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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden

1000 replies

Dadfromthesea · 25/09/2023 15:33

This is making me seethe and chuckle in equal measure.

At the end of our garden are some big old fir trees, then the boundary fence. After that there’s a little stream, and if you kept going you’d find the fence of the people who live in the house behind (let’s call them Mr and Mrs Jones), then their back garden.

The Joneseseses have just bought a big seating unit thing and plonked it at the back end of their garden (the bit nearest us). It’s about 10ft from my boundary fence and a good 70ft from the back of my house - we’re lucky to have a big garden - and there’s the fir trees as well which make it a pretty thick barrier.

But they decided they want some privacy and put up a big canvass barrier. Fair enough, I don’t care.

Except…

They’ve tied it to our fir trees!

They’ve clambered over their own fence, slung a ladder (an actual LADDER) over the stream, scrambled up the bank, and cable tied the bloody thing to our trees! Without so much as a word!

They did it in the dead of night! Came down the other day to discover the bloody Shroud of Turin cable tied to my trees! The ladder was still there on the bank of the stream.

So obviously, being British and terrified of confrontation, I did the natural thing of not mentioning it to them but instead cutting the fucker down. It’s now in my garage.

And they’ve replaced it with another!! It arrived overnight this morning!

Just to be clear - I don’t care that they want to shield themselves from us. It’s a dark green thing so I can barely even see it. But I can see it, and I do care that they’ve gone on a bloody Navy SEAL Commando mission, twice, to my garden to put the bloody thing up!

Yes I could go and talk to them but a) I’ve never said a word to them before b) they might kill me and c) this is funnier.

But tell me I ANBU please.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
37
TicTacNicNak · 25/09/2023 22:35

Get a few of these fake ship canons and stick them to the stream side of your fence.

Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden
noodlezoodle · 25/09/2023 22:37

I think I love you OP.

Also not the point of this thread but I had no idea you could buy a ghillie suit for the very reasonable price of 70 quid. I might have to get one for festivals and special occasions.

HobnobbingAboutHobnobs · 25/09/2023 22:37

DH is getting grumpy that I'm giggling so hard in bed when he's trying to sleep. I haven't laughed so much in ages, and it felt great!
Can't wait to find out if a third one appears overnight...
Not sure which made me laugh most, the temple of doom badge or the tarp covered cats...

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/09/2023 22:38

I think I would use one of the sheets and put it back up.

But painted with "THANKS FOR THE GIFT!!!! NOW STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY GARDEN YOU CHEEKY CUNTS"

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 25/09/2023 22:40

BeastOfBODMAS · 25/09/2023 15:37

YANBU.

can you grease the middle rungs of the ladder?

🤣🤣

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/09/2023 22:40

OH the fake canons!!

A motion sensor to play the 1812 overture full blast complete with massive canon blasts!

Or just a trip wire that sets of one of those birthday canon things.....those fuckers are LOUD!!!!

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/09/2023 22:41

allaroundthelamplight · 25/09/2023 22:32

What's a skellington?

Dont be a dick.

HouseOfRunners · 25/09/2023 22:44

Shamelessly marking place for update tomorrow…😳

Mountaineer0009 · 25/09/2023 22:44

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/09/2023 22:41

Dont be a dick.

there is usually one

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 25/09/2023 22:45

The fucking gall of some people! They want to enjoy the bucolic stream in privacy. They've put benches close to the stream (may or may not be a risk, are they on their property or public land?). But to ensure that you don't see them, they've blocked YOUR view of and access to the stream (albeit through the trees) by attached their tarp to YOUR trees!

You just have to put benches down across the stream from them. Go and sit on them, facing them, each and every time you see them there. Play music. Practice violin down there. Or the glockenspiel.

Wankers.

(Yes I'm irrationally angry, and no that's not just because I'm a woman in menopause).

Confusedmeanderings · 25/09/2023 22:46

I can't wait for the next installment!

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 25/09/2023 22:46

You are not the first person recently to call a suggestion "baroque". But what does it mean??

renovationheavenandhell · 25/09/2023 22:51

oh my word this is hilarious, bananas absolutely, please tell me you’ve cut it down again??

Mountaineer0009 · 25/09/2023 22:51

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 25/09/2023 22:46

You are not the first person recently to call a suggestion "baroque". But what does it mean??

at a guess

from wikipedia
"By the mid-19th century, art critics and historians had adopted the term "baroque" as a way to ridicule post-Renaissance art. "

i presume the same meaning but ridiculing ideas etc

weirdoboelady · 25/09/2023 22:54

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 25/09/2023 22:46

You are not the first person recently to call a suggestion "baroque". But what does it mean??

If this is a serious question....

Here's a picture of a baroque organ. I think that tells you all you need to know. If it doesn't, and you like internet rabbit holes, Google the Telemann Methodische Sonaten. These are sonatas by Telemann where he shows the original simple melodic line, and how he would perform it in a baroque style - incredibly heavy beautiful ornamentation so that the original line is hardly discernable!

Neighbours Indiana Jones-ing their way into our garden
ErrolTheDragon · 25/09/2023 22:58

Or this from the wiki page :
The Baroque style used contrast, movement, exuberant detail, deep colour, grandeur, and surprise to achieve a sense of awe.

This thread (and its counterpart) seem to satisfy many of these characteristics.Grin

CatherineCawoodsScarfv2 · 25/09/2023 22:58

OP’s posts are wonderful and the diagram magnificent.

Let’s not overlook @DebussytoaDiscoBeat ’s comment, though:

it's the ghost of Nicholas Parsons doing Sail of the Century.
**

Edit: with the Anglia riding up and down the stream to protect your boundary.

(Perhaps you have to be old to understand this)

HeckyPeck · 25/09/2023 23:00

Looking forward to seeing if no. 3 goes up overnight 🌲⬜🌲

Jellybean23 · 25/09/2023 23:02

OP, what will you do when the garage is full of sheets? 😯

Mountaineer0009 · 25/09/2023 23:03

Jellybean23 · 25/09/2023 23:02

OP, what will you do when the garage is full of sheets? 😯

a sheet party

Watchingthegp · 25/09/2023 23:05

Mountaineer0009 · 25/09/2023 23:03

a sheet party

🤦🏼‍♀️😜

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/09/2023 23:07

I would start a "Birthday Message" service with the sheets. People can paint a birthday message on one, hang it on YOUR trees, facing their house of course, and get their photo taken underneath it. Then it will be posted on your local FB page. FOC naturally!

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 25/09/2023 23:11

What are they up to that they don’t want you to see…?!!!

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