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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secrets out and I feel stupid

178 replies

Kittylala · 25/09/2023 17:18

To think my 5 year old could keep her mouth shut.
I cannot look at her. I am so disappointed. She has told everyone at at school that I am (5 weeks) pregnant. Her father wanted her to know first. I wanted to tell my parents early due to a family wedding next week.
I told her it was our family secret. I told her that if it slips out - just cover it by saying 'it's a joke'.
Instead she has told 6 kids who's parents I dispise and told them to keep it a secret. The parents and I were all good friends last year. I am disabled. I don't know what happened, but they have been ignoring me for the majority of the year. I didn't want them to know.
My parents in the end didn't take the news well. Again I don't know why. I am so disappointed. My daughter is wonderful. I am angry with my partner. I am so low. How do I get back control? I wish I hadn't told anyone, not even my partner x

OP posts:
FriendsDrinkBook · 25/09/2023 17:20

Please don't blame her. She's only 5.

LadyWithLapdog · 25/09/2023 17:21

What’s done is done. Congratulations and try not to let it upset you.

CacenCaws · 25/09/2023 17:21

You can't expect a 5year old to keep a secret. It was bound to happen, try not to blame her

Radiat · 25/09/2023 17:21

She’s 5, and she’s naturally going to be excited about having a sibling. I’m sorry people found out this way, but she really is too young to be trusted not to accidentally let it slip.

Tribevibes · 25/09/2023 17:21

Well for a start 5 year olds don’t keep secrets. So yes YABVU.

GreyCarpet · 25/09/2023 17:21

Well, tbf, it was a bit daft to think about 5 year old would keep quiet about this. She's excited and doesnt understand that once a secret had been shared, its no longer a secret..

In terms of taking back control, it's your body and your pregnancy so, in future, only tell others what you are happy for everyone to know.

And congratulations!

tennesseewhiskey1 · 25/09/2023 17:22

She’s 5!

Vegetus · 25/09/2023 17:22

You can't expect a 5 year old not to blurt out something no matter what it is. My 4 year tells nursery all sorts of things about us that I don't even know how he knows tbh with you! If I told him something important he'd grass me up in seconds to anyone he comes across.

Beezknees · 25/09/2023 17:23

She's 5. YABU expecting a 5 year old to keep a secret.

Droppit · 25/09/2023 17:23

A five year old just cannot keep a secret like this. I'm sorry you're feeling low about it. In the grand scheme of things it wont matter. Try to cheer yourself up by doing something nice.

NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy · 25/09/2023 17:23

Ffs she's 5. Stop putting adult responsibilities on her.

Overthebow · 25/09/2023 17:24

Well yes of course she told everyone, she’s 5. To be expected really.

StSwithinsDay · 25/09/2023 17:24

To think my 5 year old could keep her mouth shut.
I cannot look at her. I am so disappointed.

Read that back to yourself. That is a really nasty thing to say about a 5 year old.

AlphaAlpha · 25/09/2023 17:24

You can't look at her?

How about you give yourself a long, hard stare in the mirror and reread your post.
You're the adult, she's the child, stop behaving like it's the other way around.

Oysterbabe · 25/09/2023 17:24

It was insanity to ask a 5 year old to keep a secret, really unfair to put that on her.

UpUpUpU · 25/09/2023 17:25

My 5 year old put down the car window and shouted “my mummy has stinky truuuuuuuuummmmppppssss” as we drove down the main road. I wouldn’t trust him with a secret!

Beezknees · 25/09/2023 17:25

NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy · 25/09/2023 17:23

Ffs she's 5. Stop putting adult responsibilities on her.

This. And saying you "cannot look at her" is actually very cruel to say about a 5 year old. Re reading your post back you sound like a brat! You're the adult here, not your dd.

Mmhmmn · 25/09/2023 17:25

She’s five years old. She was practically born yesterday

Strawberryfieldsforeverrr · 25/09/2023 17:25

Aw love there's obviously a lot going on behind the scenes and you're upset. But take a breath, none of this will matter in a year.
And don't tell a 5 year old anything precious, they are blabber mouths x

readbooksdrinktea · 25/09/2023 17:26

StSwithinsDay · 25/09/2023 17:24

To think my 5 year old could keep her mouth shut.
I cannot look at her. I am so disappointed.

Read that back to yourself. That is a really nasty thing to say about a 5 year old.

Absolutely this.

Either you're being dramatic for the Internet, or you need to get a grip.

LividHot · 25/09/2023 17:26

Unwise in the extreme to tell a young child in the first place.

Source: many early losses

Flipflopflopflip · 25/09/2023 17:26

StSwithinsDay · 25/09/2023 17:24

To think my 5 year old could keep her mouth shut.
I cannot look at her. I am so disappointed.

Read that back to yourself. That is a really nasty thing to say about a 5 year old.

This. Sincerely hope you haven't said this to your daughter OP.

GP78 · 25/09/2023 17:26

Wow poor kid, of course she was going to tell everyone she's 5 FFS listen to yourself.

beachstones · 25/09/2023 17:27

This must be a joke. You must know it was completely unwise to think you can confide in a five year old. That poor judgement is on you.

It was also unwise to tell her before the the pg was well established and quite well advanced, especially given her very young age.

She is a very young child and your daughter. She is not your best mate you can confide everything to. It sounds like you are treating her like she is.

Notthisagainpart2 · 25/09/2023 17:27

Please don't blame a 5 year old. You are the adults so you shouldn't have told her if you didn't want it to get out.