In expecting him to pick me up from the airport?

[dramallamamx]

I'm currently travelling alone in Mexico and I realised I had made a mistake with my coach times to get home from the airport as I forgot about the time difference. A new ticket is £40 and a 6 hour coach journey returning home at 8pm by which time I will have been travelling for around 24 hours and I am back at work the next day. I rang my partner and asked if he could give me a lift from the airport , it is about a 2 and a half hour drive. He says he has a meeting at 10am and I land at 11:15, I said ok I don't mind waiting at the airport for you to arrive, he says he will be too tired as he drove 5 hours to Devon yesterday for a music show and he doesn't know how long the meeting will last so he can't do it and it's my fault that I fucked up the times. I said he was being selfish as I would go out of my way to help him in this situation. Who is being unreasonable here?

The change is in London so not really.

I've been with my DH 40 years and I wouldn't ask him to pick me up in these circumstances. I'd just get the next coach or the train.
If it was an emergency if course he would come. But this isn't.

You are being massively unreasonable. I can't even believe you expected this.

Hope the new fella runs for the hills, what a brat.

I doubt she's taken time off work to do a 5 hour round trip.

I'm assuming that you are flying into Heathrow.

Could you look on Trainline to see whether there is a reasonably priced train ticket which will get you home more quickly?

You could get the tube into Central London and then get your connecting train at the station for your region.

Your coach journey would be 6h, his would be 5h? That's a lot to ask. One thing if there were no trains/bussed due to reasosn or you were unwell.

I actually gave him a lift the same day that my university portfolio was due in in July and he knew that. I'm not counting favours but he knows I have gone out of my way for him in the past.

YABVU OP and I am definitely one who 'expects' lifts of DH a lot, but even I would think that was ridiculous and would never expect that from him.

If you've decided to do the airport run before or something mad, then that's on you, no sane person would.

So you’re asking him to do a 5 hour round trip so you can do one less hour on a coach? That would easily cost £40 or more in petrol. You really shouldn’t even be asking him to do that.

Yabu. You're asking him to take 5hrs out of his working day, instead of you taking 6 out of your non working day. I suppose there is no harm in asking, but he's said no so I would just except that with good grace. 5hrs in a car 2 days on the trot is a long time

So you've picked him up from this same airport 2.5 hours away twice?

That's the only thing that makes you reasonable to ask. I wouldn't personally ask or agree to drive 5 hours plus waiting time to save someone 6 hours but I would expect someone id done a big favour like that for to reciprocate.

And I've offered the petrol money or to use my car, anyway I've booked the coach ticket now.

YABU but you’ve obviously made your mind up on this. I wouldn’t do this for anyone.
There’s is an obvious solution, it’s not as if you’re getting home in the middle of the night or you have an emergency, you’re simply asking him to endure the same thing you don’t want to endure, makes no sense

You weren’t being unreasonable to ask him altho it is a big ask, and he certainly wasn’t in the slightest bit unreasonable to say NO! Your choice of airport, your holiday, your fuck up with the coach timings, your issue to sort I’m afraid!

Throw this one back, OP. He’s had TWO airport pick ups from you and won’t even pick you up once.

He sounds a selfish user.

I would rather be in the comfort of a car for 2 and a half hours than sitting on a coach for 6 hours

But it’s 5 hours driving in the car for him?!

You sound jolly hard work!

You are counting favours. Look at you. Trying to justify why he should take five hours out of his working day for you so you can save an hour of travelling.

He's working. Just because he's self employed. Is that not important enough for you?

Oh not to mention he'll be fucking exhausted the next day too. But that okay isn't it. Hey who cares how he feels at work? Just your work that's important right.

You've got me confused with the person I was quoting.

I think he’s nbu to refuse. He would have to drive for 5h vs you sitting in a coach for 6h. Whichever way you look at it, unless you have some health issues or need some extra help with travelling it doesn’t make sense for both of you to burn 10h

Hope you haven't bought him a pressy op.
Your dm sounds lovely.

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes.
OP: No I'm not because reasons.

She could quite easily have said she wasn't available until the next day. That probably would have been the more responsible thing to do. What if there's a delay etc?

Hopefully his present will be them breaking up...

That's what I'd be hoping for if I were him anyway

I think it’s a big ask and the only thing that might make it more reasonable is if the airport pickups you did were the same so same airport /distance ?

With the times you have given him a lift to the airport, did you offer or did he ask out of interest?