Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

[Dadfromthesea]

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

Build an enormous tree house in the conifers, complete with balcony overlooking the CFs, motion activated floodlights and multiple wind chimes. Then hold all future Brownie meetings there, like an evening time, sugar fuelled, loud singing forest school. That should clear up who owns the trees!

@Dadfromthesea I tell'ee now, this is gonna run to at least 3 threads. I seen it 'afore. This be a 3 threader, minimum. Could be a 5, 6? Ooo knows?

I think you might need to cut down the trees.

Just kidding.

What you need to do is borrow a chainsaw and rev it, loudly. Maybe cut off a teensy dead branch or two.

They will come running.

Loving this thread! Serious question, do they perhaps think the wooden fence is theirs and the mesh one yours so that the trees are in a no man’s land?

These may include hanging sacred tarpaulins as an acknowledgement of the Great Hymenaios.

The god of marriage ceremonies? Uh... you're not planning to rent out your patio and the bottom of the OPs garden as some sort of sylvan wedding venue are you?

I just don't get it. I assume they are hanging the tarps to obscure the view of the chainlink fence (what other possible reason could there be), but the tarp is an absolute eyesore!

So your neighbour's want a nice view from their seating area of the river, and are quite happy to block your view so they have privacy while sitting there, lol, cheeky indeed.

Maybe you could make a lovely screen for them? A long washing line with your smalls on would be perfect!

@Dadfromthesea
You know the law. Diagram please, looking down from the sky

@Dadfromthesea I really thought you were female until I read your updates. Great sense of humour, and writing style for a man.
Loved the Nigel Farage conscience in your diagram. This thread is priceless thank you.

PS. I will follow the rest of the saga!

This is an amazing thread. I am fully invested. Please keep us updated!!

The sensible thing is to check your deeds and once you know the situation write to them with a non inflammatory but serious letter via registered post informing them to remove everything from your property.

Confirm that you will instruct legal advice in 7 days if they do not comply.

Then if they don't, speak to a solicitor.

Diagram already posted by OP. It's got the moon and stars and everything!😊

Well that’s made my day
I am definitely in favour of a camouflage suit

Cut it down and put itching powder on the fence and trees lol

This. It happened to a relative of mine, CF neighbours assumed old broken wire fence was boundary when it actually had no relation to the real thing. Apparently didn't occur to them to look at the deeds. Needed some legal letters to get resolved.

Cracker thread. It's made my day!

🤣🤣 at the suggestion if greasing the rungs on the ladder.

The fact they're doing this is the dead of night means they know they are in the wrong to be trespassing on your land. Keep cutting it down. Or put a tall fence up so they can't do it....see how long it takes them to knock 😉

Not sure your description was completely consistent with the diagram! The diagram shows fir trees, then “our fence” then stream then their fence behind which is the seating area. I had assumed that “our fence” was the chain link fence.

It sounds from your description as though there is a chain link fence, then “our fence” which is the low wooden fence, then stream then their fence then their seating area. Is that right? So they are going over their fence, across the stream and then leaning over your fence to tie the thing to your chain link fence. I suspect they think (or have chosen to think!) that the chain link is the true boundary and that all the land beyond it is theirs. Convenient because of course they then get the stream.

Time to get the deeds out. The location of the fences doesn’t necessarily prove anything - like your chain link fence, their fence may be erected inside their boundary.

OP check the land registry, so you know where your boundary ends. It is pretty cheap to check. You may own the stream too, or they may own the stream.
Either way they don’t own your trees, but it seems that they think they do. Get down there now and chop the new one down. Think of it as your daily exercise.

the picture sheds new light: they are planning their own naked sex-pond shenanigans and don’t want OP to see them/join in. They think being green makes it invisible to OP.

For £3 each you should be able to get from Land Registry filed plans of both properties and also the stream.

I have a boundary that is beyond my fence, because it wasn’t possible to fix sturdy fence posts into a stream (my actual boundary) now a source of worry as the nutter that own the adjacent land is highly likely to think that my trees are hers, so I am having another fence put in on my actual boundary. It will be like the Berlin Wall out there, but nothing else I can do.

I hadn't even noticed that we had a Thanks button now.
Sorry, I'll do better in future!

the ninja mask on OP 😭😂