To think that disabled people are hated?

[AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman]

Yes, I know that it was apparently very uplifting when I was planning a party for my disabled DS and his classmates from special school. When I was putting in all the hard work by myself to make it happen it was admirable and my DS and his friends were adorable.

But there have been so many threads here complaining about the way disabled children use up resources- in school, in clubs, in sports. So much hatred for the fact that disability is sometimes, inadequately, accommodated. So much blame and disdain for parents of disabled kids. So much anger at the unfairness and injustice(!) being suffered by the ‘normal’ kids, the functioning kids, the able kids when they are forced to encounter a disabled peer.

AIBU to think that this is people showing their true colours; that in fact the world is as full of hatred for disabled people as I’ve always feared?

This ignorance and ablism continues into the world of work. My company has amazing equality and diversity policies, but the amount of managers who don't do the training is astounding. I experienced this first hand and it made me very mentally ill. Some colleagues see reasonable adjustments as a perk, not a need and legal right.

I'm doing a lot of work now to make sure that no one else has to experience what I did, but I'm seeing the same thing over and over again.

As for PIP, I'd qualify even though to others, I seem to cope with life fine. However, I struggle with housework, feeding myself and day to day self care, never mind bigger stuff like doing the garden or decorating a room. I'm working up to applying as I know that mentally, it's going to be tough.

There was a thread recently where a poster said disabled people should show a bit more gratitude

As for PIP, I'd qualify even though to others, I seem to cope with life fine. However, I struggle with housework, feeding myself and day to day self care, never mind bigger stuff like doing the garden or decorating a room. I'm working up to applying as I know that mentally, it's going to be tough.

Yes. Same. On the surface I appear to manage very well. Underneath its anything but. The level of anxiety I have about things that normal people would just roll their eyes at me about is debilitating. To mitigate, I have to plan and work up to doing basically anything. Going to the supermarket, taking the rubbish out, getting my hair done, going to work, anything social. Basically, leaving the house. I don’t have kids or a partner because I can’t cope with or maintain those relationships. I don’t really have friends…..just one or two that I work up to seeing for dinner every few months.

ALL of my energy goes on attempting to maintain / keep myself in employment because I have a mortgage and bills to pay.

Yep. The disability Olympics. Who wins?

At what point do there have to be ways to assess it in place, and criteria that should be met. Because otherwise the needs of one take precedence over the needs of the majority.

That's why quite often, the terms ND or disability become meaningless and there do have to be some kinds of ways to judge and provide for adjustments in place.

There's this misconception that there are more disabled people around now. Not so long ago, people with disabilities were hidden away from a very young age in institutions. There was no help for families or any thought to integrate into society.
I was a support worker for a while and a few of the people I worked for were brought up in those institutions. So you can see, this happened in our lifetime.
I'm now a parent to a child with DS. Thankfully, I became a parent with my eyes wide open.
She is my absolute reason for living. It hasn't been easy fighting for the support that she needs. Thankfully, things are changing, albeit very slowly.

There are definitely more ND or ND diagnosed people around now than in the past.

A recent thread discussed this. You have teachers and SENCOs on these threads saying as many as 20-40% of children in their classes are deemed SEN. School statistics back this up.

It was never the case that 20-40% of the childhood population were in institutions. Never. Nowhere even near.

"There was a thread recently where a poster said disabled people should show a bit more gratitude"

That one crops up all the time often accompanied by a tale of a nice disabled person they know who is properly grateful and would never dream of doing anything that might put their own needs first.

@Carebearstare12e That's because diagnosis is better now.

I feel very judged as a disabled person with Sen dc who can’t work. I’m seen as a drain on society and even had a doctor once ask me why I had children knowing I’d struggle and they’d likely have issues too ???

"A recent thread discussed this. You have teachers and SENCOs on these threads saying as many as 20-40% of children in their classes are deemed SEN. School statistics back this up.

Having SEN doesn't mean a child is ND. It means they need extra support with learning at that point.

I know, that’s why I specifically said violent SEN children..

I worked for 15 years with people who had a variety of different disabilities. I slept in their houses, I got to know their families, I fought alongside them for very basic support that most of us will take for granted.
Diagnosis is a lot better now. Not so long ago, these children would have been considered unruly, and unteachable.

This has been studied pretty well when it comes to autism. It's simply not the case that the increase is caused solely by more diagnosis. I haven't looked into the others but it's highly unlikely they're different.

Not only that, there are teachers, plenty of them, who've been teaching long enough and who'll tell you that the rates have increased massively in just the last 10 years. And they're not talking about rates of diagnosis, they're talking about actual incidence as witnessed first hand in the classroom.

The increase in the rate of SEN includes an increase in the rate of ND children who have SEN.

@Pollyputhekettleon
There are numerous factors involved including what has been described as an autism diagnosis epidemic.
What is definitely known though, is that children, not so long ago, were not being diagnosed.

It's gone from one extreme to the other.

If anyone's interested, have a look at the

deinstitutionalization movement.

I think in general yanbu. However if you're referring to the inclusive schools thread from yesterday, I don't think that was the point of the thread. More that due to a depletion of resources over the years, teachers are not equipped to teach 30 kids with completely different educational needs spanning the entirety of the scale in one class with no support, and that all children are suffering because of this

There might be something in that in my town we have two special primary school!s and two.special.high school.s ,one of the primary and one if the high schools are for children with moderate to severe learning disabilities most of whom are also autistic and the other primary school.and secondary school,is for children who have severe to.profound learning disabilities again most also have a diagnosis of autism ,all four schools have had to.double their capacity in The last few years
We also have a couple of primary schools and a couple of high schools who.have ASD hubs for children with autism who don't have additional learning disabilities but need more support then msinstream.alone can offer.

But even then generally the violence will be due to unmet needs. It may well be that with the right support in place that child can thrive in mainstream school. Or it may mean they would be better supported in specialist.

but using “violence” as a descriptor doesn’t really show the whole picture.

I do think it’s not so much hatred but rather ignorance or indifference . I also think there’s more of a problem with the more invisible conditions such as adhd or autism, people really don’t understand these conditions and tend to judge different behaviours.
My daughter has learning difficulties and uses a wheelchair. We were at a hotel and concert at the Hydro in Glasgow last night . People were so kind and helpful, opening doors for me, offering to carry my luggage, and most importantly talking to my daughter and asking if she’d had a good time this morning . Also in East London getting on and off buses and generally getting around . Thank you lovely Glaswegians and Londoners

We went in May and this wasn't our experience at all.

We were able to get on the rides almost immediately - we did have SOME waiting . So if it has changed, it will have only just changed.

No I don't think there's much hatred for disabled people (adults and children). I think the majority of parents prioritise their own children's welfare. I think the majority of people are prepared to 'chip in' to make the world a better place for disabled people but feel that making it a truly equitable world is unrealistic and a step too far.
I'd imagine it's always been this way and is universal.

The number of people applying for disability benefits has increased hugely in the last few years.