Seeing lots of single child family

[Guffpuff]

We went for a long walk today around a reservoir. It's quite a popular place. We saw a large number of single child families. We feel that it's becoming more and more common now. Could be due to Cost of living and inflation or mix of lots of reasons.
Is this something you're observing as well?

Not particularly, although most people I know have stopped at 2.

My original NCT group was made up of six, and I had my DD in July and one other is due a second in the winter. The other four are all staying at one.

We're considering being a 1 child family. A few friends of mine are too. It's expensive, it's totally unmanageable financially to have more than one in childcare. But others have cited environmental reasons.

I think also with everyone working there's just so much less of a "village" to raise children. My family are all over the country for work so a lot of them we don't see.

We are a single child family. I had my DS later in life.
When I was younger, I assumed I’d have more kids…

But, I didn’t have any interest in marriage or children.
Once I was in my 40s, I assumed I’d have neither.

@yeveamgirl yeah, totally agree to everything you said. It's quite expensive and with mortgages and overall cost of living going up, it's very difficult to have more children.

Im about to have my first and always assumed I’d have two, but then I factor in:
2x nursery fees, holiday costs, after school clubs, hobbies, food, uniforms, phones for teenagers, uni costs, driving lessons and house deposits and it financially makes no sense.

So I’m currently on the fence mainly due to cost of everything!

I’m sticking at one. Range of reasons- not least unexpectedly becoming a single parent- but also financial concerns, worry about climate emergency, and frankly, my body feels too knackered now for a pregnancy! (Just personal- props to anyone who has the bodily vitality later into their 30s/40s/50s!)

Would like to explore foster to adopt when my financial circs improve.

I don't think the COL crisis could feasibly be having an effect on family size yet. You might see a marginal impact if you look back at the statis in 10 years.

@FloatyBoaty - I don’t want to be overly pedantic but if you’re considering foster to adopt, and you already have a child, that’s not sticking at one.

apols to @Summermeadowflowers - sticking at one bio child. It’s appropriate in relation to the latter two reasons.

I can't afford my second but wouldn't have it any other way. You just make it work

@TheYearOfSmallThings We are kind of on fence too about having one or more due to the cost of nursery and all the other costs involved in bringing up children. I think this would be a major factor in lots of young families.

The uk population is declining because more women are choosing not to have any children at all. Apparently, the number of women having 1, 2, 3 or more children is the same as it has been for decades but the decline is due to the increase in those women who choose not to have any.

That said, those stats are probably 4 years old and I have also noticed more women stopping at one child.

I noticed the same. My DD’s year group is overwhelmingly full of only’s. Only two other families have 3+ very few have 2 like ours.

I get it from an ethical standpoint but also you have more resources and time to pour into a single child than if you had multiple. Looking at my two and often being pulled in multiple directions I often think life would have been easier but less fun with just 1.

Pregnancy, birth, sleepless nights, and maternity leave were all rubbish and 4 out of 8 in my NCT class agreed on that. I think more women are realising you don't have to do it more than once.

I wanted to be a mum. One fulfils that.

I echo all of the points about money, but time is short as well. Life is fast. People have commutes and long hours. Most couples work full time.

I think more people are realising that when you have a busy working life- only children really get the benefit of your quality time and the energy that you have left.

So many children aren’t read to, connected with and can’t have the interests followed because there is another sibling or two to divide the time with. Or relationships suffer when a divide and conquer approach is needed to give the multiple kids what they need.

@SpaceRaiders how old is your DD? I am asking this as I thought this shift towards an only child is more recent (last 5 years)

My third child after a big gap is primary school aged. There is a 10 and 13 year difference between her and her siblings.

When she was in nursery it cost more than when we had the older two in at the same time. After school care and holiday club costs 3x what we paid a decade ago. My public sector salary has barely gone up. All her activities are more expensive than we paid 10 years ago. It has all become so much more expensive.

My parent community with her is made up of the families that use the nursery/after school care. It is about 80% single child families. Amoung professional, two parent working families, one is the average where we live. Those with multiple primary school aged children seem to have family money.

Best not too assume. If you saw us walking round with our 7 year old, you'd assume they're an only child. However there is a big age gap and their mother older sibling is 17. Don't assume what you don't know.

My DC is a one child. Lots of my friends settled for one child. This isn’t a new thing, maybe you are only seeing it now you are tuned into it?

I had mine older and having a second with enough of a gap to be manageable (from level of independence perspective) would be a risk I wouldn’t be willing to take.

Financially we are comfortable and DD has various activities and goes to a nice school and we will be able to continue providing support through uni, deposit for a home etc we could probably do it for a second but would have to plan a bit more carefully and have a chunk less in retirement.

Honestly as well it’s hard work, we have 0 family help where we are (and wouldn’t expect it anyway).

How do you know they were single child families? The other(s) could have been with friends / parties / clubs etc? Seems a random assumption

Older not mother

I am 34 and my friends are mainly 28-40. So there’s still time for most of them to have babies. But so far, most have 0 or 1 child.

@DobbyTheHouseElk yeah, I think we have only started to notice that when we have started taking our DS out and about more to various places where families visit with children. But, I feel managing one DC is so much easier.