To think that disabled people are hated?

[AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman]

Yes, I know that it was apparently very uplifting when I was planning a party for my disabled DS and his classmates from special school. When I was putting in all the hard work by myself to make it happen it was admirable and my DS and his friends were adorable.

But there have been so many threads here complaining about the way disabled children use up resources- in school, in clubs, in sports. So much hatred for the fact that disability is sometimes, inadequately, accommodated. So much blame and disdain for parents of disabled kids. So much anger at the unfairness and injustice(!) being suffered by the ‘normal’ kids, the functioning kids, the able kids when they are forced to encounter a disabled peer.

AIBU to think that this is people showing their true colours; that in fact the world is as full of hatred for disabled people as I’ve always feared?

Ignorance. Impatience. Selfishness

100% my DC has ASD and SLD and quite often, either stared at, or being treated like they are fucking contagious. One of the many reasons I've changed so much and become an introvert. I just cannot be bothered with the ableism in society anymore. People's nasty comments on my DC, me, my parenting, as if I've somehow caused the disabilities. Then comments on being a benefits scrounger because I've yet to find a job to accommodate caring for DC and often needing to leave at short notice. I've given up really. So I sympathise completely. Thankfully my DC is blissfully unaware.

Can you get another doctor? This stuff from the medical profession is extremely common for people with chronic illnesses but there are some good ones out there.

I think I’ll have to try. I need some form of official diagnosis

That has been my experience of the adult ADHD SM support groups too. Sometimes, by people who have been assessed by the NHS but not diagnosed with ADHD anyway but lots sharing tips on how to get PIP.

I agree that ND and disability aren't always one and the same and can lose meaning anyway.

Most people find you have to be extremely assertive, which of course is exceptionally difficult when you're ill. But by and large they won't help you otherwise.

“I’m glad I was taught that the world wasn’t going to bend to my will and I would have to navigate the parts of it I found tough.”

This couldn’t be more ignorant.

I think you might be onto something with this comment. Because the term ‘disabled’ is used to describe such a range of conditions it has watered it down so people eye roll when another person demands something based on their non visual disability.

It’s my experience. It can’t possibly by ignorant, by definition - it’s informed by experience.

Why aren't invisible disabilities valid?

She didn't say that invisible disabilities were invalid, whatever 'invalid' means.

Just to give the opposite perspective. I am disabled and I find that people often go out of their way to help, whereas they would not for an able bodied person. To give one example, if I am waiting to cross a road (one without a pedestrian crossing), drivers will often slow down and wave me across, whereas they would speed straight past an able bodied person waiting to cross.

Are invisible disabilities valid? I’m sure many are perfectly valid within the realm of PIP etc, but from the standpoint of the average Joe we all know that there are a new wave of adult ASD and ADHD diagnoses coming through on top of the child ASD and ADHD diagnosis on top of the range of physical and mental disabilities on top of the people who just don’t want to work and will lie about back pain. There’s so much of it and social media is making anxiety and mental illness so much worse that the need for adjustments and financial help is only going to get more acute unfortunately.

What do you mean by invalid? Are you claiming that, say, autism doesn't exist?

Yes, to this^ plus some general selfishness.

i think that was the person after me talking about validity.

Ah great, we're onto the not a proper disability bit now 👍

Yes it was, in response to your post. Your response started with: 'Are invisible disabilities valid?'. You asked the question, so what did you mean by that? Do you mean that autism, for example, doesn't exist?

I assume they are referring to the genetic screening of embryos as part of IVF.

Far from being standard its specific to IVF treatment and then its an elective test. In the UK its used to screen for life limiting genetic conditions - don't think it has expanded beyond that type of use case officially. It can also be used to ensure the sex of the implanted embryo which would only be legal in the UK for sex related conditions but of course legal and actual don't always align.

PGT can only identify genes, it can't predict the extent of any associated condition, especially where multiple genes need to be expressed and interact with environment (rather than a direct and definite link such as Huntingdon's). The ethics of selecting just on the presence of genes which may or may not be expressed and may or may not actually be disadvantageous is treated differently in different jurisdictions (and quantity of $$$$).

Especially when that disability is also a mental health condition. The ableist attitude also exists in places you don't expect it to.

We applied for a blue badge for my daughter last year. As part of her disability it was vital she parked as close to a shop door as physically possible ( I won't go into detail but I did explain not doing this often resulted in a 999 call). She was still a child at that stage ( yes disabled children can drive at 16)

Guess what she didn't get the badge because it wasn't a physical immobility!
Wow!

I'm doing it here. I'm having to explain and plead my case. Why?

I was reframing their assertion into a question seeing that I had never said that in the post that quoted of mine. It just suited them to infer I did..

I'd say that writing off her experience, which she was kind enough to share, is also ignorant.

I don't know why people were sneering at a PP who was talking about PGT to screen prenatally for autism as if it couldn't be done. It clearly exists and can detect some proportion of cases either during IVF or prenatally. And it does seem to be more common in the US, presumably because it's expensive.

'In the United States, prenatal genetic testing (PGT) for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is currently available via clinical genetic services.'

Autism spectrum disorders: a qualitative study of attitudes toward prenatal genetic testing and termination decisions of affected pregnancies - PubMed (nih.gov)

Autism Spectrum Disorders: Prenatal Genetic Testing and Abortion Decision-Making among Taiwanese Mothers of Affected Children - PMC (nih.gov)

I disagree. In the context of the post (the poster was talking about her own lived experience, after all), I think it is at very least a worthy point of discussion tbh.

Clearly children with a disability shouldn’t simply be expected to crack on with no additional help or support to help level the field (which is the chronically under-resourced part that is currently being referenced in a parallel thread). However I also believe that ALL children should be encouraged to be as self sufficient and resilient as possible for their unique position. Anything less would surely mean limiting their expectations of their own capabilities and failing to help them reach their potential (whatever that may be). A lack of resilience is a really big issue in primary schools at the moment, and I don’t think that talking about it should exclude the needs of children with disabilities.

This makes me so angry! All I will say is anyone can become disabled at any point I'm their life. I worked with a young lady, who at 14 was hit by a white van driver and developed Epilepsy, MLD and other disabilities. Her life changed in an instant. She lost all of her friends and went to a specialist school. The elderly can develop Dementia too.
As a mother of an adult with a disability, it doesn't get any easier. Only 3% of people with Autism are in employment. Most people with Autism want to be employed but the cruel/sad thing is that no adjustments are made so that they can work. The government needs to do more.