To think that disabled people are hated?

[AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman]

Yes, I know that it was apparently very uplifting when I was planning a party for my disabled DS and his classmates from special school. When I was putting in all the hard work by myself to make it happen it was admirable and my DS and his friends were adorable.

But there have been so many threads here complaining about the way disabled children use up resources- in school, in clubs, in sports. So much hatred for the fact that disability is sometimes, inadequately, accommodated. So much blame and disdain for parents of disabled kids. So much anger at the unfairness and injustice(!) being suffered by the ‘normal’ kids, the functioning kids, the able kids when they are forced to encounter a disabled peer.

AIBU to think that this is people showing their true colours; that in fact the world is as full of hatred for disabled people as I’ve always feared?

I think you're right. The world is becoming less tolerant and more intent on trying to get disabled people to conform to a "normal" and therefore "fair" society. I saw it at a merlin attraction this month. They are making it harder for disabled people to access their rides and quite clearly don't give a fuck.

I'm confident that it is all in aid of reducing queue times for the able bodied guests. But what doesn't seem to be recognised is queuing can be extremely difficult for many people with disabilities. Life is extremely difficult for many people with disabilities.

My own son struggles for a variety of reasons. He struggles every single day and he will for the rest of his life.

Merlin now want to exclude him from something he loves because of his disability to make it fair to everyone. Where is the fairness to him, because I only see discrimination.

@GeorgiaGirl52 I've reported your post. Your language to describe autistic children is horrific. Take it from a mother of a non verbal autistic child. I use his DLA to pay for speech therapy because the NHS will not help him. I'm desperate for him to talk and I'm doing everything I can. His brain doesn't function like a NT person and he does have meltdowns. It's a balancing act every day.

So how very dare you come onto this thread and berate parents and children who have these very real challenges day in day out. You haven't lived it. It may be your opinion but honestly walk in someone else's shoes for years on end and then come back and use that language again. Disgraceful.

Yep, it's fucking awful. I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user/use crutches. Without support I can't walk more than 10 feet and even then I'm at risk of collapse. But I've been yelled at for using disabled bays (despite my blue badge). I'm constantly trying to explain why I'm struggling to find work (I want to, but my condition has worsened so I'm back at uni trying to retrain into something I can do from a bed). People are so damn nasty. I've been stepped on in my wheelchair and spat at. It makes me frightened to go outside. I use my PIP for my chair and for treatment and equipment and I have to fight every few years for the right for that and any vague quality of life. Cos I'm suddenly going to make a miraculous recovery. Argh!!

I've also just reported that post.

I would report @GeorgiaGirl52 post but I think it's a very good example of how awful and prejudiced people are & we should see these people for who they are.
Not a shred of empathy there. Just nothing.

The NHS provides testing for pregnant women and their unborn babies.
PGT testing doesn't provide any information on ADHD or autism.

It is free and legal to have an abortion in the UK should you want one, unlike large parts of the USA.

Lack of prenatal choice is not an issue in the UK.

I do think that the feeling of scarcity is used against people who are disabled as well as other vulnerable groups.

Try being old, disabled and female. 🤬

@GeorgiaGirl52 which genes specifically should be examined for autism?

Actually, let me broaden my question:
Which genes would you be examining when trying to avoid having a 'feral' child?

@ADHDat43 I think you specifically mean, to quote the esteemed Georgia, "non-verbal and feral". Lest us not forget Georgia's objection to NHS money being spent on non-verbal children.

@CherryCone of course! Sorry @GeorgiaGirl52: which are the genes associated with speech? You must know them, considering how confident you are that genetic screening has basically removed the 'problem' of these children in the US??

YANBU and I hate to be the bitter disabled adult but... if you think its bad now, when they're kids, wait until they are no longer cute adorable children.

Because those non-existant accomodations, organisations, charities etc etc... that good will you're struggling to find..

That will all fuck off as soon as they are adults. Whether you actually had that or not.

As soon as you're a disabled adult, you are a burden, an expense on the nation, probably shirking, need to be 'encouraged' into work (good luck with that, employers do not want us beyond box ticking exercises, particularly if theres a hint of chronic illness)...

People think we're 'entitled' and when we kick off and try to defend our rights and the things previous generations of disabled people fought for, we're told to shut up, share nicely, stop being so sensitive.

If you're visibily disabled, you'll be discriminated against before people even speak to you - it will be assumed you're not capable, stupid, that you're going to demand too much, you're going to be 'a problem' or 'difficult', that you're feckless, lazy, have brought it on yourself.

If you're NOT visibly disabled then when you speak up you'll be told you're a liar, a cheat, it's all in your head, its the latest trend...

You may well find that accessing proper medical care is difficult (wheelchair users particularly find this, I can't speak for others but I bet they do too) - we tend to have reams of notes no one has read, with pertinent information not passed on (even obvious stuff like 'wheelchair user'... not even talking about the obscure stuff)...

Organisations and places you'd expect to be accessible are not (hospitals, dentists, physiotherapy clinics, opticians).

We have to fight the hardest and shout the loudest for what we need and we're the least capable of doing so.

Covid was a grim eye-opener - at a time when getting food was difficult, and we were asked to stay at home - did our government use the data they hold on us via GP's, social services, the benefits system - to identify who needed help?

No! They left it to supermarkets who used their commercial data to identify those 'in need' which were the wealthy elderly who shop mostly online.

Fuck the rest of us oh and we'll have your parking spots too, no thought of putting temporary ones elsewhere.

Lifts out of use, accessible toilets closed, the message was clear - stay home, shut up, and ideally die quietly without overburdening the NHS or making a fucking fuss.

And we did of course because we knew we were first against the wall if anyone needed switching off!

@ADHDat43 @CherryCone don't forget she had "one" in the family. Disgusting way to speak about a deceased family member.

I don't agree, and it's not just towards children. Take a look at the regular line up of threads about "they get all this money/ they are all frauds / blue badge spaces should be for everyone" just on MN. Irl many people may not say out loud what they think because they fear being judged for the vile people they are, but they think it. Given the chance it spews out. Then MN moderators say "don't worry disabled folk, it isn't a big deal because you can educate them" when it's reported.

I freely admitted that the US experience was different from the UK and that I had no personal experience with living with a disabled child. Also,, the terms I used were terms I learned on Mumsnet.
OP asked if people hated disabled people/children. I tried to explain (obviously poorly) that what I read was not hatred for the person but resentment for the amount of money and resources spent on/provided for/invested in disabled people. If I repeated or quoted out of context, then I apologize.
I never claimed genetic expertise, but when my daughter got pregnant at 38, her obstetrician recommended that test among others so she could "know what to expect and decide what she could handle."

Robotalkingrubbish I am old, disabled, and female. I leave my home only for medical appointments about twice a year. You people on Mumsnet are my window to the world.

All of what you said is true its typical tory policy "look we are cracking down on benefits and encouraging work" often overlooking the facts, you need to be qualified, the employer is willing to help appointments etc, being computer literate, mh problems when anxiety and depression are crippling and you can't face talking your family never mind the expectation of functioning in a communative level that an employer would rightly expect. Rishi sunak said "work transforms lives" for me wasn't far away from another phrase used above the entrance of a camp in Poland "work sets you free".

What on earth are they doing and is there a petition against it?!

It's not helped by professionals making assumptions that because a child has particular disabilities, they must be doing or not doing certain things and if a parent says otherwise, the parent is lying.
Due to unavoidable family circumstances we have had heavy involvement from health and social care recently and the amount of discriminatory attitude from them has been unbelievable.

What test @GeorgiaGirl52?

Actually a lot of it on Mumsnet. Especially towards men who may be neurodiverse. And how they're icky, creepy, immature etc
There was a tricky one with this woman complaining about a selfish neighbour who was stopping her sleeping.
Also, there seems to be a general consensus that disabled people have easier lives. Noticed that at school

I don’t hate disabled people. I am not physically disabled but I am neurodivergent. What I hate is that there is no funding to properly support the autistic children I work with mainstream school.
They are constantly triggered by their environment, their peers and the adults who can’t let them do the unsafe things they’re driven to do. I am being hit, kicked, strangled, bitten and bruised on a daily basis because we can’t meet their needs, their peers are also being hurt and they are hurting themselves. Do I hate them? No. It’s not their fault. The system is fucked. No one is able to get their needs met, ND or NT no one is a winner in this situation. I want to be able to keep all of our pupils safe regardless of their abilities, I want to be able to keep myself and my colleagues safe. I want to create environments where everyone has the opportunity to learn and develop. The current system is fucked. That’s what I hate with a passion. Not any child or adult with a disability.

Cancelling out a view you don't like is not the answer on a thread discussing why people are intolerable of disabled people . Unpalatable to you or not it stifles debate and there will be others who share Georgias views .

There you go @AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman proof right on the thread. Parents should have aborted their disabled children to stop them using up all the resources.
reported @GeorgiaGirl52 ‘s horrible post

@hattie43 yes you are right. I saw that post and I saw red. Obviously, misjudged as my son doesn't read Mumsnet (he can't read full stop). But to have someone say "feral" about disabled children (or adults) is horrific and I was offended and upset.

I love my son to pieces and the secondary message of I could have just aborted him hurt further.

Lastly, the notion that I'm lucky I get DLA funding for him just baffles me. I lost a good friend who couldn't see that I will always be financially worse off then their two income family. I am a single mum of a disabled child. DLA doesn't make up a whole extra income and it isn't mine. It is my son's to provide therapies and support /supplies for him.