To think that disabled people are hated?

[AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman]

Yes, I know that it was apparently very uplifting when I was planning a party for my disabled DS and his classmates from special school. When I was putting in all the hard work by myself to make it happen it was admirable and my DS and his friends were adorable.

But there have been so many threads here complaining about the way disabled children use up resources- in school, in clubs, in sports. So much hatred for the fact that disability is sometimes, inadequately, accommodated. So much blame and disdain for parents of disabled kids. So much anger at the unfairness and injustice(!) being suffered by the ‘normal’ kids, the functioning kids, the able kids when they are forced to encounter a disabled peer.

AIBU to think that this is people showing their true colours; that in fact the world is as full of hatred for disabled people as I’ve always feared?

I'm adult and not a pushover. I'm also ill enough that I automatically qualify for blue badges. The amount of times I've been abused for using these spaces tells me all I need to know about some people's feelings. If you've never experienced it you have no idea.
I feel for disabled children growing up. There is little real empathy, just lip service. Services are crashing under the weight of financial cuts and fear the future will only be harder and harder.
As unpalatable as Georgia is. She isn't alone in her vile opinions.

Exactly. My anxiety disorders and PTSD which could be potentially linked to my ND make life extremely difficult.

I rarely go outside the local same 0.5 area where I walk daily. I've gone outside of that 4 times this year. I work from home full time and have a reasonable adjustment that I don't attend in-person group meetings but will attend 1:1 in person meetings if necessary. And they are rare.

And doing that does cause me significant stress and exacerbates my anxiety. But that's part of living with my condition, that some things are extremely hard and cause me difficulties but complete avoidance isn't a solution either.

I could easily put a claim in for PIP and could be considered 'entitled' but that money would make no difference whatsoever to my condition and would just be more money in my bank.

So why would I? Because I'm entitled? And the parameters of of the definition of 'disability' have shifted so much that in some cases, they're meaningless.

Virtually no-one I know knows that I'm disabled in formal terms. And I think most of society would judge me as not.

Which can be a valid argument as most people have an idea of what they think the definition of disability should apply to.

Would you be entitled to.PIP.though?
I.think.there are two.different issues here not everybody with a disability is entitled to PIP it goes off what you can't do not the disability so if you can manage to live independently travel independently cook for yourself the chances are you wouldn't qualify anyway
My oldest son has recently been diagnosed with diabetes he's insulin dependent he wil!always be insulin dependent its a disability but I think its unlikely he would be entitled to PIP.as he's over 16 as he manages it independently and it doesn't affect his ability to self care or r travel independently.

"I don't know why people were sneering at a PP who was talking about PGT to screen prenatally for autism as if it couldn't be done. It clearly exists and can detect some proportion of cases either during IVF or prenatally."

These tests can only screen for genetic abnormalities. The vast majority of people with autism do not have detectable genetic differences.

So with my ADHD, I would say that I have trouble socialising (I’m always interrupting or drifting off, and I can’t just sit and talk for hours, and I’m noise sensitive) listening (again, drifting off) and following a route. None of that stops me thriving and none of it would improve with more money. At most I just need a little grace from my loved ones when I’ve zoned out while they are talking (inattention) or when I’m late (time blindness). I can make my own adaptations at work, like recording meetings and using the pomodoro technique, body doubling etc.

However, I am very sure based on the information I’ve been given by ADHD providers and through the support groups online that I could make a case for PIP - it might not be immediately accepted but in the end I think I would succeed.

Again, this is my experience. There will be others with ADHD who can’t hold down a job or manage the basics of their personal care, and these people should be supported. They have ADHD and it is disabling for them. I have ADHD and it is not disabling for me. I am just calling for a distinction between the two, mainly for the benefit of people with disabilities who have a hard enough job advocating for themselves as it is.

And that's fine. But some people are trying to shut down discussion of the dark side by accusing those bringing it up of being motivated by hatred for them or their children. They're also pretending not to know that some of the actual hatred, or usually more accurately, resentment, annoyance, suspicion and lack of patience, partly stems from the real behaviour of a minority. Again, it's all simply written off as mindless 'hatred' because that's the currently fashionable root of all evil.

I’m glad I was taught that the world wasn’t going to bend to my will and I would have to navigate the parts of it I found tough

Life is tough, with or without disability. But to manage in that tough world, it is essential that the world does indeed bend to ensure that people with disabilities are able to navigate on a half even playing field with the rest of us. Pretending all disabled people need to do is develop their resilience ignores the complexity of challenges many face to do even simple stuff - like get in a building - the rest of us take for granted.

They screen for genetic abnormalities that can cause autism. I'm aware that's not the majority of cases, that's why I specifically said 'some proportion'. From the sneering reactions she got anyone would think PGT had absolutely nothing to do with autism.

It wasn't essential to the person you're responding to, and she's not the only one. Maybe people should stop making such blanket statements about people with disabilities.

She didn't 'pretend that all disabled people need to do is develop their resilience'. Not even close. You're the one making sweeping statements as if all disabled people are the same.

I 100% agree with you that the world needs to bend for people with disability. I was writing from the perspective of someone with neurodiversity that isn’t disabling.

"I'm aware that's not the majority of cases, that's why I specifically said 'some proportion'. From the sneering reactions she got anyone would think PGT had absolutely nothing to do with autism."

It's a tiny proportion. No clinic should be saying their testing can screen for "autism" because it cannot.

@Pollyputhekettleon when you have a disabled child I'm afraid you pretty much get used to the haters. It seems that society feels we must bear that load if we want any assistance at all just to give our children equality.

Others come along and tell them very transparently that they are presenting too well and they need to embellish more, then give them the wording as to how.

Embellish more or advise people to fill in the application as it is on your worst day?

It definitely went beyond ‘describe your worst day’ sometimes. Just outright ‘here’s what to say’ and ‘don’t tell them X’.

it depends what you mean. i believe disabled children should get enough funding to ensure their needs are met AND to ensure the other class members are not disadvantaged at all. There shouldn't be any disruption to classes in this day and age. Provisions must be in place to avoid this and make sure every single child disabled or not has the best opportunities in life. I don't think that is ableist and think it's what most parents feel.

You need at least 8 points to get standard level in the care component

www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/personal-independence-payment-pip/pip-points-system

You wouldn't qualify @Secondwindplease

As I said, the world is full of liars and scammers. I don't think there are any more in the disabled community than in the non disabled. They're just easier to pick on.

British society is very keen on a race to the bottom.

The studies I linked to do not appear to be talking about a tiny proportion and you've provided no evidence at all. I'm not discussing the ethics of what IVF clinics may be claiming. I'm saying the reaction to that unfortunate poster was completely misleading and wildly disproportionate. This obviously triggers strong emotions for some reason although I have no idea why.

Well that’s actually good to know! Probably explains why there were so many pissed off women on that Facebook group too. I think it still illustrates that there is a lot of confusion and a lot of conflation of neurodiversity with disability though, which only sometimes overlap. That was my original point.

Merlin now want to exclude him from something he loves because of his disability to make it fair to everyone. Where is the fairness to him, because I only see discrimination.

I'm so sick of any attempts to redress unfairness caused by disability as 'unfair' to the people who don't get the extra concessions - because they 100% do not need them in the first place.

It's a cliche, but it's still completely true: many able-bodied people want to have free access to the things that a disabled person needs, which they think look like quite a convenient perk to them; but they're not interested in having the disability that transforms that cool convenience into an absolute basic essential.

think it still illustrates that there is a lot of confusion and a lot of conflation of neurodiversity with disability though, which only sometimes overlap

To be able to claim DLA for a child you need to evidence that your child requires more looking after than the average child. Therefore it will usually be possible to claim when you have a ND child. Some ND people will also qualify for PIP. My child has Type 1 diabetes - we can claim DLA but know he is unlikely to get PIP unless he begins to require more support than he does now or indeed, unless something else happens to him or another condition were to rear its head. There is no harm in trying to claim or getting support to do so. You might manage perfectly well but that's not the same for everyone. Many conditions require support, medications or therapies not available on the NHS. People should be made to feel ashamed for trying to claim extra funding to support them.

*shouldn't

IME, inclusiveness and accessibility ends at the point where non-disabled people feel they're being inconvenienced, disadvantaged or that disabled people are getting a "perk" that they themselves want.

Over the years I've been told that it's unfair DC has a one to one support in school as other, more academic children, would benefit more from that level of extra teaching (i.e, it's wasted on someone like DC). I've overheard people saying a child like DC shouldn't even be in "our school". DC had a reasonable adjustment in place that had zero impact on anyone else (arriving five minutes late, leaving five minutes early) but a small group of gobby parents whose DC were regularly late as a matter of course complained so much and so loudly about it being unfair that school removed the adjustment. We ended up having to change schools.

If you want to see how society views disability, read the comments section on any news article relating to a disabilities.

Im.on various DLA groups in Facebook because my youngest child has severe autism and learning disabilities he gets High rate care and high rate Mobility under SMI rules
There are definitely same people who just see it as extra money and will.try and claim for the vaguest of reasons with no evidence or diagnosis or have even spoken to.a Dr or health visitor about their concerns I see it a lot they are usually unsuccessful though
Diabetes is a funny one my oldest son wss diagnosed in February but he's 16 so I don't think he would as you say qualify for PIP.
But I understand and why a child qualifies for. DLA as its pretty full on.

Its how the disability impacts a person not the disability itself so.if someone is managing well then they are unlikely to be success ful.in claiming for PIP.