normally organised by the parent of the birthday DC themselves, so it's not such an issue (unless they cream off enough to treat themselves to a bottle of sauv blanc out of the takings)!!! 🎁 🎂🍾😂

I agree it's just someone being a bit of a brown owl rather than a crime ring! I think it's a terrible idea but also, come on.