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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do we ignore the fact that most affairs don’t involve an OW?

221 replies

AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 18:42

Or an OM for that matter?

Please, we all know most affairs in marriages are between married people.

Most people that are married and having affairs are having affairs with other married men/women.

AIBU to think there’s a focus on OW in affairs even though they make up a minority of affairs in real life?

OP posts:
Original poster
AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 19:13

@FuckingHellAdele 16% of people on the poll think I am not BU. So other people have observed this too. Not just me

OP posts:
Blanketpolicy · 25/09/2023 19:15

AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 18:51

@CorylusAgain No I haven’t seen those.

I mean generally - the consensus is that the OW is a single seductress who is out to take someone else’s husband. People ignore the fact that most often the woman in an affair usually has a husband of her own.

Many OW are married, some are in relationships, some are single - they are all still morally defective OW

I have no idea where you got the impression everything thinks OW are single..........

AnonAnonandAriston · 25/09/2023 19:15

What the hell are you on about. You can't have an affair on your own, so of course there has to be an OW or an OM involved!

Blanketpolicy · 25/09/2023 19:16

AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 19:13

@FuckingHellAdele 16% of people on the poll think I am not BU. So other people have observed this too. Not just me

It is more likely that 16% don't understand the voting than think all OW are single.

tennine · 25/09/2023 19:18

AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 19:13

@FuckingHellAdele 16% of people on the poll think I am not BU. So other people have observed this too. Not just me

I'm in the app so couldn't vote but you are wrong to suggest most affairs don't involve OW - if a man is cheating with a woman she is the OW.

CorylusAgain · 25/09/2023 19:19

AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 19:13

@FuckingHellAdele 16% of people on the poll think I am not BU. So other people have observed this too. Not just me

But the consensus is that you are unreasonable (84%)

MiIaMae · 25/09/2023 19:19

Make it make sense OP

Toottooot · 25/09/2023 19:20

A whole 16% - Wooptie fucking ping 🤦🏻‍♀️

CorylusAgain · 25/09/2023 19:21

MiIaMae · 25/09/2023 19:19

Make it make sense OP

Yes. Can you rephrase? Or do you genuinely think ow is used by most people to mean a single woman?

TheCurtainQueen · 25/09/2023 19:21

I don’t think that’s what anyone means when they say OW. They just mean a woman who is not his wife.

Janieforever · 25/09/2023 19:23

AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 19:13

@FuckingHellAdele 16% of people on the poll think I am not BU. So other people have observed this too. Not just me

I think they picked the wrong one by mistake.

honestly. Other woman means other woman, marital status is not relevant.

Findyourneutralspace · 25/09/2023 19:23

Can one of the 16 per cent please step forward and explain?

Janieforever · 25/09/2023 19:24

MindfullyAmazedHorse · 25/09/2023 19:11

If you wouldn’t call a married person an OW or OM, how would you refer to them?

This, my little mind is boggled, what they called if they aren’t the ow/om.

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 25/09/2023 19:24

I’ve never thought that OW is a single, seductive woman…. I’ve just taken it literally that they’re the “other woman” so not the women he’s married too.

OW or OM gives absolutely no indication of the persons relationship status.

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 25/09/2023 19:26

Mistress may possibly conjure that image OP. I’m thinking of the T.V drama The Mistress, but OW means, just that.

Boomboom22 · 25/09/2023 19:26

I think you've gone too specific with the term, ow is any other woman, but yes there is a stereotype about single women who become ow deliberately.
Also why can't a married ow also seduce? Or be seduced?

XenoBitch · 25/09/2023 19:26

All affairs involve an OW/OM. The 'O' means other... as in someone other than the spouse/partner that is being cheated on.

Honestly, this is a little embarrassing.

UsingChangeofName · 25/09/2023 19:28

I mean generally - the consensus is that the OW is a single seductress who is out to take someone else’s husband.

Nope, it really isn't.

As you can see by the fact that 85% of people (at the moment) who have voted, are saying YABU

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 25/09/2023 19:32

AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 19:13

@FuckingHellAdele 16% of people on the poll think I am not BU. So other people have observed this too. Not just me

Having 16% of voters agreeing with you (a grand total of 17 people) is hardly something to boast about 😆😆

Holly60 · 25/09/2023 19:34

AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 18:51

@CorylusAgain No I haven’t seen those.

I mean generally - the consensus is that the OW is a single seductress who is out to take someone else’s husband. People ignore the fact that most often the woman in an affair usually has a husband of her own.

I'm not sure that's the general consensus.

General consensus is that the OW is the other woman the husband is sleeping with. Marital status of OW is irrelevant

Duolily · 25/09/2023 19:35

Eh, this makes no sense 😂

Holly60 · 25/09/2023 19:35

AkakeSlumnering · 25/09/2023 19:13

@FuckingHellAdele 16% of people on the poll think I am not BU. So other people have observed this too. Not just me

16% is not a 'general consensus' 😂

LemonQuiche · 25/09/2023 19:36

Aren’t they just two cheeks of the same arse?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 25/09/2023 19:36

Of course an OW can be married! Ditto an OM.
Not sure where the OP got the idea that they have to be single.

BerriesNutsConkers · 25/09/2023 19:36

@AkakeSlumnering I think it's you who is misunderstanding the use of OW