In expecting him to pick me up from the airport?

[dramallamamx]

I'm currently travelling alone in Mexico and I realised I had made a mistake with my coach times to get home from the airport as I forgot about the time difference. A new ticket is £40 and a 6 hour coach journey returning home at 8pm by which time I will have been travelling for around 24 hours and I am back at work the next day. I rang my partner and asked if he could give me a lift from the airport , it is about a 2 and a half hour drive. He says he has a meeting at 10am and I land at 11:15, I said ok I don't mind waiting at the airport for you to arrive, he says he will be too tired as he drove 5 hours to Devon yesterday for a music show and he doesn't know how long the meeting will last so he can't do it and it's my fault that I fucked up the times. I said he was being selfish as I would go out of my way to help him in this situation. Who is being unreasonable here?

I don't think it is reasonable to ask a fairly recent partner to do a 5 hour drive in working hours. Presumably the only consequence of you booking the wrong time is that you need to pay £40 for a new ticket and the 6 hour coach trip is a necessary evil of you living a distance away from the airport. That unfortunately is the downside of long haul holidays. Just go to bed when you get in. It will take a few days to get over jet lag anyway.

He asked.

And pouted at him about it.

YABU to be annoyed at him for saying no, I wouldn’t ask my DH to do this for me, you’re basically asking someone to do a 5+ hour round trip, when you can sit on a coach for 6 hours and read/go to sleep/relax etc.

giving local lifts is a massive difference to what you’ve described, and you shouldn’t use it as a stick to beat him with.

5 hours of driving for a drama llama who I've been seeing for a few months? And there's a coach?

Hahaha.

NO.

I think it’s a big ask. It’s a long drive. Even if only one meeting it sounds like a work day for him so he’d lose work time. So he sets off 1pm ish. With you 3.30 ish. Break and then home 7pm ish.
I don’t see what’s wrong with coach option that gets you in at 8pm? It’s much of a muchness.
We got home 10.30pm from Canada and I was working day after this month. You feel jet lagged and crap no matter what.

So you don’t want a 6 hour trip but expect him to do a 5 hour one? If you have a car then you should have parked it at the airport if you didn’t want to sort travel back home.

You made the mistake why should he be made to sort it out for you?

You've been together 5 minutes I wouldn't call him a partner.

She just keeps wittering on about all the things she's done for him. She's not counting or anything but...

Hopefully he's reevaluating this whole thing...

And was it also Heathrow or a regional airport? Did you have to take almost an entire day off work?

How far was the lift? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask partners for a lift, if the airport was down the road I’d say it was a bit selfish of him to say now, but a 6+ hour round trip is much more than just running someone to the shops or picking up from work or picking up on the way to a date etc.

Also, how much notice are you giving him? For a 6+ hour drive I’d be wanting at least a couple of weeks notice to rearrange my day and ensure I had some down time the next day too. I’m guessing you haven’t given him lots of notice?

The DM is cracked if she would pay £300 just to spare her DD the horror of a few hours on a coach.

No way would I accept, or expect, that. It's insane.

Just sleep on the journey. How long is the flight?

OP, asking him to take 5+ hours out of his day so you can save yourself £40 is basically saying you think his time is worth less than £8 per hour.

I'm happy to collect people from the coach stop or train station, but the last time I went to the airport when I wasn't travelling myself was to meet two unaccompanied minors returning from a visit to their dad, because their mum, my friend, had broken her leg the week before!

No way would I expect anyone to do a 5 hour return journey when public transport is available.

You won't sit for 6 hours on a coach but you expect him to sit for 5 hours to pick you up 🤣 yeah I'd rethink the relationship too, for his sake

Maybe he isn't picking you up because he's reconsidering the relationship too!

i would hoped to be picked up in this circumstance - especially if my partner didn’t mind driving. I think you should be in the honeymoon period at this point so he would be eager to help and see you. If he is also self employed and not busy\tired I wouldn’t feel bad asking. My partner loves driving and wouldn’t hesitate. The meeting thing if it makes it super inconvenient would be a fair enough reason for him not to though. (Trying to be fair!)

6hr coach Vs 5 hour round trip for him just to make your journey 2.5 hrs

Wow. Buy another ticket or wait a couple of hours. You are soo unreasonable

Also, if I were an employer and someone starting a new job I would far rather they told me they couldn't start until Tuesday or even Wednesday because they would be flying back from Mexico on the Sunday than have them come in on the Monday probably suffering from severe jet lag and unable to take anything in.

Yabvvu

If it was your error, the inconvenience should fall on you.

Are the lifts you gave him exactly the same as the one you're asking for OP?

To the same airport?

If you said in your opening post you've taken him to this airport twice, you may have got a different response.

He's shown a side you don't like so make your decision on that.