Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

[Dadfromthesea]

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

Genius!!!

Love this thread, thanks for the laughs op. The motion detector spiders in the trees sound great 😂

😂😂😂

I like it reduce reuse recycle

And this year my aunt has gone onto my Facebook, specifically my profile pictures and for Christmas I got the following....

I raise you a friend who had a photo of her children printed on a vinyl wrap so it filled the entire wall. We're not talking a modest wall in the loo, more akin to the big screen at the IMAX 360 in her breakfast room.

Her children are delightful looking and credit for her parental love but the mammoth moony faces slightly resembled the stuff of nightmares.

The scariest suggestion by far 😆

I would just keep cutting it down every time it appears and not say a word.

And paint a message on it. Something along the lines of "I'm not your tree. Don't tie stuff to me."

Just keep cutting it down until they get the message they can’t attach things to your trees! Surely the trees themselves provide enough privacy!

Can I suggest just hiding out in the garden tonight (or watch from the window) and when they approach shout BOO full volume through a loud hailer?

😂🤣😂

Brownies, you say?

Paint the trees with anti climb paint and ' borrow ' their ladder.....along with the next tarp...and the next.

Add a smiley face at the end. Sorted.

Stand near the fence but wearing black so they can't see you and when they start hangjng tarp 4 whisper something really creepy. Watch them shit themselves.
Or you could watch from the house and when they arrive, shine a massive search light at them.

Looking forward to your diagram/ artistic rendition of the scene

Keep silently cutting them down. I can guarantee that they'll run out of sheets long before your scissors wear out.

Hang some of those Blair Witch corn dolly things to the trees

Ooo, on a chain that creaks with just the right amount of spooky ' creeeeeeek'

here to see what happens after deshrouding II happens!

Yes we are very lucky. Lots of lawn for the kids to run about barefooted, accidentally treading on wasps.

They want a 15ft diameter trampoline and one of those inflatable hot tubs. I’ve said no, with a forcefulness verging on the deranged. But I’ve resisted posting an AIBU thread on those matters because I have a nagging suspicion that I might actually be being unreasonable…

My in-laws have a 200ft garden. It’s like the bloody King’s. And whilst I have raised the issue of Shroud-gate on here this afternoon it’s not a patch on their garden neighbour problems. The woman at the back of their house literally murdered her husband. I won’t post the link from the news websites cos it’ll show where we live, but it certainly curtailed the barbecues round their place for a few weeks, i tell you that much.

Even better - combine the ideas.

Make the "dead body", then soak that in the anti-climb paint.

And, when they show up and try to move it, call the police saying you can see somebody moving what looks like a body...

Please write a book - I’m thinking a Thursday Murder Club type yarn but murdering wives and shroud stealers.

I'm certain you and I would be friends IRL. 😂

I think the trampoline and the hot tub are excellent ideas, so long as you put them as close as possible to the Indiana Joneses