Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

1000 replies

Dadfromthesea · 25/09/2023 15:33

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
37
Workbabysleeprepeat · 25/09/2023 21:47

This is brilliant 😂😂😂

carly2803 · 25/09/2023 21:52

your neighbours are batshit

but this is hilarious

go on OP!!

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 25/09/2023 21:53

I just have to say that I love your sense of humour! Best bit is Nigel Farage’s conscience and the lyrics of a song xD

HisNibs · 25/09/2023 21:53

Possible solution?

Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden
SageRosemary · 25/09/2023 21:57

Is sock puppet the correct term when a person is running a thread and a counter-thread at the same time?

JudgeRudy · 25/09/2023 21:58

Cheeky Fkrs! I'd be setting up some sort of stealthy night cam and gathering Intel before I planned my next maneuver. I mean you're assuming it's them, as in the home owners, but it could well be friends of their teen/young children whilst parents are on holiday maybe...who knows. Depending on what you've got on I might also buy a ferocious dog bark alarm and set it off when they next come shouting Kill Tyson, Kill. Water pistols/bombs, a few fireworks...ha ha.

Mountaineer0009 · 25/09/2023 21:59

SageRosemary · 25/09/2023 21:57

Is sock puppet the correct term when a person is running a thread and a counter-thread at the same time?

not quite, but then only mumsnet can know via the ip address etc

LuciaPillson · 25/09/2023 22:00

SageRosemary · 25/09/2023 21:57

Is sock puppet the correct term when a person is running a thread and a counter-thread at the same time?

No, I believe the correct term is 'stealth weasel'.

Theunamedcat · 25/09/2023 22:03

Rig a plastic skellington in the tree and await the screaming

Oioicaptain · 25/09/2023 22:04

Surely all you need to do is remove a couple of the shroud ties so that it flaps temptingly in the wind, and add some non toxic wallpaper paste to the bank of the stream. And obviously move their ladder to your side of the bank, just to provide them with a little enrichment.

MadeForThis · 25/09/2023 22:05

😂😂

Blackandwhitemakesgrey · 25/09/2023 22:06

They are trying to claim the stream as theirs!!!

Crazy neighbours!

Jewelanemone · 25/09/2023 22:08

Duct tape a Brownie in a Scream mask to the in situ tarpaulin and wait for sunrise....

Oioicaptain · 25/09/2023 22:08

Or cut a couple of slots into the shroud and invite your local ornithologist club to come around to your new hide to spot the pair of juvenile kingfishers!

dimsumfatsum · 25/09/2023 22:10

This has to be one of the funniest threads I've read on here- loving your diagram OP!

sunshine1201 · 25/09/2023 22:11

😂😂😂

allaroundthelamplight · 25/09/2023 22:19

SageRosemary · 25/09/2023 21:57

Is sock puppet the correct term when a person is running a thread and a counter-thread at the same time?

No. Sock puppeting is when they name change to talk to themselves on their own thread, to make out people are agreeing with them usually.

Totaly · 25/09/2023 22:24

Put the scissors down and pick up a light - light weight OP!

EmmaEmerald · 25/09/2023 22:26

OP I absolutely love your writing and this line is the 🎤Icing on the Cake🎤

"And when I held it in my arms, I felt like Fred Astaire"

UsernameNotAvailableArghh · 25/09/2023 22:27

write messages on the spare shroud and keep switching them. You should be able to get 4 messages along the lines of ‘cheeky fuckers’

Then change your Wi-Fi code to ‘do not touch my fucking trees’

CarolinaInTheMorning · 25/09/2023 22:32

I also thought it was a kind of canopy, but it appears to be a curtain of some sort. Very odd indeed. Keep us posted, OP.

allaroundthelamplight · 25/09/2023 22:32

Theunamedcat · 25/09/2023 22:03

Rig a plastic skellington in the tree and await the screaming

What's a skellington?

Bazinga007 · 25/09/2023 22:33

Love the map x

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread