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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In expecting him to pick me up from the airport?

388 replies

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:01

I'm currently travelling alone in Mexico and I realised I had made a mistake with my coach times to get home from the airport as I forgot about the time difference. A new ticket is £40 and a 6 hour coach journey returning home at 8pm by which time I will have been travelling for around 24 hours and I am back at work the next day. I rang my partner and asked if he could give me a lift from the airport , it is about a 2 and a half hour drive. He says he has a meeting at 10am and I land at 11:15, I said ok I don't mind waiting at the airport for you to arrive, he says he will be too tired as he drove 5 hours to Devon yesterday for a music show and he doesn't know how long the meeting will last so he can't do it and it's my fault that I fucked up the times. I said he was being selfish as I would go out of my way to help him in this situation. Who is being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
crumblylancs · 23/09/2023 16:42

Come on, 5 hours driving for him and it's not even going to save you much time by the time he's done with his meeting and driven there and back! You can get a good amount of sleep on the coach so you're feeling a bit fresher for work but either way you're going to be shattered anyway!

LastNightAPandaSavedMyLife · 23/09/2023 16:42

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:41

And I'm reconsidering the relationship over this , I don't want a relationship that's one sided .

You sure are living up to your name.

sodthesodoff · 23/09/2023 16:42

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:41

And I'm reconsidering the relationship over this , I don't want a relationship that's one sided .

I don't think you're the only one reconsidering the relationship...

thedancingbear · 23/09/2023 16:42

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:41

And I'm reconsidering the relationship over this , I don't want a relationship that's one sided .

Looks like he’s about to dodge a bullet.

TinglingTangling · 23/09/2023 16:43

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:41

And I'm reconsidering the relationship over this , I don't want a relationship that's one sided .

Do him a favour and dump him. He will have a better life without your dramatics.

DirectionToPerfection · 23/09/2023 16:43

YABU.

First of all I genuinely don't know how you managed to forget about the time difference between the UK and Mexico, but that's your cock up.

You want a fairly new boyfriend to endure a long trip so that you don't have to endure a trip of a similar length. Just no. In an emergency fair enough, but that's not the case here.

I don't understand why your mother would be giving you £300 for a taxi when you can just book another coach ticket.

I think you need to suck it up and stop being so entitled.

Mammajay · 23/09/2023 16:44

I really don't get the people who say he is uncaring.. surely op asking him to drive five hours to save her 6 hours relaxing on a coach is the uncaring one?

Sakura7 · 23/09/2023 16:45

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:39

I would rather be in the comfort of a car for 2 and a half hours than sitting on a coach for 6 hours but hey ho I've paid for the ticket now but I've told him I'm not happy about it .

Boo fucking hoo 🙄

You are so cheeky!

kitsuneghost · 23/09/2023 16:45

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:19

I'm at work the next day because it's a brand new job that the trip was booked before so I didn't want to take the piss .

That's on you then. Who starts a new job the day after a holiday.

Original poster
dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:46

This is the first favour or help I've ever asked for from him and I just think it's telling how he's responded.

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 23/09/2023 16:46

YABU. It would be a 5 hour drive, plus time at the airport picking you up etc, to save you a 6 hour coach trip? Realistically it will take him probably 6-7 hours including stops and breaks etc. Sorry but I think that’s unreasonable, especially if it is a work day. Even if the meeting is his only commitment I expect there will be actions from the meeting he will need to follow up etc, I can see why he doesn’t want to jump immediately from a meeting to getting in the car for a 6-7 hour round trip, it’s a big ask especially to a boyfriend you’ve only been seeing 5 months and presumably at short notice. You say the coach will be £40, that’s likely going to be cheaper than a tank of petrol and charges for going into the airport anyway!

Honestly, 6 hours on a coach where you can put in your headphones and nap or play a game on your phone or read etc is less effort for you than driving for 6+ hours is going to be for him. Presumably he has work the next day too? It’s not even like 8pm is that late, you must have known when you booked the return flight you’d only get home the day before work and how much difference is a few hours extra at home going to make?

Cosyblankets · 23/09/2023 16:46

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:39

I would rather be in the comfort of a car for 2 and a half hours than sitting on a coach for 6 hours but hey ho I've paid for the ticket now but I've told him I'm not happy about it .

Wouldn't we all.
But he'd rather not drive 5 hours. He'd rather be in the comfort of his own home.

ItsNotRocketSalad · 23/09/2023 16:46

He's being reasonable and you should apologise.

Nanny0gg · 23/09/2023 16:46

kitsuneghost · 23/09/2023 16:45

That's on you then. Who starts a new job the day after a holiday.

Show quote history

The person who booked the holiday before she got a new job?

Sheesh!

kitsuneghost · 23/09/2023 16:47

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:41

And I'm reconsidering the relationship over this , I don't want a relationship that's one sided .

I'm sure he doesn't either

gamerchick · 23/09/2023 16:47

Mercurial123 · 23/09/2023 16:40

I didn't say I would do more than an airport run. I said I wouldn't ask for someone to drive 5 hours to collect me.

Show quote history

Even though youve done it for them, as the OP has. Twice?

Nanny0gg · 23/09/2023 16:48

Back in the early days of relationships, some would have so missed their boyfriend/girlfriend that they would have offered to pick them up...

thedancingbear · 23/09/2023 16:48

MolkosTeenageAngst · 23/09/2023 16:46

YABU. It would be a 5 hour drive, plus time at the airport picking you up etc, to save you a 6 hour coach trip? Realistically it will take him probably 6-7 hours including stops and breaks etc. Sorry but I think that’s unreasonable, especially if it is a work day. Even if the meeting is his only commitment I expect there will be actions from the meeting he will need to follow up etc, I can see why he doesn’t want to jump immediately from a meeting to getting in the car for a 6-7 hour round trip, it’s a big ask especially to a boyfriend you’ve only been seeing 5 months and presumably at short notice. You say the coach will be £40, that’s likely going to be cheaper than a tank of petrol and charges for going into the airport anyway!

Honestly, 6 hours on a coach where you can put in your headphones and nap or play a game on your phone or read etc is less effort for you than driving for 6+ hours is going to be for him. Presumably he has work the next day too? It’s not even like 8pm is that late, you must have known when you booked the return flight you’d only get home the day before work and how much difference is a few hours extra at home going to make?

It’s nothing to do with comfort, it’s about making her new(ish) feller jump through a hoop. And miss out on a day’s income, given he’s self-employed.

Nanny0gg · 23/09/2023 16:48

kitsuneghost · 23/09/2023 16:47

I'm sure he doesn't either

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But she's done it for him!

sodthesodoff · 23/09/2023 16:48

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:46

This is the first favour or help I've ever asked for from him and I just think it's telling how he's responded.

What, like a normal human being?

There's no talking to you is there. Just ignoring everyone. On your own little mission.

If you want a monologue or someone to agree blithely with you go find a mirror.

KajsaKavat · 23/09/2023 16:49

YABU sometimes too much driving is just too much. When j had driven to and from Devon last week I refused to drive my son an hour to his friend because I was just all driven out.

crumblylancs · 23/09/2023 16:49

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:46

This is the first favour or help I've ever asked for from him and I just think it's telling how he's responded.

It's not just a little favour though and he's not obliged to say yes because you've asked

MolkosTeenageAngst · 23/09/2023 16:49

If your coach has a change could you ask him to maybe pick you up where you change, or otherwise somewhere half way/ closer to home? It would be more reasonable to ask him to pick you up an hour or so away from home meaning he doesn’t need to leave until late afternoon and only has a 2ish hour round trip. If the coaches go all around the houses presumably being picked up an hour or so away will still save you a couple of hours and get you home at maybe 6-7pm and picking up from a coach station at a set time is probably less stressful for him than having to negotiate a pick up from a busy airport.

MargotBamborough · 23/09/2023 16:50

YABU.

You're expecting him to spend more than five hours driving and probably at least £20 in fuel so that you can save yourself £40 and a couple of hours, because you made a mistake.

Pull up your big girl pants and get the bus home as planned. £40 isn't that big a deal.

kitsuneghost · 23/09/2023 16:50

Nanny0gg · 23/09/2023 16:46

The person who booked the holiday before she got a new job?

Sheesh!

Show quote history

Exactly, I would have just told them I can start Tuesday as I am arriving back from holiday on Sunday and need Monday off

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