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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Secrets out and I feel stupid

178 replies

Kittylala · 25/09/2023 17:18

To think my 5 year old could keep her mouth shut.
I cannot look at her. I am so disappointed. She has told everyone at at school that I am (5 weeks) pregnant. Her father wanted her to know first. I wanted to tell my parents early due to a family wedding next week.
I told her it was our family secret. I told her that if it slips out - just cover it by saying 'it's a joke'.
Instead she has told 6 kids who's parents I dispise and told them to keep it a secret. The parents and I were all good friends last year. I am disabled. I don't know what happened, but they have been ignoring me for the majority of the year. I didn't want them to know.
My parents in the end didn't take the news well. Again I don't know why. I am so disappointed. My daughter is wonderful. I am angry with my partner. I am so low. How do I get back control? I wish I hadn't told anyone, not even my partner x

OP posts:
Fallingthroughclouds · 25/09/2023 18:15

Darkmode2 · 25/09/2023 18:05

Ffs the start of this is massively over the top

It's a good life skill to learn how to keep certain information private. As long as you're not asking a child to keep a secret in a dangerous or creepy way it's not emotionally abusive

She can't even look at her. Telling her a secret that she herself couldn't keep, to a 5 year old, bless her cotton socks. This is totally fucked. No way to treat a young child at all. She should be ashamed.

itsmyp4rty · 25/09/2023 18:15

I think you're worrying far too much about other people - who cares if they know. You're daughter's really excited, hopefully you're really excited, everyone else is an irrelevance.

No one has control over other people - you can only control yourself so just concentrate on you and your dd and stop giving head space to anyone else.

Despising other people because they've gone quiet on you sounds very extreme - how much effort did you put into keeping in touch? Maybe they are just busy. Have you asked them about it or said you'd like to do something with them?

You're angry with your ex because he wanted to tell your daughter first, but I don't understand why? It doesn't sound like you really like your mum very much either so why are you bothered if other people found out before her?

TBH you seem to be angry with everyone including your poor 5 year old daughter. You also say 'I feel so much shame and anger at how pathetic my life is, I am.' To me this all sounds like extremely low self esteem and being very angry with the whole world, this is not normal or a good way to feel. I'm guessing you didn't have an easy childhood and that is still impacting you today, I really think that speaking to a counsellor might help as no one deserve to feel the way you do. Why would you think you're pathetic?

pizzaHeart · 25/09/2023 18:15

Of course it was very silly to expect her not to tell anyone, but could I also defend your DH just a tiny bit - maybe he was just very excited as well.
I wouldn’t give a f * about parents at school , they probably up to their heads in their own problems.
however your parents’ reaction was very wrong. My mum had this annoying habit to tell everyone about my life, so I just stopped telling her things, I’ve told her about my pregnancy at 17 weeks so fed up I was . She is better now by the way, she’s learned her lesson . So tell your parents how disappointed you are in their reaction but a bit later, when you are calmer.
Congratulations on your pregnancy !

Tinkerbyebye · 25/09/2023 18:16

May sound harsh but grow up. You can’t look at your own daughter because you see stupid enough to believe a 5 year old would keep a secret. Sound to me like she’s excited, now she’s got you being horrible to her

Ducksinthebath · 25/09/2023 18:18

Why are you so upset at people knowing you’re pregnant? Seems a bit of an overreaction to be honest.

Coldbrewnumber2 · 25/09/2023 18:18

StSwithinsDay · 25/09/2023 17:24

To think my 5 year old could keep her mouth shut.
I cannot look at her. I am so disappointed.

Read that back to yourself. That is a really nasty thing to say about a 5 year old.

This. You are being very unreasonable.
You shouldn't have told anyone until you were ready for the news to spread - so you only have yourself to blame.

WimbyAce · 25/09/2023 18:18

I mean more fool you for telling her at only 5 weeks. No sympathy here I'm afraid.

autumniscomingsoon · 25/09/2023 18:19

neverbeenskiing · 25/09/2023 18:13

RTFT people. OP has accepted that her DD shouldnt have been told and is beating herself up about it, no need to keep on at her.

This

ilovebrie8 · 25/09/2023 18:20

Oh my seriously she is 5!!

It is not her fault....you shouldn't have expected her to keep a secret....

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 25/09/2023 18:20

Kittylala · 25/09/2023 17:55

Thank you so much everyone. You are all right. After writing my post I gave her a big hug. I am disappointed in myself mostly for letting my dh persuade me into telling her. Of course she is 5 years old and of course she is excited to tell everyone. I am angry that I am being forced to divulge my news to passify others. I am upset about my parents reaction. Mum has now told her friends. I am upset and angry with no where to divert these feelings. I want time to process, but I can't because I have to parent. I have no control. It stems from having a narc mother. I just don't know how to get a sense of independence and control. I feel so much shame and anger at how pathetic my life is, I am.

Thank you all xx

I would recommend against telling anyone other than the child's father until at least fourteen weeks because the more people you tell early, the more people you have to tell if you miscarry. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester, so you protect yourself from the worst of that risk by waiting until week 14.

Men often don't understand the high risk of early miscarriage so a word with DH might be helpful.

Your DD is probably excited about her new sibling and that's why she told her friends. She doesn't know that their parents are not your friends.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 25/09/2023 18:20

Firstly if this is serious I think it's unwise to tell anyone at 5 weeks, but expecting a 5 year old to keep a huge secret like this is ridiculous!
I am concerned that " you can't even look at her" FFS she is 5!!!

Yldz · 25/09/2023 18:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Florenceatemycake · 25/09/2023 18:24

beachstones · 25/09/2023 17:27

This must be a joke. You must know it was completely unwise to think you can confide in a five year old. That poor judgement is on you.

It was also unwise to tell her before the the pg was well established and quite well advanced, especially given her very young age.

She is a very young child and your daughter. She is not your best mate you can confide everything to. It sounds like you are treating her like she is.

THIS with bells on.

Who the hell tells a 5yo they're pregnant at 5 weeks?! There's so much that can go wrong. There's just absolutely no need.

Honestly it sounds like you're treating your 5yo like a confidant and that's just wrong on so many levels.

Florenceatemycake · 25/09/2023 18:27

nobodysdaughternow · 25/09/2023 17:59

You need to create boundaries with your narc Mother. She will have enjoyed looking disappointed in you, knowing the hurt she caused. She views you as weaker than her and uses your desire to please her to reinforce that.

Also, please remind your dh that it is better to wait until after the first scan. I have had lots of miscarriages and would never want to explain to a five year old that the baby is 'gone'.

She also needs boundaries with her daughter.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 25/09/2023 18:28

Basically, before you tell anyone that you are pregnant at less than 14 weeks, ask yourself, "would I feel comfortable telling this person I had miscarried?" If the answer is anything other than "yes, because they would be supportive", don't tell them.

Can you go no contact or low contact with the narcissist relatives?

autienotnaughty · 25/09/2023 18:33

I wouldn't be telling anyone other than dh at 5 weeks. It's really early. But it's done, it's sad you haven't had a nicer reaction. Is there a reason your parents are unhappy?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 25/09/2023 18:37

aloris · 25/09/2023 18:00

I think your husband is the problem here. He is the one who insisted on telling her, thus placing you in a very awkward position if she (predictably) told everyone around her. He's an idiot if he thought a five year old would be able to keep a secret, and he's selfish for exposing you to all that negativity in your social circle so he wouldn't have to be discreet around her.

This.

I've read your update and you've hugged your daughter.

You said you want to gain control. The cat is out of the bag and so all you can do is deal with it now. That way you will gain control. I think someone earlier said just say Early days, don't want to discuss it atm. very firmly and move on.

You have a knotty ball of issues and can't fix them overnight but you can try unknotting them one by one.

Its clear that something happened at school. One minute you were friends with a group of mums - the next they all blanked you and you despise them. And you don't know why.

That really hurts, but I think you have to say to yourself, so what if they know? What are they going to do about it? The secret is out. Other than mention it. by tomorrow it will be really old news. If they are not that friendly anymore - they won't be that interested. Sad but true.
Unless you know someone who knows and will tell you, or ask one of them what happened, you won't find out. If it really bothers you, I don't think you have much to lose by asking. It might be something that can be fixed or you can cross it off your list of worries. If they are just mean girls and upset you, keep away from them and try not to think about them, it doesn't do you any good.

But bear in mind your daughter has to be in a class with these kids for the next 5 to 6 years and so it's better to be distant but civil. You don't need to be friends with them, but if your daughter can get along with them in school that is an advantage. But also helps her focus on other friends and activities outside of school.

I think if you know what your mother is like it was fairly obvious if she is a narc that she would behave this way and that this has upset you more than anything, but really if that is how she behaves and you know that in advance you need to distance yourself from her either physically or emotionally. You don't have to tell her much. Talk about the weather ( that's what I do with MIL, the weather, the latest News etc)

Finally. you need to sit down DH for a good chat on why he thought this was such a marvellous idea to tell everyone at just 5 weeks and why he didn't listen to you ( the actual pregnant person) when you said you didn't want to. And ask yourself if he often does this and perhaps think about what you want to do about that. It sounds like you don't have enough confidence in your own decisions and allow him to sway you, but he doesn't have to deal with the consequences in the same way that you do, so you have to listen more closely to your own inclinations and stand up for them.
I have noticed that some people have zero problem saying NO very very firmly and that this dissuades others from carrying on the argument. Maybe you need to practice this as there will be other issues coming up where you need to decide in advance what the best option is for YOU and then don't ask, tell. Advance planning is your friend. Decide how you want to spend your time in advance then people can't decide for you. Decide how you want your pregnancy to go in advance and so on. Obviously, if people are offering good advice (Doctors etc) then you need to listen, but if people are not listening to your opinion.. then you need to practice speaking up. That will make you feel more in control. Best of luck.

willingtolearn · 25/09/2023 18:45

@Kittylala So glad to hear you've given her a hug and understand it's not her fault.

We all make mistakes because we're stressed and upset - it's important for children to know that we have made a mistake and that we're sorry about it.

Hope you're feeling more settled and looking forward to your pregnancy.

I might have been a bit harsh, but I find it really hard when adult's punish children for not being as mature/capable as they think they should be.

Hankunamatata · 25/09/2023 18:47

5 week is totally premature. How on earth do you explain to a 5 year old if pregnancy doesn't work out

Neverwatchedgameofthrones · 25/09/2023 18:55

One day this will be a funny story you tell both the kids and laugh about it. There's nothing you can do no, it's either laugh or cry and crying isn't gonna change anything.

Bless you for having a leave of your senses!

hookiewookie29 · 25/09/2023 19:04

5 weeks is very early to tell anyone, never mind a 5 year old...

PandaExpress · 25/09/2023 19:06

You can't look at your 5 year old because you are so disappointed! That's so mean!! Don't you dare take it out on her or show her any ill feeling. She's 5 for God's sake! What did you expect?

1FootInTheRave · 25/09/2023 19:07

She is 5 ffs.

You sound hideous.

And btw, most people really don't give a fuck if you're pregnant. It isn't the big deal you clearly think.

Neekoh · 25/09/2023 19:53

Ah @Kittylala I thought this was made up so I was rather scathing in my first reply. Flowers

Young children are not mini-adults. They really can't be expected to think or act like adults would. It's too late now, what's done is done. But it wasn't her fault at all.

As pp said, you can gain some feeling of control in the situation by deciding not to let this worry you anymore.

Neekoh · 25/09/2023 19:54

Finally. you need to sit down DH for a good chat on why he thought this was such a marvellous idea to tell everyone at just 5 weeks and why he didn't listen to you ( the actual pregnant person) when you said you didn't want to. And ask yourself if he often does this and perhaps think about what you want to do about that. It sounds like you don't have enough confidence in your own decisions and allow him to sway you, but he doesn't have to deal with the consequences in the same way that you do, so you have to listen more closely to your own inclinations and stand up for them.
I have noticed that some people have zero problem saying NO very very firmly and that this dissuades others from carrying on the argument. Maybe you need to practice this as there will be other issues coming up where you need to decide in advance what the best option is for YOU and then don't ask, tell. Advance planning is your friend. Decide how you want to spend your time in advance then people can't decide for you. Decide how you want your pregnancy to go in advance and so on. Obviously, if people are offering good advice (Doctors etc) then you need to listen, but if people are not listening to your opinion.. then you need to practice speaking up. That will make you feel more in control. Best of luck.

The above from @DuckbilledSplatterPuff is also very sage advice.