To think the young gf/wife gets a raw deal

[gutfightinghead]

I’m 15 years younger than my DH. We have been married a year and have a 4 month old baby. I’m 25, he’s 40 and we’re both in great careers, have our own home, financially stable, unbelievable sex life and genuinely happy. We have our disagreements like everyone else but on the whole it’s a healthy, happy relationship.

however - I still find I get a lot of sneers and as if I must be a young bimbo for being much younger, like I’m a silly wee girl. We got a lot of ‘oh she’s a silly young girl’ or ‘she’s his mid life crisis’, ‘it’ll never last’ etc.

just recently we had an appointment with our solicitor about something and he apologised and we said why? And he said he got us all wrong on paper he expected some young dope not someone with career, sensible etc

ive also noticed on mumsnet itself a lot of younger gf/wives etc get a bad name or labelled very quickly.

if they’re the other woman I completely understand as I know that sometimes is the case when there’s a younger gf/wife but apart from that I don’t understand why we get labelled so badly or as if we are silly/naive/stupid??

I can understand why people judge and make assumptions. We all fo that with everything. Im always baffled why people have the urge to say them outloud to the persons face. Keep ti to yourself or talk behind their back.

Yes it is fine to pass judgement, I only replied to your post because you told another poster to stop judging though 😅

Yep strong minded or creeps, most of them won't care.

That's a pretty good reason for thinking it's gross!!

What's baffling about it? When people find things morally unacceptable they will often state that out loud because they want to discourage that kind of behaviour in society and they want to let people know that they think it's wrong.

Yes it is fine to pass judgement, I only replied to your post because you told another poster to stop judging though 😅

I've never really liked judgemental people. They thrive on tearing other people down to validate themselves. They're generally quite negative and demeaning towards others.

That's a pretty good reason for thinking it's gross!!

According to you, and whoever shares your thoughts.

When people find things morally unacceptable they will often state that out loud because they want to discourage that kind of behaviour in society and they want to let people know that they think it's wrong.

There is nothing wrong with having multiple sexual partners, as long as everyone involved consents and is free from harm.

What's morally acceptable, or not acceptable is not decided by you believe it or not. And, to say this kind of behaviour in society is wrong is ridiculous. We're not living in the stone age.

And I don't like creeps who go after young adults.
I'm judgemental about very little but I am about that.

I don't care about the multiple sex partners. I care that one of them is 21 with a 41 year old man.

I know a couple with a similar set up except the man is 52 and the new girlfriend is 32/33. No judgement about that, but I would if she was 10 years younger.

At your age I was in a similar relationship (I was 23 and he was 40). It absolutely makes my skin crawl now.

the age gap doesn’t horrify me - I know people with simialr - it’s how young you were when you met.

Sure it happens but is the exception that proves the rule. Pretty much every couple i have ever known are broadly within 8 years of each others age. Just too many weird issues otherwise with massive gaps different life stage / points of reference etc.

Agree. This sounds like pure fantasy.