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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you put your 1 year old in nursery if you didn’t work

311 replies

Comeonautumn · 27/09/2023 11:57

And didn’t need to work-financially ok, other child in school. Would you put your 1 year old in nursery every day?
NOT being judgey, just trying to understand the reasons someone would.
I stayed off with my dc for a while, we were skint and it was so hard at home sometimes, but looking back, they were some of the best times and I wish I could do it all again with my dc especially at 1, when they didn’t yet walk and it was all cuddly and lovely
Friend mentioned to me that our other friend was doing this.
Completely different if you have to work

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 30/09/2023 17:08

One of the unintended reasons I am glad that I had my children very late was that by then I was in a position to choose about whether I needed to use a nursery or not.

Fizbosshoes · 30/09/2023 17:31

Unless there were health issues or a problem at home which prevented someone from caring for a baby/toddler safely, then I would find it unusual for a 1 year old with a SAHM to be at ft nursery.
Lots of people suggesting they would (or do, or did) put their toddler in for 2 or 3 days or mornings but I do think that is different from FT Monday to Friday.

Rosieroo20 · 30/09/2023 18:17

I think that was the actual point of the post.not if it's OK to put a young child in nursery a couple of times a week for a break but full time when the mum isn't at work she is at home.
And I'm sorry I'm sure there are some mums out there who find it all so easy but for most of us it isn't a walk in the park or all fun and games.its bloody hard.
With all the money in the world tho why have kids to put them in nursery full time when you are not at work.
The baby stage isn't all it's cracked up to be the days are sometimes long and boring.
Then there are the days what make it all worthwhile.

Holdmysunhat · 30/09/2023 18:38

@AllTheChaos I also put mine in childcare. Seriously, I can’t stay home. No judgement either way! I just don’t love it when working parents try to make out theirs is the better choice because they’re ‘better socialised’ (which was the point I was originally responding to and now my comment makes no sense out of context!)

Why does everything parent related have to be some big competition. I personally think babies and toddlers are better at home but I don’t want to be at home and neither does my partner! I love my job and child free time. My choice isn’t optimal for my kids in an ideal world but I’m happy and so are they. Likewise I can’t afford private school in future and I don’t care! Not everything is a competition about providing the best.

Coyoacan · 30/09/2023 21:01

With all the money in the world tho why have kids to put them in nursery full time when you are not at work

Most people don't know what it will feel like to be a mother until they actually are mothers, and then they can't give them back.

Anna79ishere · 01/10/2023 08:12

This is a terrible post by someone who is judging women who send their kids to nursery saying - why would you do that? Stay at home with your kid! -
there are lots of resining people do what they do, stay at home, send to nursery, work, send to their parents, have a nanny. Why judge?
this post should be removed. It does nothing informative but fuelling the fight between women, we do not need that

autumnmakesmehappy · 01/10/2023 10:19

Anna79ishere · 01/10/2023 08:12

This is a terrible post by someone who is judging women who send their kids to nursery saying - why would you do that? Stay at home with your kid! -
there are lots of resining people do what they do, stay at home, send to nursery, work, send to their parents, have a nanny. Why judge?
this post should be removed. It does nothing informative but fuelling the fight between women, we do not need that

I agree! I wish women would support other women and stop endlessly shaming each other for our life choices. On mumsnet I have seen women shaming other women for...
Choosing not to have children
Choosing to have children
Breastfeeding
Bottle feeding
Choosing to be a working mum
Choosing to be a stay at home mum
Working part time
Using all forms of childcare
Being married
Being unmarried

I honestly believe that the majority of women are trying to do their best in life, for them and their families.

TiredMummma · 01/10/2023 20:43

Waiting lists here are 18 months. I've had to keep my son in nursery whilst on maternity as otherwise he would lose his place for 3 days week. If I could choose, I would love to have each one for one day a week without the other, work 3 days a week and have family weekend trips but we don't have the money for that.

Coffeelotsofcoffee · 01/10/2023 20:48

No!
And I agree with u OP.

Does anyone actually have a baby and look after it ?.
Seems not these days.
Just wanna farm them out. Like pre revolution Romania

Then we wander why all these teens have mental health issues.
They've been blxxdy institutionalised as babies that's why

RidingMyBike · 02/10/2023 08:22

I was a teen with mental health issues... because I had a SAHM who was really rubbish at it and hadn't been near any kind of childcare.

Kisskiss · 02/10/2023 11:01

Anna79ishere · 01/10/2023 08:12

This is a terrible post by someone who is judging women who send their kids to nursery saying - why would you do that? Stay at home with your kid! -
there are lots of resining people do what they do, stay at home, send to nursery, work, send to their parents, have a nanny. Why judge?
this post should be removed. It does nothing informative but fuelling the fight between women, we do not need that

Yep!!!

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