To report my bullying neighbour to the police?

[L3gohouse]

I am considering reporting my neighbour to the police..

I never thought my life was interesting enough to warrant a post on AIBU but things have changed - here we go!

I recently purchased a ground floor flat in a block of 9 flats. We all share a communal garden but only myself and the next door flat have direct access via patio doors.

I have a registered Hearing Dog for the Deaf (I am profoundly deaf). I've had this dog for nearly a year and previously lived in a rented flat with a small balcony. Now that we have a massive garden, my dog is absolutely loving it and enjoys running around and playing in it (fully supervised).

Most of my new neighbours have been fantastic and very understanding of the dog and welcome his cuddles! However, our direct neighbours (who also have direct access to the garden) have been really difficult. It is a male and female living in the flat - the male is ok-ish, but the female is much worse.

It all came to blows the other day where I had my in-laws over for the weekend. I took the dog out in the garden in the morning so he could go to the toilet. I wasn't anywhere near the neighbour's patio doors or windows - more towards the back end of the garden (approx 10m?), and she flung open her window and started shouting at me!!

I then approached the window and asked her what she was saying. She was shouting and saying 'your dog cannot use the garden as a toilet', over and over. She started saying some other things but I couldn't lip-read her well so I asked her to repeat it and she slammed the window and rolled her eyes at me. I took the dog back indoors and, after discussing with my husband and in-laws, I went round to their door and knocked on it. I asked if I could clarify what the problem was with the lady.

The male invited me in and the lady just started ranting at me. She repeated what she was saying earlier and said 'you have LEGS, you can WALK to the road and toilet him there'. I tried to explain that he is a service dog and that we already had confirmation from the building's management company that he can use the garden. She then started to mimic my voice and said 'UnFoRtUnAtLeY He Is a HeArInG dOg" and kept going on and on, raising her voice and becoming angrier and angrier. She kept saying it didn't matter that he was a service dog, he is still a DOG!! and he must go to the toilet in the road??? After about 5 minutes of going around in circles, I said 'I'm going to leave before this escalates' and the male let me out and gave me a quick apology.

I ended up back in my flat absolutely shaking with adrenaline/fear/anxiety. I've decided to only let the dog toilet in a specific part of the garden (gap in bushes directly opposite my door) to reduce his impact on the garden. Once he has done his business, he is free to run around and play. I don't have to do this but I thought it would be a nice gesture and will hopefully reduce the likelihood of being screamed at again...

Since the weekend, she has been banging on windows and waving at myself and my husband to get our attention but we've been ignoring her - I'm starting to get more and more anxious to go out in the garden and it's having an impact on my dog as well.

Would I be unreasonable to report this to the police?

People are nuts. They'll be shooting the wildlife to keep anything excreted at bay! Neighbour needs to get her own private kingdom she can dettol everyday. Pets are allowed even and this is a service dog. Get a written response you can post and wave at her. Turn your hearing aid off. Don't argue with batshit.

This. Sorry you’ve done the wrong thing OP. I’m not excusing neighbours behaviour, but a shared garden is for everyone to enjoy, and your dog is spoiling this.

Patro using?

I'm asking you to show me the comments you find ablist so I can understand what you mean. I have a suspicion that you might just like soap boxes. If I've skim read over an unethical comment then I'd be happy for my attention to be drawn to it. If we're talking about convenience, then not being able to supply evidence for what you are saying may just be the epitome of this.

OP did the management company know when you said you wanted to know if your dog could use the garden that you meant piss and defecate in the garden? Maybe they thought you meant play in the garden.
If the dog pees on the lead on command, you can easily take him to the curb or nearest drain and get him to pee there. Why don't you do this? Then bring him back to your garden. It would be literally less that 1 minute more of your time.

Read the update sweetie

But then who's going to take responsibility for the cats, foxes, rats, birds, mice and voles?

You're neither the PP's parent nor the thread police, she doesn't need to report the ablist posts on this thread (of which there are many) to you, she can report them straight to MNHQ and I'd encourage her to do so.

Letting your dog shit in a communal garden is honestly rather vile. Doesn't justify the woman's behaviour, though.

This has nothing to do with the deafness. A deaf person is just as able as a hearing person to take their dog 100m up the road and let it pee at various lampposts/gutter. It would be literally 1 minute more than having the dog on the lead and walking it to the pre place in the communal garden.
Disability doesn't excuse unsociable behaviour

Wow, how arrogant are you? Nobody needs to pander to your requests. There are some posts, which are ignorant and if you can't see the ignorance, that just about sums up YOUR entitlement.

Sweetie? Is this that thing people do when they are sneeringly trying to insult people or do you think one day we might be going dog walking hand in hand?

No one is complaining about the running around. It is the peeing and defecating. Dogs get diarrhoea sometimes too. That's just too vile to think about .

@Fallingthroughclouds good enough for you? Probably not.

All pets are not prohibited that means they are permitted. This is a service dog. OP can enjoy the garden with her dog. She has said she immediately clears poo and walks the dog extensively already. You can't guarantee the dog won't wee when outside. If people have a problem with communal living where they share a garden with a service animal then that is on them and yes it does look ableist not to recognize op needs her dog with her if she is to use the garden. I'd prob have more of an issue with children using the garden but not a service dog and yes, deliberately goady as I can't believe what I've been reading.

I'd say that's pretty ableist tbh.

There's tons of them, I agree with you.

It’s not unsocialable behaviour!!

OP isn’t pissing in the communal garden. Her dog is.

See both points of views. Have a feeling that both parties believes the garden belongs to them because their doors open out on to it.

Personally, I would go over with a bottle of wine and find out what her problem is.
She may not compromise, or may be okay with shits under a tree, far from her house.

It is worth a shot, living with bad blood is no fun.

So I take it we can never expect to see you highlight disability as mitigating factors, in any argument. Remember your last sentence. Disgraceful. It's not unsociable behaviour for a dog to toilet in its own garden..Shared or otherwise, so long as its owner is cleaning up after it.

Can't do it can you read the update. Iam a deaf person myself becareful with your words.

@L3gohouse I am sorry you've had such a shitty response from so many people here who are apparently determined to be total cunts!

I'd ask the management company if they, or you, can create a 'dog bog' - effectively a raised bed (but not really, just a single plank high all around to keep in the surface will do) area with bark mulch for the dog to toilet on, to save the grass and so that any other users of the garden know where to avoid. These can be kept very clean (poo pick, soak down, top up mulch) so they don't pong and dogs generally like to go on them (stick in a couple of natural logs for boy dog to wee up), and they don't look heinously unattractive either.

And definitely report the abusive, ableist neighbour/visitor, she sounds like a vile cow!

And gardens don't tend to smell of pee unless they're concreted over/ there is never rain to wash stuff down. I presume OP picks up the poop. Though service dogs are often exempt from rules about dog poo/ wee (I know guide dogs are, but I am not 100% sure if this applies to other service dogs).

It sounds like a lot of people on this thread are 1) ablest, or at the least ignorant of what service dogs do/ how they help 2) don't like dogs/ don't have much experience of dogs.

The comments are quite wild!

Definitely not worded nicely, but what is stopping her taking the dog the extra minute round the corner? I'd hate to be the OP and expect people to think I didn't have the ability to take a few extra steps. She walks the dog twice a day, so why can't she do this. It never even crossed my mind that she couldn't, so in some ways maybe you're the ableist one for patronising her so.

You're being quite aggressive. I think we are allowed to have different opinions. I'm anticipating your wrath now, so off to make some popcorn.

Well yeah op, you pick up the poo but do you realise how the dog urine reeks?
I would be livid as well, it's a a shared garden- it cannot be pleasant to sit there a smell the urine.

The other utterly mad thing about this thread is everyone is commenting on a service dog taking a piss INSTEAD OF COMMENTING ON THE FACT THE WOMAN TOOK THE PISS OUT OF HER VOICE

It's literally a FUCKING HATE CRIME !

FUCKING HELL, PRIORITIES!!! The OP literally asked whether she should report her neighbour for a hate crime and instead you get people wondering about dog piss

Just WTF

(And yes obviously all the people commenting about badger, rabbit, bird shit are quite right)

Just, so many cunts... so little time