Seeing lots of single child family

[Guffpuff]

We went for a long walk today around a reservoir. It's quite a popular place. We saw a large number of single child families. We feel that it's becoming more and more common now. Could be due to Cost of living and inflation or mix of lots of reasons.
Is this something you're observing as well?

So interesting this thread. I know a few one and done by choice and a few families who sadly have secondary infertility due to age. However 2 is very much the norm around here. More than two seems to be only for the rich or people who have twins as a second!

When I was growing up everyone seemed to be one of 3 so that is a shift. I also have lots of childfree friends.

At some point the government will have to provide breaks to get the birth rate up.

You’d think they might start that now, but I am sure they will delay as long as possible..

Indeed. In my family it goes:

DS - me and DH and SiL (single, no children) - Fil, Mil, Mum, Dad. So 4 people born in the 1950s have one grandson between them and DS has no cousins or uncles.

Depends on the family. If you'd seen us out and about locally over the past few months you'd assume we were a single child family too, but we have a DD16 and DS11.

DD16 has been so busy with revising, working 2 PT jobs and socialising with her friends that we rarely go out as a foursome anymore.

No, most people I know have two children that seems to be the norm.

Yes and I'm thinking in the future if there's a lot more only children, there is more chance of two only children getting married....families will be linear... grandparents, parents, kids rather than spread out to different branches. It will be quite an interesting cultural phenomenon

This phenomenon is currently happening in China. Only time will tell what it would be like.

At some point the government will have to provide breaks to get the birth rate up youd think so but Jeremy Hunt goes on and on about SAHMs being bad for the economy ☹️

I had a complicated pregnancy and birth and received some poor care at hospital. I don't have faith in the NHS to keep me or another baby safe.

I have one child. I absolutely love being able to fully commit to her.

I had one as I struggled to conceive (needing assistance) and I therefore was so delighted when she was born, I didn’t feel I needed another.

The other things impacting me were the difficulties I had during the birth and (perhaps selfishly) I didn’t want the trauma of going through it again, or a weakened pelvic floor. This scared me, and if I had become pregnant I would have elected for a caesarean.

I also didn’t want to feel I had to have another child, and if it didn’t happen to be disappointed with my family. Miscarriages are depressing and I wanted to be happy while my daughter was young.

Cost wasn’t the decider for me, it was being so grateful I had a child (and I remain incredibly thankful).

How do you know another child wasn’t doing something else? Fertility issues? Waiting for one to start school before having another? Who’s to say they aren’t going for a 10 year age gap? Your walk in the park says literally nothing about the birth rate, especially connecting it to a 2 year old cost of living crisis.

Infertility

I had my son after a 9 year ivf journey .
Would cut my arm off for another but we don't have the funds or emotional strength to go again

My oldest is 4 (just started school). At nursery and now at school, the parents I'm speaking to at least are one and done for the majority. I always thought 3 would be lovely, but we can't afford a third, and realistically 2 is plenty with the bickering that's started now the baby is over 1.5!

Baby girl is an absolute delight, beautifully healthy and great sleeper and eater (unlike her big brother). Many aspects of her life have been very healing for me mentally also. But I think now that ds is older and I'm more myself after his babyhood drama, I could have made my peace with one. He's such a loving boy and it would have made life much easier. I'm glad we didn't wait though, life would not be the same without our girl, and they love each other so much.

Of my friend group (mostly men), most are childless and unfussed about it. I don't know anyone with more than 2 (we're mid to late 30s) except a rogue bitcoin millionaire who can afford a night nanny!

The birth rate is definitely low compared to what it used to be.

But the numbers of kids you see in the park won't be anything to do with cost of living or inflation- that has only been for the past year, and people are pregnant for 9 months. We only have about 3 months of babies that might be affected/ missing from cost of living/ inflation if you think about it.

It's not like lots of people have gotten rid of their toddlers because they can no longer afford them.

My DH is one of 4 and would love to have 4, interestingly 1 of his siblings is only having 1 and his sisters in their mid and 30s haven’t had any yet, so I expect they’ll only have 1 or 2 with a small gap if they have any at all.

Most of our NCT group were very sure they were stopping at 1, they didn’t keep baby clothes or equipment. But we were the only couple in our 20s, everyone was late 30s or early 40s. I think age really plays a part.

We also know quite a few self funded ivf babies and their parents are stopping at 1.

I’m pregnant with our 2nd now, with around a 2 year gap. I’m still in my 20s so there’s plenty of time for us to have a 3rd if we want. We would like to but I think we’ll need to reassess finances nearer the time. For us though the thought process is more, we could probably afford private school for 2 if we had to but not for 3. So I appreciate we’re in a fortunate position.

I think we’ve ruled out having 4. I don’t think I could have 4 and maintain my career.

On our road, there's only one only. 8 other families including us all with 2 children each. No families with more than 2. Onlies are very much a minority in our town from what I see.

Well the birth rate is down over the last decade, we know this.

That’s really interesting.

I don’t if it’s my age/access to the internet but I do feel like I see many more career focused women these days, instead of just wanting to grow up get married and have a family.

Women definitely have more choices now.

I guess contraception is also much easier to get and more effective.

I think also women are becoming increasingly independent and career focused. Gone are the days that it was the norm to stay at home for 5 years with a gaggle of children, most people simply can’t afford it.

When I speak to my SIL who’s 26, she has zero interest in having children ever. As do a lot of her friends. They’ve seen their mothers tied to the house for years on end and the just don’t want that! I tell my own girls to think very very carefully before considering having children. And only do so if your financially able to care for them yourself without support from a man. Dd’s are my greatest happiness and source of frustration. I wouldn’t be without them but it’s also been a monumental sledge hammer to my earning potential over the last 10 years and likely for another 3-5 at least!

Crossed posted with @tescocreditcard!

Yep.

Mind you if we reduced the strangle hold developers have on housing and tweaked the planning laws, housing would be much more affordable so people could start families earlier. And if there were proper tax breaks on child care it would be easier to stay in work PT, if that’s what people wanted. And of course if the planning laws weren’t so shit people could live nearer work so commutes wouldn’t be so long..

IF they did that..

I have 1 because I had her as a teen and was a single parent, which I found difficult.

Dating was also difficult and I was focused on improving my life by going to uni and getting a job etc and then time just went by.

Now she’s older and more independent there’s no way of want to do it all again because I’m finally starting to have a life myself.

I do feel bad for just having 1 though and sometimes I think if I could go back I would perhaps focus more on finding a partner and having another child.

As @SpaceRaiders said, I also have lots of friends who just aren’t interested in having children and will probably never have them.

We are a single child family (DD is 2 but I really don’t see us deciding to use our last embryos and the medication I take for my endometriosis is a contraceptive). There’s no one reason- 10 years ago I probably would have guessed I’d have two. DH was always more one. I think the 4 years of infertility really gave me time to imagine life if I was lucky enough to have one and see all the benefits of that and by the time I was pregnant I was fairly certain and pregnancy and birth finalised that.

Married ten years, two children, 7 and 3. Can't say we ever lost the spark to need to get it back! Child free short breaks sound amazing though 😂