Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

[Dadfromthesea]

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

cut 2 " of one leg of the ladder

I think you should cut the canvas thingy down, then sneak across ladder in the middle of the night and cable tie it to their fence and/or their seating unit.

Away with work atm… I shall be folllowing the bejesus out of this thread!

yea of course you could talk to them… but where’s the mumsnet fun in that?

Or, even better, just a really loud alarm and flashing lights that will wake up the whole neighbourhood, while they're up the tree.

This set me off on the train platform 🤣🤣🤣

Put a few 'No trespassing' signs up on your border fence.

I hope you'll be decorating your fir trees for halloween with spooky headless dolls etc.

oh for goodness sake just go and talk to them

Replace the stream with snakes?

And remove the ladder, of course.

Like bollocks we do

we need a photo.

Thank you for this thread. I've laughed out loud. MN at its best (and good luck OP).

Were they going to use the canvas to project movies on to? It’s bizarre that they put a big blank canvas sheet up 10 foot from their boundary and across a stream for privacy.

Ah love this thread OP so funny! @Medlady brilliant I will go halves with you. Why don’t the neighbours just cable tie the thing to their fence instead of your trees ? Where did they think the first tarpaulin had gone? Why does anyone need a tarpaulin in their garden? So many questions. Please keep us updated OP.

This!!

Oh please, please please get this!

I'll chip in!

I think you are safe from mafioso retaliation - they must be British and avoiding confrontation too surely as they just erected another canopy. What on earth do they think happened to the first one?

Is the stream definitely no-man's-land? Although the trees sound to be definitely in your garden so don't really understand how they can think this is ok

I'm confused. Is there a DMZ between your boundary & theirs? There's your garden, then a no man's land with a stream running through it, then their garden? Who owns the bit in the middle? And why did they leave the ladder there? And why would they just go & get another awning instead of asking you where it went? I'd be sooooo tempted to keep going, to see how many awnings they buy before they give up. Actually, since they didn't ask, are you sure it's their awning?

Questions, questions.

I think (but don't know for sure) that if they leave their stuff on someone else's private property, it counts as fly-tipping.

They probably thought the original one had blown down. Which it will do unless it is securely attached.

You can keep removing it, and they will never know it is you, they will think it is the wind. Wait different amounts of days before removing it.

This is the only possible way forward. Potentially installing a motion sensitive night camera

I hope they are not cutting the light to the stream (and therefore ruining the whole ecosystem in it)?

You could definitely paint your fence with anti-vandal paint. Along the top. Don't know if you have to put up advisory notices. Or if people would be able to read them in the dark.

I'd be doing one of two things:

A) be taking the new one down and pulling their ladder to your side of the river so they can't access your trees again without wading across; or

B) taking the canvas down, using the ladder to take it over to their side of the river, attaching it to their fence/trees before returning to your side of the river and waiting to see their reaction

Oh god please do

Yes!

@Dadfromthesea
Absolutely hilarious 🤣
Keep going, take the new one down and pinch the ladder too.
They can't bump you off twice 🤣