To think that disabled people are hated?

[AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman]

Yes, I know that it was apparently very uplifting when I was planning a party for my disabled DS and his classmates from special school. When I was putting in all the hard work by myself to make it happen it was admirable and my DS and his friends were adorable.

But there have been so many threads here complaining about the way disabled children use up resources- in school, in clubs, in sports. So much hatred for the fact that disability is sometimes, inadequately, accommodated. So much blame and disdain for parents of disabled kids. So much anger at the unfairness and injustice(!) being suffered by the ‘normal’ kids, the functioning kids, the able kids when they are forced to encounter a disabled peer.

AIBU to think that this is people showing their true colours; that in fact the world is as full of hatred for disabled people as I’ve always feared?

Sorry but by saying anyone who showing any “violence” shouldn’t be in mainstream without acknowledging the wider issues is writing them off.

What do you mean 'writing them off'? Unfortunately violence is violence, I absolutely felt for the stress of the child and the parents of the child in my dc's class who was struggling, but I was more concerned for my 5 yo who was coming home with bite marks on their face, a black eye from being poked in the eye, multiple deep scratch marks.
All school ever said was 'little one needs to learn when to move away' they finally intervened when LO was violently pushed off a chair smacking their head of a bookcase.
Small school so we all knew each other.
The parents of this child were devastated and struggling for any help, but while mainstream kept accepting them there was nothing parents or school could do.

@MyHornCanPierceTheSky - school should enable all children to access education. If a child is so distressed they're hurting other children, they're not able to access education. If a child is being hurt, they're not able to access education.

The fault is not with the other child, it's with the lack of support.

There is no such thing as free speech. The law in the UK makes it clear that hate speech and offensive language / discrimination is ILLEGAL. Dressing up hate and intolerance as "free speech" is disgusting.

And for your information, who the hell told you that disabled people "disproportionately take but never put back"? Out of interest, what are you putting back? Because i am a person with disabilities, and i will lay bets that what i am "putting back" right now in terms of my taxes is probably more than you are. I have paid taxes for decades, never had free childcare or used UK schools etc., etc despite paying taxes and NI for over four decades.

Empathy? You don't know the meaning of the word.

Weaponised aids is an zmazing idea, you can have my cattleprod wheelchair aid design free of charge if you'll put it into production.

I can just imagine the dragons den episode.

So it's not just kids born into poverty you dislike? (See the inclusion thread) it's kids with send who aren't having their needs met too?!

I mean, I'm also into witch burning, ducking, and compulsory sterilization. By tomorrow morning I'll be telling 5 year olds that Santa's not real. It's a tough job but someone's got to do it.

Right @Cubic and @BrontëParsonage your chat about violence and hurting people you feel have wronged you is to be seen as totally funny is it?

Why is saying what's going on re the violence that's been seen in primary schools is unfair to everyone so wrong? What's wrong with@Pollyputhekettleon has said how it's unfair for all the current system?

I think it’s pretty clear by now that Polly just wants to be goady and say the most shocking things she can get away with. It would be better to ignore her. She’s done an admirable job of proving me right in my suspicions so I suppose she’s served a purpose.

Removing children from mainstream because they have shown violence is wrong. If a child is violent, they aren't having their needs met. This isn't the child's fault.

@Cubic so what's the answer? 2 lots of distressed kids one being violent the other being injured?

I'm not sure it is as simple as saying removing children from mainstream school because they are violent is wrong.

Because having a situation where other children are getting badly hurt repeatedly is also wrong.

It isn't always about fault. Someone doesn't have to be at fault for a situation not to be working. There isn't a one size fits all answer.

Children and teachers shouldn't be being assaulted and learning constantly disrupted. In the same way that children with extra support needs shouldn't be left to sink or swim.

Sometimes the least worst option may be to remove the child with violent behavior from the situation that they plainly aren't thriving in. This isn't a moral judgment on anyone.

You'd think that would an uncontroversial point of view. But no...

No both children having their needs met.

If a child is repeatedly violent why are they being repeatedly triggered? Why hasn't someone asked what is happening to cause this sort of reaction? Is it a build up during the day, noise, work aimed at the wrong level, not enough visuals, problem with working memory, sensory needs, etc? Why hasn't something been put into place to stop them getting to that point?

Removing them isn't the right solution and expelling a child with send for something related to their send is unlawful.

There is utter contempt dripping from some people’s posts on here. They cannot wait to allude to “over diagnosis aka “you’re probably exaggerating” and “benefits are too easy to get” aka “you’re probably exaggerating here too”.

It might seem subtle but it isn’t.

I know some of the people on this thread are going to say it isn’t hatred but it is. If you mention ableist abuse, they’ll counter you with “oh but my hairdresser’s neighbour’s dog walker’s niece claims PIP for a bad back and she runs 3 marathons per week”. What the heck has that got to do with me describing my experience of being regularly verbally abused when legitimately and legally using a blue badge space? I am visibly physically disabled so I have endless empathy for those who have non visible disabilities.

No, it’s totally not, I stand suitably chastened and I will remind my blind child that not only should they have to withstand the daily humiliations by the more important and alpha able-bodied in society but they/we should never actually try to cope with the paucity of our lot in life by indulging in humour, dark or otherwise. Thank you for pointing out the error of our ways.

It’s dark humour to deflect from the grim reality that they / their loved ones have experienced abuse, ableism and hate crimes. Never mind, eh? Let’s worry about them hypothetically poking someone with a stick. Much more important than the pesky disabled person.

I became disabled in my 30s, and my son was born with disabilities. It's shit, exhausting and draining how you have to fight for everything. I think that disabled people are just an after thought.

Obviously, your dark HYPOTHETICAL humour on the internet is way worse than your child experiencing actual real abuse. The hypothetical person in the hypothetical scenario is the one who deserves the empathy, not your child.

OK, we're all horrible evil people, you can use your HYPOTHETICAL dark humour to laugh at the violence that some children are experiencing and everyone else is a shit for not engaging.
Again, it's a case of sod your child, how dare you not prioritise mine.
Although I expect you feel the same.

This cracked me up, I was beginning to scratch my head and wonder who exactly should feel sorry for who/whom (pedants, please feel free to join in on the pile/on! 😜

@MyHornCanPierceTheSky why are you reducing the discussion to disabled children = violent children? The starting title of the thread is ‘to think that disabled people are hated’. You are single-handedly doing a very convincing impression of someone who genuinely believes that disabled people are and should be hated.

I did trial a lance on front of my mobility scooter at a Fantasy event earlier this year, sadly it wasn’t a fair trial as everyone there was totally accepting of all sorts of disabilities / NDs / quirks / oddments and all manner of other things; but maybe it needs a more real life test…..

YANBU

i read a great post a while back on a thread about an autistic girl who’d been treated appallingly by police when she was brought home from a night out.

Someone (I can’t remember which poster but whoever they are they’re brilliant) said that people like the inspirational disabled people who are visibly disabled and have heart wrenching stories and people to advocate for them and fundraise etc. Celebs line up to take a picture with them, and we all gush when they’ve done something charitable. Which is great - but very rarely do people treat those with ‘hidden’ disabilities in the same way. Especially girls with autism who display the traits that can come across to the ignorant eye as brattish or gobby. In fact they go the opposite way more often than not.

It’s a real problem in our society and I seriously worry for disabled people. We need to rewrite in the public’s mind that hat a disabled person is and who qualifies - the ableism I see IRL and online is horrific