Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

[Dadfromthesea]

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

2

Brilliant!

Ahem, you're not quite grasping the scale of what is possible. For further ideas (although I agree, like others, with the mature response upthread), please consult this:

I am 40 years old, I live with my DS who is 9. And this year my aunt has gone onto my Facebook, specifically my profile pictures and for Christmas I got the following....

1. A full length canvas print of me posing in a dress.
2. A mug with my face on.
3. A travel mug with my face on.
4. not one, BUT TWO cushions each of a close up OF MY FACE.
5. A FULL CALENDER EACH MONTH WITH A DIFFERENT PICTURE OF MY OWN FACE!

Now, who, IN THEIR RIGHT MIND HAS THEIR OWN FACE ON CUSHIONS! IMAGINE WHAT VISITORS WOULD THINK!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3783224-To-hide-these-items-unless-she-s-visiting

You need to paint “I Know What You Did” in large letters on the new tarp.

Plus the motion activated spiders, of course

OMG some of those videos are actually freaking me out a bit. Definitely don't go for the Graveyard Ghoul. You may cause a heart attack, and then if they were on the wrong side of the river, you'd have to dispose of the body. I suppose you have a tarp you could wrap it in.

Paint something innocuous in Hebrew on their side of it with random occult symbols thrown in

This is hilarious and you're a brilliant poster op! Keep the ladder, that's clearly a gift but also the conversation that would ensue when they ask for it back world be hilarious. Also i love the idea of you hanging pics of your faces , Perhaps also a banner stating tree ownership!

I sense a potential mn classic

Thanks to every single one of you for replying. I am chuckling away here at your collective madness (with ‘For goodness sake just go and talk to them’ being the maddest suggestion of all, by quite some distance).

The current situation is that Shroud II remains in situ. The DMZ is calm. It’s raining, so the status of the ladder is uncertain. That’s also why I can’t take photos. I would say we’re probably at DEFCON4, possibly 3.

My plan is to go out and chop it down tonight, after I’m back from Brownies with DD2. But I may be delayed because tonight’s Brownies activity involves both gluten and peanuts, which is just asking for trouble even though nobody’s said they’re allergic on the forms.

But assuming we escape the village hall without having to break open the epi-pens, I’m gonna lop it off later.

You need to paint “I Know What You Did” in large letters on the new tarp.

I was going to suggest WE ARE WATCHING YOU 😜

But I suppose that could be seen as threatening.

I haven't read the whole thread op... just came to congratulate you on the best named thread in a long while. I was laughing my head off just reading the title!

Your situation did not disappoint upon reading either... I'm still laughing...😂

In answer to your question you are not being unreasonable they are CF!

pfft amateurs, you need to cut down the tarp and make it into one of those dead body decorations, and just leave it hanging on the tree.

https://crazygreenthumbs.com/2018/10/31/how-to-make-a-bagged-dead-body-for-halloween/

a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission
That made me chuckle 😆

I wonder why they replaced it after you cut it down? Did they not think you’d cut the second one down too? (I assume you have?)

spray paint graffiti on it - "TWATFACE THIS IS ON MY PROPERTY"
remove it later if they don't

Ooow you could bring the brownies as an outdoor exercise 😂😂😂

I'm loving this thread 😂😂😂

Keep cutting the tarps down until you have 5 or 6, then taking the Brownies camping.

I like the dead body idea - tasteful - intermediate stage post graffiti maybe?

seems an odd time of the year to do it

To me, this appears to be a suitable, if not ideal, project for a Brownie troop on a Monday evening ..... just saying ..... 😁

You need to erect a huge projector screen above the fence on your side and project repeat episodes of Mrs brown’s Boys. That’s far scarier than a fake screaming witch

@ApolloandDaphne
I’m weeing at this 😂🤣

Can you attach a link, we all need these

your garden sounds amazing by the way - aside from the shroud soon to be hanging at the end.

Some peoples CFery knows no bounds! The very fact they are crossing their own boundary fence, a stream AND your boundary fence to do this is genuinely astonishing!

If I were you I'd stealthily set myself up in a camping chair surrounded by shrubbery and sit quietly (for hours if necessary) ready to spring into action to confront them when they enter my property. I'd film it too - and have a big fuck off torch to make sure I got their faces in the film.

Ain't that the truth 😂😂😂