Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In expecting him to pick me up from the airport?

388 replies

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:01

I'm currently travelling alone in Mexico and I realised I had made a mistake with my coach times to get home from the airport as I forgot about the time difference. A new ticket is £40 and a 6 hour coach journey returning home at 8pm by which time I will have been travelling for around 24 hours and I am back at work the next day. I rang my partner and asked if he could give me a lift from the airport , it is about a 2 and a half hour drive. He says he has a meeting at 10am and I land at 11:15, I said ok I don't mind waiting at the airport for you to arrive, he says he will be too tired as he drove 5 hours to Devon yesterday for a music show and he doesn't know how long the meeting will last so he can't do it and it's my fault that I fucked up the times. I said he was being selfish as I would go out of my way to help him in this situation. Who is being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Lampzade · 23/09/2023 16:12

YABU
There is no way that I would do a five hour round trip to collect someone when there are alternative ways to get home.

murasaki · 23/09/2023 16:13

Would you pay the petrol costs? 5 months is not a partner as said above, it is unreasonable to put this on him.

arintingly · 23/09/2023 16:13

In this situation, I wouldn't even have asked my DH let alone a boyfriend of 4 months. Presumably if you can afford a long haul holiday, you can afford £40 for a new coach ticket.

gamerchick · 23/09/2023 16:13

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:07

I've picked him up the airport twice and would do the same for him. His car was recently in the garage and I was giving him lifts.

Well not anymore. Remind him of this when you get home. Don't do it to guilt him into it.

Tbh I wouldn't even have to ask my husband to come and get me. He would just do it so he knew I was getting home safe and he would see me sooner.

Nam3chang384 · 23/09/2023 16:14

Soontobe60 · 23/09/2023 16:08

Presumably you booked the coach ticket based on the time your flight lands. Any time difference would be irrelevant as the take off time will be Mexican time and the landing time will be UK time.

’presumably’ not, given the post 😂

Lampzade · 23/09/2023 16:14

arintingly · 23/09/2023 16:13

In this situation, I wouldn't even have asked my DH let alone a boyfriend of 4 months. Presumably if you can afford a long haul holiday, you can afford £40 for a new coach ticket.

Exactly
I wouldn’t ask my dh of 23 years to collect me

Original poster
dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:15

I offered him petrol costs or to use my car that is parked at home. Partner or boyfriend, probably didn't use the correct terminology but does it really matter ?

OP posts:
Wrongsideofpennines · 23/09/2023 16:15

You're not unreasonable to ask but he's not unreasonable to say no.

His meeting might take hours and then presumably he has other work to do. He also will end up driving over lunch time, and it's not like he will have a nice rest at the airport as you will have been waiting around so then he just has to literally turn around and come home. Presumably he is doing all the driving and paying for the fuel? It'll cost him the same as the coach cost.

Just get the coach, sleep on the way and catch up with you're boyfriend when you're both well rested.

ISeeMisledPeople · 23/09/2023 16:15

You want him to travel for five hours, because you don't want to travel for six?

Yanbu to ask, but he is definitely nbu to say no!

CheersToMe · 23/09/2023 16:16

Why is it a 6 hour coach and only a 2.5 hour drive?

I wouldn't ask DH nor would I expect him to offer. Why do you put so little value on your boyfriend's time?

FallingAutumnLeaf · 23/09/2023 16:16

YABU.
I used to get a taxi, with the kids, to save DH driving an hour to the airport, hangi g around for the likely delayed plane, then an hour back.
Nothing to do with not wanting to see each other, and everything to do with 3ish hours of his time being better spent doing other stuff (like working, or cleaning or sleeping).

5 hours of his time driving vs you sleeping on a coash for 6 hours. Buy the new coach ticket.
FWIW the landing time will be at the airport you land at. Not where you departed from.

Original poster
dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:17

Because the coach goes around the houses and there is a change. There is no direct train.

OP posts:
Sarvanga38 · 23/09/2023 16:17

Five hours driving, plus more than the £40 in petrol anyway, to save you sleeping for six hours on a coach? I’d have said no too!

Cosyblankets · 23/09/2023 16:18

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:17

Because the coach goes around the houses and there is a change. There is no direct train.

Get the train half way?
Get a coach half way?

WallaceinAnderland · 23/09/2023 16:18

I would not do a 5 hour round trip to save my partner a 6 hour coach trip. That's ridiculous. Also, why on earth did you arrange to go to work the very next day, you're going to be knackered but at least you can sleep on the coach.

CheersToMe · 23/09/2023 16:18

But you were happy enough to buy the coach ticket. Not sure I understand your issue tbh. Getting home at 8pm for work the next day is not a big deal.

kitsuneghost · 23/09/2023 16:18

TBH, the drive wouldn't bother me but airport hassle would. Is it an airport he knows well as it is much easier if you know an airport.
Could you compromise on picking up in a different town, easier for both of you.

Notagains · 23/09/2023 16:19

I think his response was reasonable .
5 hours driving in a day is a lot and if he has a meeting it sounds as though he is working anyway.
You can't compare your mum's offer to pay for a taxi.

Original poster
dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:19

I'm at work the next day because it's a brand new job that the trip was booked before so I didn't want to take the piss .

OP posts:
caerdydd12 · 23/09/2023 16:20

dramallamamx · 23/09/2023 16:19

I'm at work the next day because it's a brand new job that the trip was booked before so I didn't want to take the piss .

But this is your problem, not his.

To echo other people, I don't think it's reasonable to expect him to do a 5 hour round trip when the coach is only an hour longer.

Ladybug14 · 23/09/2023 16:21

sodthesodoff · 23/09/2023 16:11

You boyfriend of five months won't commit to a five hour round trip on a work day because you messed up?

No I don't think he's unreasonable. I think you're a bit shitty for making him feel bad and having a go at him for it

Yes of course your bloody mother is going to offer to help out. She's not your boyfriend of five bloody months.

This

It's been 5 months 🤪

The man probably thinks you're a loon for messing up the timings

Createausername1970 · 23/09/2023 16:22

How were you originally getting home from the airport?

You are not being unreasonable to ask, but he doesn't have to say yes, if it doesn't work for him.

theduchessofspork · 23/09/2023 16:22

You might as well take the coach. You’ll be home for an early night. No point you both being tired.

It’s very primadonnaish to expect someone to drive a 5 hour return trip when you can get public transport.

That would put me off someone TBH

BranchGold · 23/09/2023 16:22

Where will you be changing your coach at? How fair is it time wise from his home? I think it wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask him if he could collect you from coach one if it’s 30/60mins away and later on in the afternoon, like 4ish when he could safely assume his work meeting is over?

alternatively getting a taxi from coach one.

Colourfulponderings · 23/09/2023 16:22

Yabu. You’re expecting him to do a journey almost the same length of the one that you don’t fancy.