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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In expecting him to pick me up from the airport?

388 replies

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:01

I'm currently travelling alone in Mexico and I realised I had made a mistake with my coach times to get home from the airport as I forgot about the time difference. A new ticket is £40 and a 6 hour coach journey returning home at 8pm by which time I will have been travelling for around 24 hours and I am back at work the next day. I rang my partner and asked if he could give me a lift from the airport , it is about a 2 and a half hour drive. He says he has a meeting at 10am and I land at 11:15, I said ok I don't mind waiting at the airport for you to arrive, he says he will be too tired as he drove 5 hours to Devon yesterday for a music show and he doesn't know how long the meeting will last so he can't do it and it's my fault that I fucked up the times. I said he was being selfish as I would go out of my way to help him in this situation. Who is being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
cuddlebear · 23/09/2023 16:22

YABU.

You have only been seeing this bloke a few months. You could get trains or stick with the coach.

Asking him to do a five hour round trip is really cheeky. I wouldn’t be impressed and would definitely refuse.

Glittertwins · 23/09/2023 16:23

Even if you land on time, it's still going to be an extra 30-45 mins before you've got through passport control and retrieved your suitcase. That's not giving a huge amount of time to wait for the bus either so I'd just take the time to snooze on the bus

randomuser2019 · 23/09/2023 16:23

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Highfivemum · 23/09/2023 16:23

You are getting such a mixed response on this. Although I can see his point I know for a fact my DH would travel to get me without question. We all make mistakes and I think he is being uncaring. As I said you will get mixed opinions on this but for me I wouldn’t ask my DH age would have offered. Last year my flight was cancelled ( only a domestic flight and my DH said he would drive to get me. 7 hours each way. Thats what we do for ones we love

Whaleandsnail6 · 23/09/2023 16:23

Im with your partner on this one. You are expecting him to do a 5 hour round trip to save you a 6 hour trip

I think you need to sort your own journey back

Doomscrolling · 23/09/2023 16:24

YABVU

You're expecting him to make a 5 hour journey so you don't have to make a 6 hour journey, and you're comparing a boyfriend of 5 months to what your mum would do for you.

cuddlebear · 23/09/2023 16:27

Highfivemum · 23/09/2023 16:23

You are getting such a mixed response on this. Although I can see his point I know for a fact my DH would travel to get me without question. We all make mistakes and I think he is being uncaring. As I said you will get mixed opinions on this but for me I wouldn’t ask my DH age would have offered. Last year my flight was cancelled ( only a domestic flight and my DH said he would drive to get me. 7 hours each way. Thats what we do for ones we love

But you are comparing your husband, who obviously loves you, with a bloke OP has been dating a few months.

Very different.

Cramlington567 · 23/09/2023 16:28

YABVU. Get the bus. You're not a child and you messed up the times.

Ophy83 · 23/09/2023 16:28

Can you get the train as close to home as possible and ask him to pick you up from there by which time he should have finished his work meeting

Mercurial123 · 23/09/2023 16:31

Whyohwhywyoming · 23/09/2023 16:11

But surely it’s not entitled to ask for help from someone you’re in a relationship with? I find this whole, you’ve fucked up, sort yourself out attitude really weird. If my sister, or husband, or close friend, called me saying oh no, I’ve messed this up can you help me, I would help them, not spitefully remind them
its their own fault. In my family, people help each other, if they can.

Show quote history

I wouldn't ask a newish boyfriend. I wouldn't dream of putting someone out, but that's me being considerate.

LastNightAPandaSavedMyLife · 23/09/2023 16:32

Pay the £40 and get on the bus.

Loverofoxbowlakes · 23/09/2023 16:33

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:08

Been together since April .

5 months?

I've been with dp 14 years and I wouldn't expect him to take 5 hours out of his working day (I know self employed, but he can't actually do any work if he's running about after you) to come and pick me up because I'd ballsed-up my coach ticket.

In am emergency he'd drop everything and travel to the ends of the earth for me, but no, YABU OP - buy a new coach ticket and suck it up. You're going to need the sleep if you're at work the next day, that jet-lag is crippling.

Cosyblankets · 23/09/2023 16:34

How do you mix up the times?
The landing time is on your ticket.
It's always in local time

gamerchick · 23/09/2023 16:34

Mercurial123 · 23/09/2023 16:31

I wouldn't ask a newish boyfriend. I wouldn't dream of putting someone out, but that's me being considerate.

Show quote history

So you would do more than airport run and other lift favours for your newish beau but wouldn't dream of asking for the same in return because you think it's cheeky?

Original poster
dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:37

I just didn't look at the ticket properly, entirely my mistake, I know.

OP posts:
Mammajay · 23/09/2023 16:37

Imo yabu

MustBeDueSomeBetterFeet · 23/09/2023 16:38

Ophy83 · 23/09/2023 16:28

Can you get the train as close to home as possible and ask him to pick you up from there by which time he should have finished his work meeting

This!

PosterBoy · 23/09/2023 16:39

I would definitely not do this. I also wouldn't ask - bit entitled to expect someone to drive 5 hours + waiting time just to save you a few hours sat on a coach.

Your parents may have given you a warped impression of how the rest of the world will behave.

SpringleDingle · 23/09/2023 16:39

Since April so 5 months and he’s working (self employed people still do work) and it’s a 5hr round trip… you are being unreasonable.

Original poster
dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:39

I would rather be in the comfort of a car for 2 and a half hours than sitting on a coach for 6 hours but hey ho I've paid for the ticket now but I've told him I'm not happy about it .

OP posts:
Mercurial123 · 23/09/2023 16:40

gamerchick · 23/09/2023 16:34

So you would do more than airport run and other lift favours for your newish beau but wouldn't dream of asking for the same in return because you think it's cheeky?

Show quote history

I didn't say I would do more than an airport run. I said I wouldn't ask for someone to drive 5 hours to collect me.

Mammajay · 23/09/2023 16:40

It is because I love my husband that I would not want him doing a five hour drive to save me from a six hour coach ride

Original poster
dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:41

And I'm reconsidering the relationship over this , I don't want a relationship that's one sided .

OP posts:
thedancingbear · 23/09/2023 16:41

He’s self-employed. The flight’s on a weekday, so he would be losing best part of a day’s work. He could easily end up £200-£400 out of pocket. That’s before you factor in petrol, wear and tear etc. for a five-hour drive. They’ve been together five months.

you can’t possibly be serious, OP?

caerdydd12 · 23/09/2023 16:41

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:39

I would rather be in the comfort of a car for 2 and a half hours than sitting on a coach for 6 hours but hey ho I've paid for the ticket now but I've told him I'm not happy about it .

So you're trying to guilt him into feeling bad?

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